The article for the above URL is posted below. Personally, I can't believe how totally asinine these people are! My comments are in italics. What do you think about this?
"I'm a Christian and I have a sort of embarrassing problem. I need to know if masturbation is wrong in the eyes of God."
I know it took a lot of courage for you to write this letter, Troy. So I want to give you some counsel to help you with this issue.
Masturbation is the most practiced and least discussed sex act. A lot of people are doing it, but hardly any one will talk about it. You know Troy, that I will always go to the Bible to find answers to difficult questions. Yet nowhere in the Bible is masturbation mentioned. So what do we do?
I still go to the Scriptures. Even though masturbation isn't mentioned, the Bible has a lot to say about sexuality. There are principles in God's word about sexuality which should be applied to masturbation. And those principles show us, I believe, that masturbation is wrong in the eyes of God. ( Don't touch your toy Troy! )
To begin with, Troy, think about one of God's purposes for sex: Sex was created by God to help prevent man's "aloneness" (Gen. 2:18). Sex was clearly meant for two people--that is why masturbation goes against God's purpose for sexuality. ( Don't ever diddle yourself ladies, get yourself a MAN!!! )
Also, we must think about what almost always goes along with masturbation: sexual fantasy. Images, photos, movies--they provide material for people to create their own sexual fantasies. And we can easily become addicted to these kind of fantasies. In Proverbs 12:11, we are told that "he who chases fantasies lacks judgment." ( Like chasing the fantasy of a big EYE in the SKY watching you pull your pud? )
Paul, in 1 Corinthians 6:12, asked us to live in reality, not in fantasy. He also told us not to be mastered by anything. It may be difficult to understand, Troy, but masturbation can do great damage to you sexually. Your sexual stimulation and pleasure can become tied to certain images that aren't reality, that only exist in your head. Your future sex life within your marriage, could suffer. ( Yeah, if you are a gal, you might learn your body enough so you can orgasm easily all the time. Or if you are a guy you might learn how to control yourself so you can give your partner the time of her life. BAD BAD BAD!!!! And the hairy palms, need we even mention them?? )
Finally, masturbation can become a substitute for healthy relationships with other people. Some people make the mistake of choosing masturbation as an unhealthy way to deal with their loneliness, depression, or frustration. They turn to masturbation as an emotional substitute for their problems. (Oh, yeah, I would much rather sit in my room alone whacking my meat instead of a hot time with a sexy woman. RIGHT!!!!!)
So how do you overcome the problem of masturbation? First, you must remind yourself that God loves you. And don't hate your sexual feelings. God made each of us with these kind of feelings. They may be difficult to deal with, but God can help you with them as you make Him the master of your sex life. ( I find waking your hard-on with a really big hammer helps too )
Masturbation is almost always a symptom of a deeper need. (Deeper , yes yes deeper) So Troy, look closely into your heart and mind. What is motivating you to masturbation? Are you lonely? ( Are you just horny?)Are you depressed? Are you afraid to date? (Are you not spending time getting to know the students in a good youth group?) (Are you young and healthy with raging hormones that you can't do anything to alleviate? If so, feel guilty about it! And hate yourself for being a sexual entity!)
Find someone--someone you can trust--to help you with this problem. Maybe it's your youth pastor or a very close friend. ( a wanking buddy? ) Ask him to hold you ( and your member ) accountable and to pray with you (on your knees, or him on his knees or...) . Also work hard ( hard, did he really say hard? ) at making some new friends.( Now he suggests "making" some friends. ) That way you can socialize instead of fantasize. ( Well I must agree that the real thing is better than a pocket pal. )
Finally you should avoid anything (such as websites, magazines, TV shows, or movies ( OR CLASSIC CHRISTIAN ART) which channel your sexual feelings into fantasies. I've always told students and teenagers that what you put into your mind will come out in your life--"garbage in/garbage out." ( And this guy would know garbage when he saw it wouldn't he? )
Troy you've taken a very difficult step toward solving a difficult problem. I'm proud of you. And I know God loves you, and He's proud of you. And most of all, God will help you. I know He will. ( He won't take away your sexual urges, but he will watch you as you blow your frustrated load into your sheets tonight you dirty filthy pervert )
Of Course you could always try this solution!!
AND THEN THE CHRISTIAN PITCH:
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Author: Dawson McAllister of Dawson McAllister Live!
Copyright © 1997, Dawson McAllister Live!, All Rights Reserved - except as noted on attached "Usage and Copyright" page that grants ChristianAnswers.Net users generous rights for putting this page to work in their homes, personal witnessing, churches and schools.
Thanks guys for permission to encourage ExChristians everywhere. Sure glad I can touch myself now without guilt. SHEESH are we back in the 1800s again? Oh, and by the way, Never go to church in Europe, it might get you all wound up again!
Done laughing? Now let's get serious and really look at this phenomena which is such a prevalent part of being human:
In contemporary society onanism is probably the most frequent sexual act. I think individualization goes hand in hand with onanism (no pun intended). The more people are thrown back on themselves and the more space they have for themselves, the higher the chances are they will sexually pleasure themselves.
The universality of the phenomenon leads to a wealth of expressions: next to masturbation, manustrupation, onanism, self-abuse, self-pollution, auto- or monosexual are the more popular ones like tossing off, jerking off, beating off, getting off, cumming, spanking the monkey, shooting. Decent descriptions are numerous: playing with yourself, pleasuring yourself, coming by yourself....
In the eighteenth century entire dissertations appeared about onanism and its dangers. In 1758 the enlightened doctor S.A.D. Tissot devoted a learned disquisition in Latin to the subject, which in 1760 was translated in French and after that appeared in dozens of prints and translations. His theory was clear and simple. Spunk was an important material, certainly in a man`s youthful years. Loss of seed by manual manipulation was life-threatening. Without seed no nerves and no brains.
Boys pleasuring themselves too often were tearing down their constitution, would get spinal consumption and eventually die or would commit suicide. Tissot initiated a tradition. After his first step hundreds of book came out about onanism.
According to Tissot and consorts causes for self-gratification were culturally determined. Boys learned to masturbate from other boys, from bad educators and by reading the wrong literature. It could be that the beds they slept in were too warm, that they slept on their stomach and not on their back, were riding horse or glided down banisters, ate hot and spicy foods or red meat, drank coffee, tea or alcohol, got to know the pleasures of physical touch while urinating, etcetera. Some educators even warned against reading the Bible, because this could arouse feelings of lust. On the rebound Tissot demanded from parents and educators to control the entire life of their children in order to turn the evil tide of self-stimulation. Historians have claimed that the battle against onanism has had less of an effect on the habit itself than on the boys` upbringing.
Tissot`s book served as a model for many others. Many quacks warned for the dangers of onanism, but simultaneously offered a remedy, a potion which could be bought from them only and for a staggering sum. Each of us has at one time or another seen a picture of mechanical means to prevent self-gratification. Some masochists keep such apparatuses in their home since these not only prevent lust, but also stimulate it. Pedagogues fulminated against self-abuse and designed their schools in such ways that this evil could be nipped in the bud. One educator devoted an entire book to the theme of trousers and skirts. According to him boys should change their tight pants, with dangerous pockets!, for skirts like the Scots. Their genitals would hang freely and cool and excitement wouldn`t be roused. When making water they didn`t wouldn`t have to touch their privy parts. A boy`s skirt was the best remedy against the voluntary pouring-out of seed. The pope seems to know of this piece of writing since he regularly warns against tight pants and their inherent danger for procreation.
Though Tissot`s theory is sheer nonsense, in pedagogy and medical science his views were common property till the Sixties. Many generations have been brought up on baloney. Luckily most boys haven`t given these matters much thought. But unfortunately many of them did sense some guilt, like a boy in the previous century, who tried to get medical advise for his excessive jerking-off. He wanted to get rid of his balls, but his doctor told him that onanism wsan`t that harmful and that he`d better keep his privy parts which in fact were the actual man", obviously with an eye on marriage and procreation. The boy was in for worse than the doctor suspected and tried to cut off his balls himself with a knife. With one he succeeded, but he had to seek medical assistance before getting to the other one. Novelist Lodewijk van Deyssel had a handy-man who designed an apparatus for him which made self-gratification impossible. Like many others he was a victim to the hysteria surrounding onanism.
During the last two centuries some raised their voice against the demoniac stigma of onanism. Freud also condemned the practice, but A.Morvincit ( love conquers", the alias of P.J. Smink) in Holland and Max Hodann in Germany wrote that masturbation wasn`t the drama doctors made of it. With his Harmful or not? New insights in an old erotic problem" (1920) Smink stood up for the pleasures of palm-driving. But outside the circle of medical men and pedagogues onanism remained a silent sin which could not be mentioned.
Nowadays doctors only warn against excessive masturbation. Yet many people do not feel comfortable pleasuring themselves.
Socially it`s still more acceptable to pleasure someone else or to pleasure each other. Which doesn`t alter the fact that no sexual act is of such frequent occurrence as masturbation. Coition is regarded with more respect but probably doesn`t score higher than a meagre second place. So many prejudices have disappeared, that in 1992 Making love with yourself" by Jos Lammers could come out, a book for children who want to know more about masturbation". Doctors objected a long time against the ease of onanism. Other forms of sex demand a partner, not always as near by as your own source of pleasure. An other objection from their heterosexual standpoint was the resemblance of the deed with the homosexual act. A man familiar with his own body and dick will object less to other men`s physiques. The relationship of his hand with his genitals can be called mono- as well as homo-sexual. A homosexual goes for his alikeness" and what is more alike himself than his own body? Maybe the auto-sexual act is pre-eminently the homosexual act.
An other objection is the monotony of monosexuality: more of the same. An objection of people lacking in imagination. In the first place there are several ways of doing it: with the hand, by rubbing, and some people are capable of licking or sucking themselves. You can do it lying down, standing up, sitting down, under blankets, in the shower, in the forest, the bus, the elevator, in the heat or while freezing cold. A video or magazine can get things started. Some men tie or hang themselves up or put on clothes that excite them. But the most important instrument is the imagination. A beautiful dream is the beginning and highpoint of much palm-driving. Illusions know more variations than cold reality. In the imagination things can happen you wouldn`t necessarily want to experience in reality, like murder, abuse, slavery. Masturbation is far from monotonous unless you see it as a mechanical act and not as a hedonistic pleasure.
The most important literature about monosexuality is historical and doesn`t deal with the delights of masturbation, but is about the sad history of the belief that the effects of onanism can be disastrous. These days the theme is mainly that it`s not unhealthy or sinful at all. According to some sex pedagogues it`s an educational experience which prepares one for later twosomes. But why would it be better or more fun together than by yourself? Self-gratification has for two centuries been abused and denounced. All the attempts to turn evil into good didn`t help to give this lonely pleasure the mature status it deserves.