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1/19/2007                                                                                       View Comments

Angry Freewill Baptist Preacher

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aw, Brett...You were way too easy on this guy. He was polite and well-spoken, though, so I could see why you'd not want to be too big of an ass :)

But, I was hoping you'd ask this: Would he be in compliance with God's law if he were to kill a homosexual today?

Also, if God answers the ambiguous questions on a personal basis as the preacher claims, you can perhaps ask the preacher to ask God for the answers, then the preacher can TELL US!

sincerely,
hellbound_atheist (you may remember me from the yahoo chat rooms...)

Anonymous said...

This preacher seems to be doing a lot of side-stepping especially when the adultery question came up.

R. Hoeppner said...

Brett,

I know that smoking won't send you to hell - it just makes you smell like you'e been there.

And just what IS in that cup you keep drinking?

And what's with the shades? You aren't taking anything that's keeping your pupils dialated, are you?

Anyway it's very interesting and I've heard the argument pertaining to the KJV.

Brett Keane said...

R. Hoeppner seems to talk alot but nothing useful seems to come out. I wouldn't know what Hell smells like. I guess thats an experience of yours.

2. I'm drinking coffee

3.I had my curtain open in front of me so more light could get in. The shades helped me.

4.Next time you talk trash or attack me in a personal manner I won't bother speaking with you anymore. Get the picture kid?

xrayman said...

Brett,
I just can't get enough of your bits. I just love your style dealing with these Christians and exposing the bullshit in the Bible for what it is. I just love the way you keep your voice tone so cool while your facial expressions say "ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?" Yet the people on the phone are clueless and you just have the perfect way about you that keeps them on the line. Your style in some way reminds me of Michael Moore. Keep them coming because I can't get enough.

Vixentrox said...

So....we are...coffee tables?

freedy said...

The way that preacher spoke reminded me of Sasha(?) Cohen's "Bruno",... NO?. We need more people like this exposing these freakin slick-talking con artists.

My kids should have been stoned ten times over,..if what that preacher believes is true.

tigg13 said...

Ok, so god passed a law saying that it is a capital offense to be a homosexual person and/or a disobidient child. But because we are all sinners we can't follow this law (which is also a capital offense). But god made it possible for us to to be saved anyway so that we can go to heaven and become perfect and then we will be able to kill homosexuals and bad kids. (Not that there will be any of these kinds of people in heaven for anyone to kill - its just the principal of the thing I guess.)

Excuse me, I need to go lie down - I feel a little dizzy from all that spinning.

eel_shepherd said...

vixentrox wrote:
"...So...we are...coffee tables?..."

Looks like.

Note that the good clergyman said first of all that no-one else had the right to destroy his coffee table, and later on claimed right of eminent domain over that same hapless piece of furniture. If I were that coffee table, I'd be worried. It's gonna need somebody on its bond...

I didn't realise that Brett posts at this messageboard until now, so I feel a bit awkward not knowing whether to use the second-person or third-person way of referencing the video-posts (which I absolutely love; keep 'em coming). For the moment maybe I'll stick with the 3rd-person since it's the actual stuff that I usually address.

In immediate contradiction of what I just wrote, this post is about the style. I note that he's always a little nicer than the nasty people and a little nastier than the nice ones. This is the best way of keeping them on the line (read: giving themselves enough rope) long enough for them to get caught up in a contradiction of their own making. Today's guy was a perfect example --- he (the guy) mentioned the _fact_ of the conversation enough times to make it clear that there would be circumstances under which he would just hang up the phone. If he had, he'd never have had the opportunity to walk into the trap of admitting that all people are filthy sinners and are therefore in no position to be executing judgement(s) on homosexuals who are also only sinners.

The thing I was first going to mention before I even saw the comments so far, was about the cigarettes and the big honkin' coffee mug and the sunglasses, etc. etc. etc. And it was to observe that this will drive the Xians nuts when they're watching the video, because they hate being reminded of the body, or the idea that a person might take steps to see to its needs and comfort in the physical world.

Anonymous said...

If the wages of sin is death, then Jesus having been perfect could not have died nor could he have been killed.

This is exactly what they were counting on back then, when asked "Who shall speak for this man?" No one spoke up, not even his own mother, because they knew he would survive crucifixion.

Even Jesus himself thought he would come down from the cross and live forever, but he got fooled.

That's the reason there was so much shuffling and commotion going on there and the body was missing?

Why was the body missing, if it's the soul only, that rises? Because it was all a hoax.

Sin = death
No sin = no death, God's Law

Click on The Jesus Hoax, for more details.

Anonymous said...

Don't you love when they spit that circular logic like that? God does with his creation what he pleases? I guess he likes killing kids, homosexuals and adulteresses. Now I understand when my mom used to say, "I brought you into this world. I can take you out!" LOL!

Good job Brett,
Joey

Anonymous said...

If God owns people wouldn't that make him a slave master?

Anonymous said...

http://exchristian.net/exchristian/poj.jpg

what would you think, if i make an image, pissing on your mother's/son's face?

Anonymous said...

is your son a fish?

R. Hoeppner said...

Wow Brett, I am so honored that you would respond to someone as lowly as I (even if it's not for my consumption only)!

Hey what do you think about that atheistic regime (godless Commie's!) that's just let the genie out of the bottle by blowing up one of their satellites with a missle? (guidance technology they got from us during the Clinton years). You certainly can't blame that one on the "religious" though we've had our share. Hypersonic space debris is hurtling about and will eventually carom into other satellites and space craft creating even more space shrapnel-and the chain reaction will never stop. I wonder how this will effect the GPS/TV/Communications industries? You weren't planning on visiting the ISS anytime soon were you?
Oh, and what I wrote were personal questions not personal 'attacks.' Sorry you took it that way (my suspicions stem from my former peace officer career). I just couldn't help but notice that you are addicted to nicotene.

By the way, haven't you noticed that the latest research shows that cigarette companies have been increasing the nicotene levels in their tobacco? It's been on all the news of late. As the old saying goes, "A word to the wise."

I hope this satisfies your need for me to say something useful:)

Lest I should be accused of trying to push my blog (a frequent accusation, I'm afraid) I declined to list it here without an invitation to do so.

Bently said...

R. Biblethumper, Blow it out yo ass!

Brett,
Now about this self-claimed preacher, naturally he's on the defensive because no one in his congregation calls him to ask him any questions opposing the Bible, since he's got them all mesmerized, he being the Holy See.

I would be willing to bet he has never received over 10 calls questioning the Bible, in all his years of tenior.

What a jerk he was, reminds me of these xtian jerks, that post on here.

twincats said...

Mr. Hoeppner,

Hypersonic space debris?? A long way from Leviticus, no?

Having spent 4 years (out of 8) in the USAF, I can tell you that NORAD tracks every piece of debris in low-earth orbit. Furthermore, all satellites are equipped with what are essentially air tanks with spray nozzles to change positions, adjust orbits, etc. and thus they can easily avoid debris collisions.

GPS, TV and communications satellites are in geostationary orbit (22,000 miles or so) and not subject to the ravages of the low-earth orbit (less than 100 miles) debris problems.

paul said...

Good Questions from Brett Keanes:
When we refer to Leviticus we shall remember that God gave these laws to Israel when it was under the regime known as theocracy, which means that God exclusively reigning His people.
There were treated as a special nation by God and given laws that are specially intended for them.
Therefore, the legal nature of those laws do not apply to others. However, the moral nature of those laws apply to all nations in the world.
That means,
We do not kill a disobedient teenager in our society. But the cursing of one’s parents is still condemnable.
We do not kill a homosexual in our society. But the practice of homosexuality is still an abomination in the sight of Holy God.
We do not kill adulterers in our society. But the practice of adultery is detestable in the sight of God even today.
Therefore, we should concentrate only on the moral nature of Old Testament laws. Not their legal nature because they were given to a special nation when they were given.

The Coffee Table analogy is a good shot by the preacher at Brett Keanes.
The person who owns the coffee table has the perfect right to destroy it.
Similarly, God being the owner of the universe has the perfect right to destroy whatever He chooses to destroy.
We should be thankful to the Lord that He is good and gracious and providing all the resources for the survival of the humanity on this planet.

Pull The Other One! said...

Paul,

If you throw rocks at a coffee table, does it bleed and scream in pain?

It's not a good analogy.

JV said...

RH: "Hey what do you think about that atheistic regime (godless Commie's!) that's just let the genie out of the bottle by blowing up one of their satellites with a missle? (guidance technology they got from us during the Clinton years). You certainly can't blame that one on the "religious" though we've had our share. Hypersonic space debris is hurtling about and will eventually carom into other satellites and space craft creating even more space shrapnel-and the chain reaction will never stop. I wonder how this will effect the GPS/TV/Communications industries? You weren't planning on visiting the ISS anytime soon were you?"

The Djinn, per se, was released at the discovery of atomic theory and application. This of course was elicited by physicists because some fascist dictator Christian wanted to rule the world - Hitler.

The Chinese using tracking/guidance systems was as well the product of a religious follower - Clinton... Baptist.

Trying to blame a religious/non-religious person for space debris falling at any opportune time, is hollow, unless you want to blame those who launched the objects into space. Want to guess which nation has the "most" satellites in space... how about the most "Christian" nation...

Yep, hands down the U.S. has a reported 413 sats, and... the rest of the world combined - 382.

http://www.space.com/news/ap_051207_us_satellites.html

What do I think about China blowing up their "own" satellite? It's their satellite... and... I don't recall the blowing up of their satellite as causing some apocalyptic chain reaction viz. hurling space debris in a domino effect that would place the world in travesty.

RH: "Sorry you took it that way (my suspicions stem from my former peace officer career)."

And, what does a "peace" officer do, these days - per se.

RH: "By the way, haven't you noticed that the latest research shows that cigarette companies have been increasing the nicotene levels in their tobacco? It's been on all the news of late. As the old saying goes, "A word to the wise."

Uh, please provide a link or something to that effect... :-)

JV said...

RH: "Hey what do you think about that atheistic regime (godless Commie's!) that's just let the genie out of the bottle by blowing up one of their satellites with a missle?"

Paul: "The Coffee Table analogy is a good shot by the preacher at Brett Keanes. The person who owns the coffee table has the perfect right to destroy it."

Suppose Paul would suggest that the Chinese have the right to destroy their in-orbit coffee table - as they own their property. Thanks Paul, you seem to have a knack with analogy. Perhaps, you and RH can discuss the finer points of property ownership and deontoloty.

eel_shepherd said...

paul wrote:
"...God being the owner of the universe has the perfect right to destroy whatever He chooses to destroy..."

I'd agree with that, although not the way you were probably hoping. People created the gods, not the other way around, and they (people) have the right to destroy what they've created. Which they ought to do at the earliest opportunity.

George said...

Paul wrote: "We should be thankful to the Lord that He is good and gracious and providing all the resources for the survival of the humanity on this planet."

Yes thank you God for giving us diseases and bacteria and cancer and AIDS and letting our teeth rot out and decay and we get old and lose our minds and have heart attacks and arthritis etc.,etc. then we flop over dead.

Then if we don't believe in Jesus, he sends us to hell, yay, way to go there God, thank you so much.

paul said...

JV, there is a difference between relative ownership and absolute ownership.

China owning a satelline in the orbit is a relative ownership, which must be exercised with a sensivity for others in the world.

But God, exercising absolute ownership on the universe has perfect right to do whatever He chooses.

paul said...

George,

don't blame God for the ills of the world.

The first man sinned against God and we are reaping the consequences.

Why don't you think sometimes about the goodness of God who sent His Son to die in our stead and to prepare a way to escape the hell?

Anonymous said...

Brett...I enjoy these.

It gave me a slight chill, hearing the...uh...bovine excretory verbal stylings of Mr. Freewill Baptist Dude. I've heard that exact rationalization before, nearly verbatim. In fact, I have used it before, years ago, when trying (and failing) to explain why this loving God had such an itchy metaphorical Old Testament trigger finger. "Well, god made humanity, so He can exterminate it; the potter can smash her pot in to clay oblivion, yada yada.." What was telling to me however was that Baptist Boy never answered your question: God was telling PEOPLE to kill their disobedient children, and telling PEOPLE to kill homosexuals. The same people, oh by the way, who are "not righteous, not even one." So this all-powerful, all-just deity is having fallible evil human beings do his dirty work...? He's the Don, and some unspecified subset of the populace are his hit men?

Oh, but wait; perhaps those charged with imposing his Justice (whacking naughty kids, gays and lesbians, slaughtering eaters of shellfish) are the church leaders...in which case these verses become a tad more convenient, at least to those seeking justification for acts of ugliness. The voice in your head has more credibility if it's "Jehovah's..."

Crapulence.

Keep up the good work...

Benjamin

Anonymous said...

So, essentially, the Bible is...a coffee table book about coffee tables...?

And some say that Seinfeld isn't prophetic...

Benjamin

Jim Arvo said...

Why does he not adhere to all of god's laws? Because he's imperfect. He's a sinner. I've heard that one a million times. But what he and like-minded believers never address is this: Should he not at least try to adhere to all the laws to the best of his abilities? In what ways is he trying to honor Leviticus chapter 20? Has he even advocated the stoning of disobedient children or adulterers? Has he vocally opposed the eating of shellfish? If not, why not? Would it not be a good thing in the eyes of his lord?

Now what about that contract analogy. He says that there are things he does not fully understand in the Bible. That's fine, but then the contract analogy is dubious. Could you judge a contract you didn't understand? Suppose it contained clauses that stipulated various circumstances under which you must put people to death, and numerous other clauses that contradicted your sense of morality? In what way is that like a contract? In what way does one agree to it?

Brett, I think you handled this well. Please don't take my remarks above as a criticism. We can all think of things we would like to have said to this guy in retrospect, but you were doing this in real time, and you were being polite and truthful. Keep it up.

By the way, the one thing this guy said that really rubbed me the wrong way was that if he "perceives" that you are not listening to what he is saying, then he will no longer talk to you. Here he has left himself a loophole that you could drive a Mac truck through. In effect, if he ever feels embarrassed or threatened by your questions, all he needs to say is "You are not listening to me." He also accused you of putting words in his mouth when you were simply paraphrasing in the context of a question. That too is a bit disingenuous.

Spirula said...

nicotene

Not just once, but twice. That from someone who feels they have the concern-troll right to address someone else's smoking.

Anonymous said...

"Paul" shat out:

"When we refer to Leviticus we shall remember that God gave these laws to Israel when it was under the regime known as theocracy, which means that God exclusively reigning His people."

No, we shall not "remember," we shall ask for something remotely resembling proof. God wrote the laws down? Put the words into the head of some Biblical figure? Do you have any basis for this, other than some ancient book of riddles and your own imagination? Assuming that such laws in fact existed at the time, what evidence can you offer that a deity created them? Are you claiming with a straight face that the same God who set down in literal stone, as your legend would have it, "THOU SHALT NOT KILL," really meant "...except for naughty kids and homosexuals?"

Anonymous said...

"We should be thankful to the Lord that He is good and gracious and providing all the resources for the survival of the humanity on this planet."

Tell it to the millions all over the world who are dying in misery and pain of hunger...you sanctimonious fuckwit.

George said...

St.Paul wrote:

"Why don't you think sometimes about the goodness of God who sent His Son to die in our stead and to prepare a way to escape the hell?"

What's wrong Paul, couldn't big God Daddy handle saving souls all by himself, is your imaginary God that weak and ignorant, he needs to send help?

Besides if Jesus was perfect and without sin, Jesus could not have been killed in any manner.

The wages of sin is death, God's Law.

JV said...

Paul: "JV, there is a difference between relative ownership and absolute ownership. China owning a satelline in the orbit is a relative ownership, which must be exercised with a sensivity for others in the world."

RH: "Hey what do you think about that atheistic regime (godless Commie's!) that's just let the genie out of the bottle by blowing up one of their satellites with a missle?"

Hey, RH, Paul suggests that atheist godless commie’s, have just as much "relative" right to act and do as they please, just like everyone else. Thanks Paul, I like the way you think.

tigg13 said...

Oh paul, have you ever owned a dog?

Would you say that it is ok for someone who owned a dog to torture it to death? It is their dog, isn't it?

No. Only an evil, sadistic prick (like your god) would do something like that.