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9/16/2007                                                                                       View Comments

Jesus is AWESOME!

By Brother Jeff

JESUS
is just so AWESOME! I have been thinking a lot about God lately, and after the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sinfulness, I turned my life over to Christ! Again! This time it's for real and it's for good! I'll never turn my back on Him again! As for me and my cat wife Tasha, we will serve the LORD! I am so grateful to God for the way He has been helping me at school. When I don't know something, I pray about it, and Jesus gives me a revelation! And sometimes He is right! Glory! And I know that when He is wrong it's my fault for not hearing Him correctly, or it's Satan's fault for interfering with the spiritual transmission. Man, God is so awesome! If you're not God's friend, then you are His enemy and you are going to burn in HELL forever! Jesus loves you!

Shit! F**k that shit. It's hard for me to write like that anymore even joking about it. I can understand a belief in a deistic sort of god who created it all given the beauty of our world and the universe and the design evident in it, but the "revealed" gods of religions seem utterly unreal to me now. So do concepts like resurrected (magically undead) people who live in the sky. And a god with giant books who is going to judge everybody and then toss the vast majority of humanity into a flaming torture chamber for eternity? Yeah, right. And speaking of books, the notion that the Bible is an inerrant, infallible Book from God is absolutely ludicrous. And the concept of the "Holy Spirit" is hilarious! How can anybody even say "Holy Spirit" without laughing out loud? And of course "Holy Ghost" is even funnier! lmao_99.gif And yet I used to ask god to fill me up with the holy spirit all the time. All I ever got was a lot of warm fuzzy feelings while I continued to be a typically arrogant, ignorant, obnoxious religious asshole.

And what about wanting to be like Jesus? Why would I want to be like a man who plans to roast most of humanity forever? That's like wanting to be like Hitler - only many times worse! Wendytwitch.gif

What a crock of shit religion is! Religion is Bullshit! FrogsToadBigGrin.gif Like I seem to remember Dave the WM saying once, "It's (believing in the Christian myths) like being on a really bad acid trip!"

46 comments:

Huey said...

Brother Jeff! Great lead-in! You had me going there!

SpaceMonk said...

Glory!

freethinker05 said...

Jeff, you little kidder-you, ha ha
Roger

Steven Bently said...

Ha ha ha, I was on my knees praying out loud begging for forgiveness, when I started reading the second paragraph I said to myself....whew he was just kidding...lol That was a good one BJ, I needed a good laugh.

What I cannot understand is when I get an opportunity to discuss religion with someone, instead of saying for-joy, for-joy, I no longer have to pretend that I believe in such nonsense, instead they get upset and defencive.

For me, for someone I've known all my life and trust to tell me the truth about religion, it would be like a big weight lifted off of my shoulders, free at last, free at last. Thanks BJ, that was fun :-)

Joseph said...

No one mocks Christianity better than former Christians. Nice!

Anonymous said...

You mock that which you have been blinded to which is the truth. Ask yourselves this question: Why do you go out of your way to demean, mock and put down that which you say is false? Maybe someone hurt you that was a Christian or you think the church let you down. Face the facts that we all have our faults and we all need help. All have sinned thus all need the Savior Jesus Christ.

Danny Tuason said...

To anonymous,

Go ahead! Start you prayers! Let's see if he truly hears you!

Praying to Jesus is like praying to Mickey Mouse or Jabba the Hut (Pizza the Hut in Spaceballs).

I have faced the facts...your Christian god is a lie. Stop lying to yourself! And live your life...set yourself free from your personal shackles!

Peace! (I say peace to everyone...including the blind Christian fundie.)

Danny

Brother Jeff said...

"You mock that which you have been blinded to which is the truth."

I mock ridiculous beliefs. I've been blinded by an evil spook who likes to manifest as a talking snake though, right? Christianity the truth? Yeah, right. Why then is there NO evidence supporting ANY of its claims? If Christianity is the truth, then people fly and an invisible magically undead man lives in the sky. Yeah. Sure...

"Maybe someone hurt you that was a Christian"

Tired, worn out fundie excuse #1. Nope. The vast majority of the folks I went to church with in my fundie days were nice folks.

...or you think the church let you down.

Tired, worn out fundie excuse #2, but yep, they sure did. They lied to me repeatedly about many things over a period of 15 years of my life. And then there's the *cough* minor issue of the brainwashing and indoctrination I was subjected to... Wouldn't you say that there is something just a bit wrong with an institution that engages in lying to and brainwashing/indoctrinating their members? I certainly would, and do...

Face the facts...

That's an ironic statement coming from one who has no facts with which to back up his absurd religious beliefs.

All have sinned thus all need the Savior Jesus Christ.

"Sin" is a mythological concept taken from an ancient Book of Myths. Jesus Kryasst, if he lived in history at all - which is doubtful - is long dead and can save no one. Salvation is a religious concept with no demonstrable basis in reality anyway.

Face the facts, Brother Anonymous. Your ridiculous religious beliefs have no demonstrable basis in REALITY. Engage your brain, THINK, and join us here in the REAL WORLD. Glory!

stevie said...

> You mock that which you have been blinded to which is the truth.

Personally I didn't find the original posting very funny. The humour
obviously doesn't travel well.

> Ask yourselves this question: Why do you go out of your way to
> demean, mock and put down that which you say is false?

For my part I think there's some "I can't believe I was ever that
dumb!" angst to work through. On another, less venal, level I think it
has to do with being honest. I honestly think the Christian faith is
false - that it has no basis in reality either historically or in the
claims made for a "personal relationship with God".

> Maybe someone hurt you that was a Christian or you think the church
> let you down. Face the facts that we all have our faults and we all
> need help. All have sinned thus all need the Savior Jesus Christ.

Nope.

Steve

AA said...

Brother Jeff? will you marry me?? Oh wait...already married...damn

Anonymous said...

Is it because atheists don't believe in hell that they create it here on earth when they have political control?

Brother Jeff said...

Is it because atheists don't believe in hell that they create it here on earth when they have political control?

Atheists have never done any such thing, at least not because of their atheism. Would you care to cite alleged examples so we can debunk them for you? Is it because the Church knows that hell is a myth that they created as a tool of fear to control the gullible masses that they created it here on earth when they had political control? How many millions were slaughtered and burned at the stake for Jesus? How many thousands (or millions) of people per year would the Church still be Murdering for Jesus if they still could? There are plenty of modern day Christians who would happily burn unbelievers that they Hate for Jesus at the stake if they could... A scary reality, isn't it?

Monk said...

Anonymous 2,

Is it because Christians DO believe in hell that THEY create it here on earth when THEY have political control?

See? I can write stupid, snotty, ridiculous, arrogant, and delusional comments without providing proof, too.

Try to refute with proof if you can.

Blair Team Member said...

Brother Jeff, let me help out anonymous and provide some examples.

The atheistic Communists, BECAUSE of their hatred of religion set up Gulags to torture believers to death by the millions.

Trotsky, specifically singled out churches and believers...not just people with political power...for extermination because religion had nolace in the atheistic world of DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM.

YOU see, communism per se would not have to be atheistic,all the early Christians described in the book of ACTS practiced a form of communism, a concept that has been around for two thousand years.

The fact that the commies eliminated millions of powerless believers, not just capitalists, demonstrates that the motivation was not economic but actually the elimination of religion.

ATHIESTIC hatred of all religion...as frequently demonstrated on this site...gave communism the brutal character it took in the 20th century, and still takes.

Amnesty international has documented how ATHEISM has been forced on the Tibetans by the Chinese Commies as a means of destroying the cultural identity of the Tibetans.

The Gulags certainly count as hell on earth in my book. You can find many details on them in The GulagArchipelago, by the Nobel Prize Winner Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

But frankly, I know you are already aware of all this.

So who ya kiddin?

Brother Jeff said...

Brother Jeff, let me help out anonymous and provide some examples.

Let me help you out by debunking the bullshit you posted.

I always find it interesting that Christians ignorantly attempt to make atheists out to be the bad guys while conveniently ignoring the extremely bloody history of their own religion. As I asked Brother Anonymous earlier:

How many millions were slaughtered and burned at the stake for Jesus? How many thousands (or millions) of people per year would the Church still be Murdering for Jesus if they still could?

Care to take a stab at the staggering numbers? Care to contemplate how many people the Church would still be Murdering for Jesus today if they still could?

Victims of religion:

http://www.truthbeknown.com/victims.htm

Take a look at the enormous plank in your own eye before you go pointing out the infinitesimally small speck of dust in ours.

Blair Team Member said...

Your debunking fails.

The evidence is clear that Lenin, Trosky, and Stalin implemented and carried out their policies BECAUSE of their atheistic hatred of religion.

Communism as such did not require such actions, especially against peasants with no economic power.

The actions were required by the Dialectical Materialism that held that religion is totally incompatible with the state.

For numbers nothing in better than the Black Book of Communism, Harvard University Press.

For descriptions of the Gulags, the Gulag Archipelage by Solzhenitsyn is unsurpassed.

As for your source by "Acharya S."...fake name, fake credentials, third and fourth rate out dated sources...it has no credibility.

In the Intro to her Conspricy screed she calls Lenin and Trosky Jews...ignoring that they were athesists...and calls Stalin Orthodox...ignoring that he denounced the church and as also an atheisst.

Further, she repeats the old anti Jewish canard that Hitler was allegedly Jewish...pure garbabe, no mainsteam academic historian holds that view.

Her figures are likewise garbage.

She also has a vicious hatred of religion, just as you do...just as the other figures did.

But again, you know all this.

You are just blowing smoke.

Brother Jeff said...

My debunking of your bullshit did not fail at all. You simply refuse to accept the fact that your bullshit was easily debunked.

You are just blowing smoke.
Says the one who is really just blowing smoke...

I'll be sure to let Paul know that you said that the facts he cites on his excellent page are somehow magically wrong because you don't like them. I'm sure he'll go right out and take the page offline based on the opinion of an ignorant fundie...NOT!

As for Acharya S, I don't care for her or her opinions much either. I cited her page only because it is copied from a great site that is unfortunately no longer online. It is fortunate that she preserved the page. Now, attack the inconvenient facts, not the source.

I didn't really expect facts to matter to a fundie. They never do...

Brother Jeff said...

Oh, BTW...

How many millions were slaughtered and burned at the stake for Jesus? How many thousands (or millions) of people per year would the Church still be Murdering for Jesus if they still could?

Care to take a stab at the staggering numbers? Care to contemplate how many people the Church would still be Murdering for Jesus today if they still could?

ryan said...

Brother Jeff, Hi

if they still could Right.

We can be assured that they still want to.

But so what......I will make a summary of a few of my recent posts: I do not care if all xians are saints, angels, and PhD's, I still would not be a xian. I do not care if all atheists got together and murdered everyone else on earth, I would still be an atheist.

The fallacy that blair team member is indulging in is called Appeal to the Consequences of Belief. My atheism is the result of intelligent thought and debate, it is freely chosen, without regret, and I do not give a fuck what the consequences are.

fjell said...

Ryan, it's very good of you to point this out. I always appreciate it when you do, because it is such an important point.


Explanation of this fallacy.
can be found here.

boomSLANG said...

"I do not care if all xians are saints, angels, and PhD's, I still would not be a xian. I do not care if all atheists got together and murdered everyone else on earth, I would still be an atheist."

Amen...word-to-the-mutha.

Blair: ATHIESTIC(sic) hatred of all religion...as frequently demonstrated on this site...gave communism the brutal character it took in the 20th century, and still takes.

It amazes me how many Theists still cannot grasp what "A-theism" actually means, or what this website is all about, which I guess would explain why the conclusions they derive are so moronically distorted. Firstly, not ALL exchristians are "Atheists". Secondly, Atheism is not a proclamation that says, "we hate all religion!"; it is merely the non-belief in gods/God, which, ironically, the Theist dismisses ALL the same gods, except one. Moreover, there are some religions that are actually peaceful, at least, in comparison to the three leading monotheistic religions. Thirdly, godlessness and Communism are NOT mutually inclusive. Click here, and go cry the blues somewhere else, m'kay?

Bye now.

Brother Jeff said...

Hey there Ryan,

I knew there had to be a fallacy involved...thanks for putting a name to it. Glory!

Poltergoost said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!

That was awesome!

Thanks Jeff, and praise God!!

Can I have a few amens, and Hallelujahs?!!!!!

THE CHOIR STARTS SINGING:

Lyrics to "Amazing Grace" Parody:

"Amazing Disgrace that the christian God really is, who lied to a bunch of narrow minded people".

"I was once an idiot, but now I found my way out, I was once blind but now I really see".

Anonymous said...

Atheist spells EATSHIT

Bl;air Team Member said...

Boomslang, of course atheism and Communism are not mutually inclusive, as I pointed out in my post where I said that the early Christians practiced a form of communism.

But as implemented in the 20th century, communism was based on atheistic dialectical materialism, and elimination of religion was a key component of its program.

The death toll reacher 100 Million in the 20th century alone, as set out in The Black Book of Communism.

And its still going on, as Amnesty International detailed the Chinese imposition of atheism on the Tibetans as a means of destroying the Tibetan cultural identity.

Further, if you had a knowledge of history not based on atheist hate sites you would know that most so called religious wars had a basis in secular motives, land, resources, power.

You offer nothing to the world.

So long.

fjell said...

Yes, and Christian Apologist spells A Cashing Spirit Tool, what's you're point again?

fjell

Poltergoost said...

<<< Is it because atheists don't believe in hell that they create it here on earth when they have political control >>>

And christians don't create hell here on earth?

That's ok, because the christian right winged pricks are losing ground on a daily basis.

Now let's pass out some more of those bibles, and pass around the offering plate some more, and preach some more good news about how Jesus loves us more than life itself, and how we will go to hell for not following him.

Glory Be! Hallejuah! Amen! *Farts*

fjell said...

The amazing Blair Team Member said:
"But as implemented in the 20th century, communism was based on atheistic dialectical materialism, and elimination of religion was a key component of its program.

The death toll reached 100 Million in the 20th century alone, as set out in The Black Book of Communism."

BTM, unfortunately for you, the actions of humans have nothing to do with the question: Does (a) god exist?

Do you think that metaphysical reality is somehow contingent upon human behaviour?


Bad news for Christians if you're right.


fjell

Poltergoost said...

ANONYMOUS SAID:

"Atheist spells EATSHIT"

Now, now, now, didn't your heavenly father teach you not to use language such as that?

I don't believe that is part of the christian language the last time I checked.

Is that a revelation from God? Did God tell you to say that?

Funny because you can't spell "CHRIST" without including the word, "SHIT" in it.

Brother Jeff said...

...you would know that most so called religious wars had a basis in secular motives, land, resources, power.

So the Church slaughtered all those millions of folks and burned more at the stake for secular motives? Yeah, right. *Brother Jeff rolls his eyes*

You offer nothing to the world.

Please explain how Science, Reason, Rational Thought, Truth, Facts, and Common Sense somehow magically equal "nothing". Thanks.

So long.

Such is the typical Christian pattern online - post bullshit, see bullshit easily refuted by much more educated atheists, post refuted bullshit at least one more time apparently in the hopes that posting bullshit repeatedly will somehow magically make it true, and then leave. Christian will likely soon repeat the same pattern on another atheist site using the same previously easily refuted bullshit.

alanh said...

Blair Team Member wrote:

atheism and Communism are not mutually inclusive

Or to put it another way, they are not the same thing.

communism was based on atheistic dialectical materialism, and elimination of religion was a key component of its program.

However communism has since been discredited, atheism is doing well. Discrediting atheism would require credible evidence of a deity, and we are still waiting for that.

...most so called religious wars had a basis in secular motives, land, resources, power.

Sounds like special pleading, the same motivations applied in communist regimes. Theocracy and communism are both dead ends.

Franciscan Monkey said...

blair team memeber wrote:

"The evidence is clear that Lenin, Trosky, and Stalin implemented and carried out their policies BECAUSE of their atheistic hatred of religion.

Communism as such did not require such actions, especially against peasants with no economic power."

Peasants with no economic power? What in the world are you talking about? The wheat farmers were the real power in the USSR in the 20's and 30's, and Stalin wanted control of agricultural in order to both feed his industrial workers and to fund industrial growth through wheat exports. When the farmers resisted his "collectivization," they were ruthlessly killed or deported by the millions. I'm sorry, but your comments show an ignorance of the history of the Soviet Union.

Respectfully,
Franciscan Monkey

boomSLANG said...

Blair Team,

Simply put, your problem isn't with Atheists; or Communists; or Democrats; or Fascists; or who-slaughtered-who, or any of that----your problem is with people who deny your "God", specifically.....i.e..your precious Yahweh & Son(and spook) That's right, if every Atheist on the face of the Earth converted to Islam or Buddhism tomorrow, you'd then being frothing at the mouth, turnin' purple, and stompin' your feet over that fact. Beat it.

Poltergoost said...

I have to say that the thing that makes me laugh the most, is christians think that if they continue to quote bible verses (scripture) on here that it will eventually convert us over to their faith like magic. *Poof!*

Of course they do believe the bible (so called word of God) is like a "Double Edged" Sword, and it will pierce us eventually. so I guess they figure if they continue to "fight the good fight" on here eventually they will quote the right "Bible Verse", and then "BOOM!" We'll be convicted of our sins, fall on our faces, and start repenting, and confessing what sinners we are to their God, and how wrong we were for bashing their faith, and telling them that they are wrong.

I must say christians do provide some good entertainment at times.

No wonder God likes to be praised so much by them. Hell, I'd enjoy the entertainment too if I was God.

God must really enjoy comedy. :)

Poltergoost said...

ANONYMOUS SAID:

<<< You mock that which you have been blinded to which is the truth. Ask yourselves this question: Why do you go out of your way to demean, mock and put down that which you say is false? Maybe someone hurt you that was a Christian or you think the church let you down. Face the facts that we all have our faults and we all need help. All have sinned thus all need the Savior Jesus Christ. >>>

Got anymore good jokes for us? You bible thumpers really need to come up with some new jokes. These jokes are getting old.

Of course we all know that you christians have the only real truth, which is the "One Sided Biased" version of the truth that you have been taught to believe over the years.

It seems you need some "Reality" glasses so you won't be blind anymore my dear fundy friend.

Anyone ever notice most of these guys never return after they post.

I wonder if one of "Jesus/God's" other names was "Anonymous".

I am the great "Anonymous"!

Poltergoost said...

ANONYMOUS SAID:

<<< Face the facts that we all have our faults and we all need help. >>>

Ok, you're right, we all need help seeing the real truth about christians, and their fault faith.

<<< All have sinned thus all need the Savior Jesus Christ. >>>

Yawns.........ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Can you not come up with something more original than the same old 2,000 year old cultic statement. Geez....Even David Koresh was a more effective cult leader than that.

Funny, I don't remember being around back when Adam and Eve bit some fruit on a tree, or when some bum was nailed to a cross. I don't remember being the one who committed that sin.

Unless my memory is getting bad, I don't remember being around 2,000 years ago or more. Damn, I can't be that old can I?

Poltergoost said...

Ok, I'll see if I can make a good joke like these christians do.

Q: What do you get when you cross a "Dam" with "God"?

A: You get a "Dam God".

I guess I better get out the bible so I can come up with better jokes.

Anonymous said...

Why does everyone who becomes an X-Christian suddenly become so foul-mouthed? I've never seen so much crass language as on this site. If you people are so educated as to make an intelligent decision about Jesus, your language betrays otherwise. You sound like a bunch of redneck bike riders at the local bar. Grow up.

Clytemnestra said...

Really, darling, you mustn't be so sensitive. To describe such language as "foul" simply betrays your own childish subjectivity. Perhaps, my dear, you are not accustomed to the company of grown men and women.

Let me attempt to educate you. This will probably be as difficult as teaching an ape to piss in a urinal. A word cannot be foul. Foul refers to something which smells badly, such as rotting flesh or fresh shit. It can be used figuratively, such as "foul ball". But my precious, you are using the word as though a mere word can actually be foul. Words cannot be foul. It is you, my sweetness, who needs to grow the fuck up.

And let me remind you, my darling boy, that these Christians come in here to insult freethinkers, calling them sinners and condemning them to hell. If ever language becomes foul, that is foul. Those who come in here to preach the idiocy of damnation will get the welcome they so richly deserve.

Just one more little thing, my darling. When you grow up, you will learn that your lover's whispered obscenities will be the sweetest words you can ever hear.

stronger now said...

Anony,

The only difference between poop and shit is spelling.

I never thought that words were evil or vile or obscene in and of themselves. I always thought that the reason that christians acted so offended by such things is that it gave them a reason to NOT befriend the type of people that jebus himself befriended.(according to the bible) As if they were above the people that would be so crass.

Well, get off your high horse and try to explain why the word "shit" is bad and the word "poop" is not. If you say that "It's because society deems it so.", then you must agree that society is the arbiter of morality. I think that would be a position that you would not like to be in. So fuck off!

fjell said...

Anonymous said: Why does everyone...? [paste unhelpful overgeneralization here]

The fun continues with: I've never seen so much crass language as on this site.

Really?

In that case, my advice is to sit nice and tight there in your untainted house. You might otherwise unwittingly cross paths with some hack spouting an exponentially larger amount of said "crass language", an amount that - given the apparent pristine standards of your ears - would likely deafen you for life.

Watch it, now!

fjell

twincats said...

Anony (# whatever) said: “Why does everyone who becomes an X-Christian suddenly become so foul-mouthed? I've never seen so much crass language as on this site. If you people are so educated as to make an intelligent decision about Jesus, your language betrays otherwise. You sound like a bunch of redneck bike riders at the local bar. Grow up.”

I guess you missed this concise little gem from another of your ever anonymous brethren:

“Atheist spells EATSHIT”

How very convincing and polite!

Another thing, I have been around and have found that the way people choose to express themselves has less bearing on their intelligence and education than I imagined. You have to be willing to either listen or read and apply some comprehension. Try it sometime.

Oh, and if we offend you, you poor sensitive soul, then do yourself and us a favor and GO AWAY!

Clytemnestra said...

Yes, Herr Twincats has a marvelous reparte. I have read Christians on this site who can outdo the best of us in "foul" language. Oh dear, they are Christians, aren't they?

Hello to fjell and stronger now.

Hello to

stronger now said...

Hello Clytemnestra, interesting background of that name.

fjell said...

...tips the hat to Clytemnestra...

Keep kicking everyone's ass with your big truth machine gun, I like to say.

fjell

Clytemnestra said...

Big hello to stronger and fjell

I have been reading here for a few months and have decided to post. I was a little puzzled at first.......here were all these sharp , quick minds, and then these fruitloops who sound like they just stumbled out of a snake handler's service. I was not raised a "fundy" so they really do sound like they belong in some other world.

Just a little about myself: I was raised an atheist by two loving parents. Honest, my heart goes out to anyone who had the hard luck to be born into such an environment. These christians who are trying to woo you back into the flock have nothing to offer.

I must be off, my pets, to read the new posts. I am disappointed that anonymous failed to respond. Really, I had become attached to him, much as we become attached to a sick cat.

Ta Ta, loves, and I am not really as bad as my name might indicate. Not really.