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2/09/2008                                                                                       View Comments

"Creation Science 101"

Roy Zimmerman



What's funny about war, poverty, ignorance, bigotry, neo-conservatism, homophobia, greed, lust and fear? Ask Roy Zimmerman. He's been writing satirical songs for twenty years.

The Los Angeles Times says, "Zimmerman displays a lacerating wit and keen awareness of society's foibles that bring to mind a latter-day Tom Lehrer."

"Creation Science 101" is on my album "Faulty Intelligence" available on my website and on iTunes. -- Roy Zimmerman

19 comments:

chucky jesus said...

I found him on Youtube months ago -- funny guy! Love his stuff!

Ziggy Blacktail said...

I like this man's style.

Anonymous said...

God created the earth in 6 days not 7. He made everything even you. He, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

I AM SO HAPPY I DID NOT EVOLVE FROM A MONKEY.

AtheistToothFairy said...

Anonymous wrote:
I AM SO HAPPY I DID NOT EVOLVE FROM A MONKEY
--
I personally 'evolved' from my parents, neither of which was a monkey (to my knowledge).

Ironically anonymous "The Theory of Evolution" also says we didn't evolve from Monkeys, but that monkeys and humans descended from a common ancestor.

Now while evolution doesn't say you evolved from that "monkey", I do have to wonder if monkeys are who taught you your science knowledge ?????


ATF (Who's suddenly craving a magical, god created, Banana Sundae now)

Monkey's Uncle said...

Anonymous Said:
God created the earth in 6 days not 7. He made everything even you.

No, my father had sex with my mother and his sperm created me. Unless you are going to suggest that God himself impregnated my mother with his holy spirit like he did Jesus' mother Mary by shooting his holy sperm into her.

Anonymous Said:
He, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Since God created both man in it's image, and since it created male and feamle, then I guess God has both a penis and a vagina. God is a Morphidite, since he created man in his image which also includes women.

I don't think "She" God is going to be very happy with your claims Anonymous.

Anonymous Said:
"I AM SO HAPPY I DID NOT EVOLVE FROM A MONKEY."

You may not have evolved from one, however I'm sure you enjoy spanking one.

Victor said...

VictorDiaz:
(Sorry for my English is awful I know)
It's so easy to see That evolution is a religion!!!! and a fanatic one, only to see all you struggling to impose it, to found roots, arguments for yourselves, something that help you to keep your belief that "noGod", ask yourselves why you need to do this, science as "facts" don't need preachers... And a question: Aren't you you marginalizing to other people by their belief? insulting with ridiculous objections to them simply because they think different?(thanks God, you are civiliced) You really give pain like human beings, as it's to hope of those
who have lost the sense of the life, because, could you tell me
what is the sense of your lives if they are not but that the fruit of
the chance?
really, you give me hurts
May God bless you!!!

stronger now said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stronger now said...

V.D.:"It's so easy to see That evolution is a religion!!!!"

Ummm. No. Evolution is a scientific explanation for the diversity of life on planet earth. It is supported by evidence, not, I repeat, NOT, a dogmatically accepted doctrine.

"...something that help you to keep your belief that "noGod"..."

This is a straw man. If evolution was found to not be a valid explanation for the diversity of life, that, in NO way, would provide any evidence of a god.

"...ask yourselves why you need to do this, science as "facts" don't need preachers..."

It's probably because so many religious nuts tend to IGNORE facts if the facts contradict their chosen delusion.

" Aren't you you marginalizing to other people by their belief?"

When someone believes that facts should be ignored they marginalize themselves. We're just pointing it out to them.

"...insulting with ridiculous objections to them simply because they think different?"

If they don't want their beliefs laughed at they shouldn't believe such ridiculous things.

"You really give pain like human beings, as it's to hope of those
who have lost the sense of the life, because, could you tell me
what is the sense of your lives if they are not but that the fruit of
the chance?"

What?

"really, you give me hurts"

Truth hurts sometimes.

"May God bless you!!!"

And may quetzalcoatl be nice to you.

Jim Arvo said...

Victor,

I'm going to make several (educated) guesses about you, based solely on your short post. Please speak up and correct me if I'm wrong about a single one, okay? Here we go:

1) You have never read a single book on evolution written by a mainstream scientist (i.e. reflecting the *vast* majority opinion of the scientific community).

2) What you do "know" about evolution you "learned" through creationist tracts, books, or web sites.

3) You have never read a single book that challenges your religious beliefs.

Once again, if I'm wrong, please correct me. But in my experience, those who take the position you have are 100% ignorant of evolution and are essentially scientifically illiterate. That's how far off-base you are when you equate a scientific theory with a religion.

By the way, when you equate evolution with religion, you do so to disparage it, right? So, are you not saying that religion is a bad thing? Please explain.

boomSLANG said...

VictorDiaz:(Sorry for my English is awful I know)

Don't sweat it; your English isn't all that bad, especially compared to what we're used to. However, sadly, the "reasoning" you offer is another story.

Here we go...

You start in, with...It's so easy to see That evolution is a religion!!!!

(To Jim & all,

For the life-of-me, I always fail to see the motive when Creationists make this assertion)

Okay, Vic'...what are you saying?..are you saying that to believe in Evolution takes "faith", like, as in a "religion" has faithful followers? If so, is it then your contention that to take something on "faith" is flimsy reasoning, and/or, lacking in some way? Again, if so, then I should point out to you that you have not done one single thing to bolster, reinforce, or strengthen the Creationist' position---which, again, is neither fact, nor theory... but yet, pure, unfounded speculation.

Allow me to make what I think is an appropriate analogy:

If there are only two dogs left on consignment at the pet shop, and it's discovered that the one you are selling has fleas, but then you eagerly point out that the other guy's dog has fleas, too...well, what have you done to make YOUR "dog" more attractive to the buyer?..more sellable?

In other words, what have you done to make "Creation" more plausible, by merely attempting to shoot holes in the Theory of Evolution? 'Listening.

You continue...only to see all you struggling to impose it, to found roots, arguments for yourselves, something that help you to keep your belief that "noGod"...

Vic', I want you think about something---I want you to realize that lack of belief in something is NOT a "belief", much in the same way that NOT collecting baseball cards isn't "a hobby". Make sense? And BTW, it seems that you are attempting to level the playing field once more....i.e.."Atheism is belief, too!!!!" Again, what does such an assertion(as false as it is) do to BOLSTER the position of one who has a "belief" in a "God"? Would you like to explain your reasoning?

You go on....You really give pain like human beings, as it's to hope of those who have lost the sense of the life, because, could you tell me what is the sense of your lives if they are not but that the fruit of the chance?

A couple of points....

If "belief" in a post-mortem "life" is the only thing that gives you "hope", then guess what?... as of now, this minute, you are essentially hope-less. Additionally, if the premise is that to live, in and of itself, isn't "hopeful" enough, then to "live" eternally should be equally lacking, shouldn't it? Please explain for my benefit.

One last thing---when you speak of being here by "chance", and then when/if you consider how we are conceived, and further, you then consider all of the things that could possibly go wrong...well, you are here be "chance" anyway you look at it.

Adios!

AtheistToothFairy said...

Victor wrote:
It's so easy to see That evolution is a religion!!!! and a fanatic one
---
Yes Victor, all the world wide secular colleges that give courses on biology etc., are really breeding grounds for training special undercover 'fanatics'.

In fact, in the dark back corner of each evolution classroom, special instructions are being given to a select few. Those select few are being brainwashed with lessons on how to destroy the enemy camps that promote "intelligent design".
They are taught to first try and reason with young earth creationist and if that method fails, they will martyr themselves as suicide bombers in all the fundie churches across the world.

-OR-

Heck, I guess it's always possible (but unlikely) that the Theory of Evolution stands on it's own two feet, because it's so OBVIOUSLY correct.
It doesn't require even one iota of brainwashing, or bands of suicide bombers to promote it, as some religions like to rely upon.

Instead of joining your religious conspiracy promoters, you might want to invest some time into learning how evolution works from scientific sources, instead of the pulpit.
If you do that much and you still don't buy into evolution, we then will be glad to debate it with you here. Until then, well, you're preaching fallacy from your food-exit-hole.


ATF (Who wonders where he left his TNT bomber shirt at)

Victor said...

Fist, I want to say that you have the right to Bilieve whatever you want, Just
let people believe what they want in the same way.. Now you are the new Inquisition... you are doing the same..
remember "and you will know the truth and the truth will make you FREE" let people find the truth his own way OK????

As i say before, you have the same ardent fervor, as you were in a atheist church, HA HA HA, is so ridiculous...
And is really funny your belief about christians, as I can see, you think every body else (whose have another way of think) is a ignorant, I come from a communist country where atheism is the official religion, sorry I mean phylosophy... oh no sorry again scientific explanation PSSSS! and no, my family isn't christians... I know what I believe, and what you BELIEVE and why!
(I know what the tirany of toughts really is, and that come from people like you that's no matter if they are communist or religious, or "scientist" as you say you are)
what is really peculiar is that's no matter how deep is your knowledge if you don't believe in God, you will think you have all evidence you need to asset that's an absolute truth....(look in the history of atheism or in the brain of a an ignorant atheist farmer(for instance))
But you know? there is no way you question your religion by arguments(there is no facts in the absolute, only faith) but looking inside your hearts... after God there is not humanity!!! trust me, your god is a cruel one, ask Hitler!!!
this does not have sense, because you only see what you want, tha's no matter if you find evidence, you will have an "excuse" I mean, an "explanation", Right? so go and worship your blind St Chances in peace, only let us do the same whit "our" God and creator... please do not annoy other people because they want to say and allow all to scatter its thoughts in FREEDOM

(thats is only a human rigth not only a wish)
Bye
Jesus love you all!!!!
Vic

Jim Arvo said...

Victor,

You came here, right? Unless I'm mistaken, none of us went out of their way to track you down and attack what you believe. I personally do not care one iota what you believe. You are free to think and do as you wish.

But, since you have decided to come here, and to make ridiculous inflammatory statements, expect to be challenged. Okay?

You said "As i say before, you have the same ardent fervor, as you were in a atheist church, HA HA HA, is so ridiculous..."

It's unclear who you are addressing, Victor. Is that silly comment intended to smear everybody who does not share your particular religious beliefs? That's a rather broad brush, isn't it?

You also said "And is really funny your belief about christians, as I can see, you think every body else (whose have another way of think) is a ignorant,..."

Not so. I have many friends and colleagues who are Christians; some of them are quite brilliant. But we do tend to see a shockingly large number of ignorant Christians at this particular site--that is entirely true.

You said "...I know what I believe, and what you BELIEVE and why!"

Judging by what you've said so far, I think it highly unlikely that you know anything at all about what we believe or why. Would you like to know so that you don't go jousting at straw men?

You said "...there is no way you question your religion by arguments(there is no facts in the absolute, only faith)..."

First, I don't have a religion. Second, I routinely question my beliefs. Third, I do not knowingly hold any beliefs of consequence by faith--I think that is completely irresponsible. So, I don't think you have idea what I believe.

By the way, Victor, I'll assume that my guesses above were correct unless you state otherwise, okay?

Astreja said...

You have beliefs, Victor? Fine. We not only don't share them; some of us think your beliefs are deleterious to the future of humanity.

And no, you do not know what *I* believe.

We "give you hurts"? How, uh, unfortunate. Save yourself a lot of pain and aggravation, sir. Stop reading and posting at our site. We will not play nice. We will not refrain from annoying people who come here to annoy us.

We will not be silenced.

Buenas noches, seƱor.

AtheistToothFairy said...

Victor wrote:
...and you will know the truth and the truth will make you FREE

Victor,

Does one's believed 'truth' still set one free, when it turns out to be totally FALSE?
Just curious to know your opinion here.

>And is really funny your belief about christians, as I can see, you think every body else (whose have another way of think) is a ignorant

If there is **evidence** to support two opposing viewpoints, then I would never say someone was ignorant for choosing one viewpoint over another. In that case, it would be just a matter of personal opinion.

However, because there is no evidence to support the xtian god/jesus, I think I am justified to hold the opinion that if one is convinced such gods exist, then one holds an opinion based on ignorance.
If a xtian wishes to state that 'god is real' and they also wish to spread that 'good news' to the rest of us, they better be able to back it up with evidence of some kind.
If they have no evidence and still wish to push their views upon the rest of us, then I have every right to challenge them.


> I come from a communist country where atheism is the official religion

And what country would that be, VICTOR?????
I find it odd that you didn't already tell us what country you are from.
Do you think the government will hunt you down if you tell us here where you are from?
I would think if they could find you amongst a vast population, they would already know you posted what you have here.

Why do I get the feeling that you are nothing more than a troll, and not from some communist country either.
Just my 'spider sense' tingling away here is all.


>...and no, my family isn't christians. I know what I believe, and what you BELIEVE and why!

And please tell us how, if your family aren't xtians, but you are, how you came to this xtian knowledge and what made you convert, in such an atheist country?

>what is really peculiar is that's no matter how deep is your knowledge if you don't believe in God, you will think you have all evidence you need to asset that's an absolute truth....(look in the history of atheism or in the brain of a an ignorant atheist farmer(for instance))

Actually you have it all backwards.
It's not us atheist that need evidence to support our position, but rather it is you god believers that need to supply evidence for your god. YOU are the one making the extraordinary claim, not us.
We are perfectly happy to co-exist with nature and have no need to invent something metaphysical, to comfort and reward us.

Frankly, I don't know of any "ignorant atheist farmers" on this website, so it would be hard for me to compare one to an ignorant xtian.
Such a farmer, would in my opinion be right, by default, but without having used intellect to arrive at such an opinion.

>But you know? there is no way you question your religion by arguments(there is no facts in the absolute, only faith) but looking inside your hearts... after God there is not humanity!!! trust me, your god is a cruel one, ask Hitler!!!

Sorry, but what god do I have, that is a cruel one??
Let me make this clear to you, I do not believe in ANY GODS, period!!
Nor would I worship any human as such, just to make that clear to you.

Hitler was worshipped AS a god by some of his followers, but he wasn't a god; although he DID profess to worship your xtian jesus.

As far as looking inside my heart, well, all I see is a muscle pushing around some red blood in there.
Maybe I missed seeing something I should have?

>this does not have sense, because you only see what you want, tha's no matter if you find evidence, you will have an "excuse" I mean, an "explanation", Right? so go and worship your blind St Chances in peace, only let us do the same whit "our" God and creator... please do not annoy other people because they want to say and allow all to scatter its thoughts in FREEDOM

You say, I only see what I want???
Now that statement is exactly backwards of reality.

It is you sir, who have deluded your mind with what you WANT to believe, over reality.
For myself, and many others here, we tried hard to believe in your god at one time, but we woke up and realized there is ZERO evidence to show your god or jesus, exist.

Other than feeling your god inside your own mind, can you show us ANY evidence that would support the existence of such a god or jesus?
Surely you don't expect us to shut down our brains and just buy your story on blind faith, now do you?

It's truly humorous Victor, that so many xtians come pouncing in here to spread the news of their god to us, and hundreds have done just that, yet not a single one has provided any evidence of your god, other than their feelings and hearsay stories from the pulpit of their church.

Heck, you have a huge opportunity here Victor, to be the very FIRST to show us your god evidence.
Just think of the reward your god will give you in heaven, for converting all the lost souls on this webiste.
You'll be famous and known throughout all of heaven.
How can you turn down such an offer, Victor?

Meanwhile, I will not be content in sitting back while certain xtains keep trying to brainwash everyone into their faith, or push to teach falsehoods like evolution in our public schools.
I also would NEVER want to see a leader of our country, taking his/her order from some imaginary god and making policy based on that little god voice.
Nothing could be more frightening than such a scenario!!!

So no Victor, I will not shut my mouth and will continue to 'annoy' xtians who come into our ex-xtian site, such as yourself, VIC-TOR.


ATF (Who is betting Vic won't tell us what country he comes from, or if he does, will refuse to answer specific questions about that country to prove he's not just a local troll)

stronger now said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stronger now said...

Victor must be a troll. Anyone that cannot see his own hypocrisy in telling us to stop posting our "beliefs" and "let" others believe as they wish has got to be a troll. As if this one website was keeping people from the truth. As if we are not allowed to "believe" as we wish.

To victor I'd must remind him that the bible say's he's supposed to submit to whatever governmental authority decides is best for him.

Romans 13:1"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."


So if his original country wanted him to stay put and think there was no god then he is going against god's will by believeing in one. It seems that it's god's will for him to burn in hell.

But that only applies if he's not a lying troll. Oh! Wait...I almost forgot. Lying is a sin as well. Looks like it's a pitchfork in the ass and slow roasting for ol' Victor after all.

Victor said...

Hey! friends I actually have a lot of atheist fellows in my country and no one of then is so uneducated, but always is good to hear you, people with passion have a remanent(I don't know how to say that) of God in them... Certainly I don't want to annoy you, but this here was a little bored, and you was seem to need some body to fight. About that verse, you know the answer. (By the way have you read something that chalenge your "knowledge" seriously?)
But guys, this was for funny, I know that you you don't play nice, or fair, or clean, and one day your god will come, and we wont be here to stop you, sure... you will see.
Right now I want you to know that as a christian I really love you, and Im sure most of you are (as my friends in Cuba, a sad place) really brilliant and I can say good people, because I know what you do comes from you desire of goodness (sorry I dont know what I'm saying, I'm just learning English) The bible said " those who are search they will found", only be sincere, and open minded, you know God do not want people to go Hell... He loves you (as I think) And of course I love you, and every man in earth.
thank you guys!
GBU!
Victor Diaz M

Victor said...

UH! sorry
a mean Searching
and I forgot to say that you are better believers than a lot in churches. I really admire people with enthusiasm over his beliefs or thoughts (as you want), The kingdom of heaven is for good fierce people(not for boring ones), and I can see a lot of bored guys in churches today, at least you are honest(I mean you aren't hide or .. or believers by halves, you are fighting for what you believe is truth, (you love the consequences)) most people in churches aren't fighting that well
thank you again fellows and
may St Chances make you lucky!
Your friend Vic