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9/12/2008                                                                                       View Comments

Verbal Smack-Down With a Fundy

By SConner

This is for any Exchristian out there, who are proverbially, gagged and can't -- for whatever reason -- verbally speak out or lash out, not being able to vent your frustrations at Christian co-workers, relatives or neighbors, because it would be "politically incorrect" or "intolerant of their views" (Making broad gesturing air quotes for hyperbolic effect).

I happily, submit this rant for your vicarious, pleasure.

For those who don't know, I attend Compassionate Friends meetings; it is a self help organization that administers to parents, who are suffering with unbearable grief, dealing with the death of a child. My son died a year and a half ago from a heart attack, related to leukemia. Recently, after one of the meetings, a person of faith, someone, I had, only, barely, met at another, previous, meeting, came up to me and started to rant about god's word, rattling off scripture and sputtering, asinine claims about creationism, which I countered, all too well, making this guy exclaim, "you're a smart guy". I told him, I didn't believe in his mythology; Jesus or a personal god but I still retained a hope (more, wishful thinking, then anything) that I would see my son, again -- I told him, I didn't need his religion. I could tell by his line of questioning that he had ulterior motives -- he wanted to save me.

As it turns out, he was, indeed, a fundamentalist, delusional, Christian, asshole and after this new meeting, adjourned, he decided he was going to proselytize to me, and in no uncertain terms, he made it clear, to me, that if I did not accept Christ, back into my life, I was destined to be tortured, in the fires of hell, never, to see Connor, again. WTF. As you can imagine, I bared my inner-city, Cleveland, teeth and lashed out at him; verbally assaulting him and slinging profanities, like a surgeon with a battle axe. As far as I'm concerned, he used a terrorist threat against me; a shameful tactic of "guilting me" into submission with fear, by dangling my son's memory and using him as a leveraging tool. I refuse to be intimidated, by the same despicable, threats that formed his delusional beliefs, that make him cower, in fear. I wasn't going to stand there letting him spew his dumb-ass beliefs, down my throat, so I went ballistic. I laid into him with both Gatling guns blazing, berating him, at the top of my lungs. I was, admittedly, belligerent -- rightly so -- and asked him, who the F- he thought he was, for telling me, I'd never see my son again? I went on to tell him, that if he ever proselytized, again, to me, I would knock his Mother F-in' teeth down his F-in' throat, to the chagrin of some of the lingering parents. Noticing the onlookers, he backtracked and claimed he didn't say what he had just told me and that I just wanted to make a scene. This just infuriated me more and I called him a lying sack of shit, stupid-ass, Mother F-er, F-in' ignorant, asshole and continued to bombard him with vulgar language, leaving him stunned, and physical gulping.

He -- being, completely, delusional and oblivious, to how detrimental, his words were -- has nothing to offer me, except ignorance (willful stupidity) and dumb-ass superstition. I'm completely, unapologetic and feel zero remorse, for lashing out at him. In fact, it was cathartic, I, honestly, feel good about it; I don't regret one word, I said to him and would do it all over, again, in a second. Hopefully, the "clue by four", ("clue by four saying" credited to Astreja) I smacked him with, will sink in and he won't confront me with his religious, proselytizing, bullshit, ever, again. Maybe, just maybe, if we're lucky, he'll think twice, before proselytizing to someone, else. At least, perhaps, I created an aversion for him, to engage a 6' 2" 280 pound, educated, man, with a full beard, who's bark, can be just as bad as his bite. I don't care what people believe, they can believe in whatever bullshit they want, but I sure as hell won't let them cram their delusional, shit down my throat, specifically, the way he did it. Muzzle that vomit and keep it to yourself.

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