10/06/2008                                                                                       View Comments

An Open Letter to My Former Church Leaders

By Neal Stone

Dear Christian Leaders,

For 20 plus years I lived a miserable life. A life of dead end jobs that went nowhere, living with my parents well into my 30s, no seeking school or paid-for training programs unless they were Christ-based, because seeking a career was selfish and not a godly desire. Not seeking a mate or dating because I was to focus only on the Lord and he would provide if it was his will.

My life was a mess and quite lonely. But that was OK with you, because I was serving the Lord and that was all that mattered. You didn't care about my life being a dud just as long as I was serving Jesus.

For nearly a quarter of a century my life meant nothing and went nowhere because of the advice and guidance I got from you. I tried to find this will of God and was often left with no answers and no direction, empty. I really thought what you taught me was right and the truth and that you really knew what was right for me. So I continued to follow your advice and guidance and continued to waste my life on your ideals. I was even OK and often excited because I thought there was really a plan for my life. Little did I know it was your plan and not God's.

If I stopped for even a moment and questioned your advice or refused to follow it, I was hit with the ever famous “Don't you want to do the right thing?” speech followed by your condescending smirk in an attempt to make me feel guilty. Often it worked and I would continue on with your agenda.

I cried out for God nightly for a sign and a direction for my life. I asked you for direction and it was always “Serve the Lord... We have a opening in Sunday School.”

Once when I was unemployed, confused and uncertain about my life, you put your hand on my head and tried to get me to speak in tongues. What the f...???? What did that have to do with anything? Was this supposed to help me get a job or get direction in my life?

I spent my life with a heavy guilt. If I did something as simple as think of my own needs once in a while like going to school for something not Christian related. I spent my life alone and frustrated at my lack of peers to hang out with.

You nearly destroyed my life. Holding me back from the great potential that was there for me. All because of a personal agenda you called “God's Will”. In fact it was your will and ideals that I was following.

So to my former Christian leaders I saw this, FUCK YOU! Yes you heard me right. You feed on the young, naive and insecure because they are so easily molded to your ideals. How dare you! How dare you take such potential out of people just so you can see your own ideals and wishes played out and then call it God's Will.

How many people must sit and watch life go by because of you? How many families and lives destroyed because of you?

You stand there on your pulpits and actually admit to molding young minds to “God's Will.” How can you live with yourselves knowing what you are doing to these people?

I am so glad I woke up to the truth of what you are doing. Count me as one less under your thumb. I am free of you. I was once one of your servants and now am your mortal enemy. Fear me, as I know what you are, what you teach and your tactics. I know you well. Fear me as I will make it my personal mission to share real freedom and enlighten people about what is really going on.

What really bugs me the most is that if you looked at my life now, with direction, great job, great home and married with a great wife and life, you would be disappointed in because I didn't get it God's way or by following his (your) will.

You would accuse me of being rebellious because I won't agree with you or let you control me. What's the matter? Can't handle a free thinker? Sucks when someone doesn't agree with your agenda doesn't it?

No more will I sit by and watch as you take people and destroy and their lives and families. I am drawing the line in the sand. Cross it if you dare. I will share my story of what you have done to my life and the lives of others I have known.

Pastors, church leaders I have this one last thing to say. Shame on you. Shame on you for the way to take advantage of people to the point they will sacrifice everything for you.

You can not have my life ever again. I AM FREE!!! Not you, ME! I am no longer afraid!

The line is drawn. LET'S ROCK!!!!

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18 comments:

webmdave said...

I found this article by mistake and I am sorry for your pain, but I can hear you. Unfortunately, church today has nothing to do what God had in his mind what would be HIS will. Church today is more man made, pastors building their own kingdoms and not God's kingdom. Please and hope you didn't give up on God, he is real and loving. The problem is churches as institution today don't challenge and encourage people to get to know God personally and to get to know God's will for their own personal life...it's rather a way many church leaders, pastors make their way sound like is God's.

Come and join us at http://www.work-in-progress-online.com where you can be honest and real about faith and God and Christianity.

webmdave said...

Work,....The real problem here, is that nearly every single person here WAS a real christian. 100%. We have many EX- Pastors on this site ! If I had a dime for every christian who came on here saying that we shouldn't give up on god and/ or we never really knew god or never were REAL christians, I would be a rich woman.

The reason we are here, supporting each other, is the fact that we got to "know" your god very well, or should I say we got to know of his non-existence. You think that we have left the faith because of the man-made church, the man-made doctrine, the hypocritical clergy.......No !.......That may have had a tiny hand in it, but we readers, investigators, searchers, delvers and people with both eyes clearly forward have not come to this conclusion in an instant.

There are many good, kind-hearted, wise and very intelligent people on this site, people from every walk of life. Thinking people.
You have given us a website, allow me to give you some reading material that you can ponder =

"Letter To A Christian Nation" by Sam Harris (tiny book, 93 pages)
"Losing Faith in Faith" by Dan Barker (A former PASTOR)
"The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins (my favorite book)

W I P,....we were all "good christians" here, and we know how that works. 1 = don't read anything outside of religious doctrine
........... 2= don't trust Science ( except perhaps the weatherman)
........... 3= if thoughts of doubting "god's" existence come to mind,
.................pray a lot, and wash out "satan's" intrusion into our mind

Gee, I could truly go on & on.....but I've got to get dinner started...
Please read one of the books I recommended. I've read the bible
2 1/2 times ( OT, twice and NT, 3 times )....that's only skimming the surface compared to many of the others on here.
In parting =
"All thinking men are Atheists"...Ernest Hemingway

webmdave said...

I wonder how long it would take for us to get booted off her recommended website. I can REALLY see them accepting our views on christinsanity. NOT! We'd get banned in record time. Or our blasphemous words could burn up their server.... now that's an idea........ LOL

Actually, I'd probably have a headache in two minutes if all their regular posters sound like our newest guest.

webmdave said...

Unfortunately, church today has nothing to do what God had in his mind what would be HIS will. Church today is more man made, pastors building their own kingdoms and not God's kingdom.

...and your authority for this statement is...?

Guys, I think we have another one.

Is it open season, or what?

Mind you, the schools broke up for summer over here recently - there could be an awful lot of bored children about at the moment (or their teachers, of course).

webmdave said...

I wonder how long it would take for us to get booted off her recommended website.

Perhaps we should go and find out just how long...and also the extent to which they have been blessed with that fruit of the holy spirit, forebearance.

webmdave said...

B P,....Agreed. We would probably last one paragraph. Then they would have visions of satan coming thru the inter-webs via we heathens, poisoning their blessed, nearer my god to thee site....
Then Ka-Bam !.........no thinking or opinions exchanged, thank-you !

webmdave said...

I AM being real about god and christ-inanity, you arrogant f**k. I have given to your pretend god too much of my life already and f**k me running if I am going to go back to that mental prison to endure the constant mental and emotional abuse that makes your religion work. I have better things to do with my life than be brainwashed into thinking I am a sinful, filthy, damnable person just because I have to squat to piss.

I am not going to listen to anyone who claims they know what GOD wants because it ALWAYS coincides with what THEY happen to want, and that is just a little TOO convenient for comfort. If god is real and if god wants me to do something then he can get up off his ass come tell me his damned self.

Get lost and peddle your snake-oil religion elsewhere. No one here is buying.

webmdave said...

Around here it is much like the bible when it comes to the weatherman. You must read/watch several of the prophets of the atmospheric sciences, decide which pieces fit together best and then make your own version out of the weather reports. The conflicting information given about wind speeds, possibilities of rain/thunderstorm activity/amount of snow has to be factored into your own personal beliefs about the weather in your area. Of course, at least you can complain when the meteorologist gets it wrong again.

Unlike the Lord where you are to be happy in all things. Thank you Lord for allowing my goat to eat a ball of string and dying. I am sure that this is working together for all things that are in your great and mighty plan.

webmdave said...

I think most of them are not children. They only sound like children because they haven't allowed their minds to expand in the last 10 years to twenty years. For some it may be even longer.

webmdave said...

They put your post up. Of course it is a small fish in a sea of comments about the greatness of god and their petty hearts and how the church today isn't following god's guidelines.

webmdave said...

I tried to leave a comment there also. I never got a confirmation or any kind of response to "send", so I'm not sure if the comment went through... or maybe it went through each of the six times I pressed "send" and got nothing. LOL

webmdave said...

renoliz, Your goat died ?....I'm sorry about that. I love animals & hate to think of them suffering. My youngest Daughter has a flock of sheep, and is thinking of getting 2 "fixed" goats.

Yes, doesn't The Lard take such good care of creatures both large and small ? ?.........Ha ! If he really existed, I'd love to punch him in the face.

webmdave said...

That is so sweet of you to care. Actually that goat died when we were still in IFB church. We are very neat with our strings and have no trash in our yard to speak of. We can only surmise that the string came in on the wings of a large dust devil. The neighbor gave us a half brother to replace him.

I would like to punch god in the face, too. However, that is impossible since he doesn't exist.

Our goats are wethers, meaning fixed males, of course. We have three. A large Nubian/Boer cross and two cute little Nigerian dwarfs. We got three because I said they are herd animals and three is a herd. Two means they have each other. I think they might be lonely if there was only one of them.

They eat all the garden left overs every fall [except stuff like tomato plants and potato plants and pepper plants whcih would not be good for them]. Stuff like corn stalks, bean plants and squash vines once they are done producing. They have lots of personality. Hubby says they have way more personality than sheep. He grew up on a sheep ranch.

webmdave said...

If anyone could plant some seeds of truth on that website, it's you!

My comment (which addressed the misconception that we leave xtianity because of disappointment with the leaders) still hasn't shown up. Every other website I was on last night worked fine, so I don't know what the problem could have been. Oh well. You planted a seed, and that's what matters.

webmdave said...

I left a comment on the WIP site at

http://www.work-in-progress-online.com/church-leadership-dissapointed/77-disappointed-in-church-leaders.html

It has not been through moderation yet.

It was not rude, but the opinion I expressed will not be in keeping with their doctrine. We shall see.

I used the same screen name there as here and have little hope of it appearing.

webmdave said...

renoliz, Your goat died ?....I'm sorry about that. I love animals & hate to think of them suffering. My youngest Daughter has a flock of sheep, and is thinking of getting 2 "fixed" goats.

Yes, doesn't The Lard take such good care of creatures both large and small ? ?.........Ha ! If he really existed, I'd love to punch him in the face.

webmdave said...

My comment has appeared as well as a response from somebody who googled the Council of Nicea as a result and found some "interesting stuff" there.

webmdave said...

My comment has appeared as well as a response from somebody who googled the Council of Nicea as a result and found some "interesting stuff" there.