9/29/2008                                                                                       View Comments

The Prodigal Son is one of the stupidest stories in the Bible

By Neal Stone

We've all heard the story of the Prodigal Son. The story goes that one of two sons decides he deserves his inheritance before his father passes away and goes out into the world and blows it all and ends up living with pigs.

He finally returns home to his father, and family. Does he get rebuked? Does he get punished or at least an “I told you so.” No! He gets a party. The best food in fact is used at his party.

As for the good son who stayed home and honored and supported his father? He got squat.

I feel that the prodigal son should have a different ending. We are told this is how salvation works. So that when we return to God he celebrates.

I disagree. I think this is one of the most f'ed-up stories of the Bible. A story where a major brat is rewarded for disobedience and arrogance. Meanwhile, the good son gets screwed for being faithful and good to his family and father.

You see, I have a personal issue with this story. I am “the good son”. I was the one who stayed home and supported my parents when my siblings moved out and rebelled. I put my life aside and my desires aside so I could “do the right thing” (God, I hate that phrase).

The only difference was my step-dad acted as if he hated my family so never threw them a party nor did they return home.

I did right by what I was taught, and did I get a party? Did I get rewarded? No, I got to sit back and watch life slide right past me. I got to watch as I spent my life in dead end jobs, poor health, and living in poor conditions -- living on the scraps as they were tossed to me so to speak.

It wasn't till 33 yrs old that I finally started to make some headway in my life and take control. It was a hard journey and a painful one. I would fall flat on my face a few times as I tried to find out who I was and what life meant to me.

The Prodigal Son is one of the stupidest stories in the Bible. It contradicts punishment for evil and reward for good. All these years of hearing how God was going to bless and reward me. Of course it wouldn't be till I got to heaven to get this reward.

I have no problem helping someone, but its me and mine first and the rest as I see fit and if I am able to do so without harming my life. Of course there are exceptions where I will risk my life, but it has to be really worth it.

I never got to live and do a lot of things before I made my life changes. I never got to go out and really enjoy life until these last eight years with my wife. My wife is disappointed that I'm not the spiritual Christian she had hoped to find, but then she doesn't really understand all about what I have gone through. But at least my life is better and hey, I still am a good boy... Well... Sometimes. :)

Think about this: While the prodigal son was out living it up, where was the good son? He was at home supporting his dad and being there for his dad. You know the father was in anguish because of the bad son. You know the good son probably hugged and encouraged his father as needed. He probably said “I'm here for you father”. No, it's more like, “Gee, thanks dad! And to think I was here for you all this time!” I really feel for the good son and understand his frustration on how things went in the end. Lets face it, he got ripped off!

I feel that the prodigal son should have a different ending. Here it is:

And when he returned home his father kicked his ass and made him servant to his brother who did the right thing. He was sent to his room with no supper while a major party was thrown for the good son as a reward for his faithfulness. He then would forever be a servant of the family never to receive any inheritance from his father or family and would forever live in shame for what he had done.

THE END



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9/28/2008                                                                                       View Comments

An Open Letter to America's Pastors

Say What You Will, But Pay Your Own Way

By Brother Sam

I’m writing this on Friday, September 25, 221 years to the day from the First Amendment’s passage by Congress. That same amendment not only proscribes the government from telling preachers what they can say from behind the pulpit, but also prohibits the establishment of an official state religion. (Note to theists: If there's ever a state religion, it probably won’t be the one you have in mind.)

This Sunday, right-wing pastors across the country, having been in close communication with the Heavenly Hosts, will confer god’s own endorsement on John “the Baptist” McCain and renounce Barack Obama as an agent of the devil. No shit. They’re gonna do that. And Brother Sam says God bless ‘em. They have every right to say any stupid shit they like. And what they do in the privacy of their own loony bins is their own business, so long as it’s all between consenting adults and they leave the children out of it.

It’s time for churches to render up. Let’s have no more talk of what you can or can’t say from the pulpit.The catch is, that in so doing they’ll be flouting the law. Now, normally these guys have a stiffy for the law. Since I was a child I’ve heard Matthew 22, “Render unto Caesar—” repeated endlessly, a catch-all command to obey the law of the land.

“Why is it a sin to use marijuana?”

“Because it’s against the law. Render unto Caesar.”

I’ve always asked, what happens when the law of the land conflicts with god's law? Not surprisingly, in cases like that, the law of the land gets trumped like an ace of hearts by a two of spades. Turns out preachers, being tight with God, know exactly which laws to blow off.

The particular law they mean to flagrantly disobey Sunday goes back to 1954, when Eisenhower (Republican, Kansas) was president and Congress barred tax exempt nonprofits from certain kinds of political activity. The First Amendment was beside the point, since the law’s clear purpose was simply to protect tax-payers from having to involuntarily subsidize political activities and candidates they didn't agree with. Nobody was saying that pastors weren’t free to endorse Lester Maddox or Orval Faubus; they just couldn’t count on their neighbors to pay their portion of the national tab while they did it, least of all the victims of the outrages perpetrated by and at the behest of the likes the above two obscenities along with George Wallace and their churchgoing enablers. That law, now IRC 501(c)(3), was strengthened during the Reagan (Republican, California) Administration. And unlike most of the tax code, it’s so simple that any third grader or Pentecostal can plainly see that it doesn’t put ‘ary a restriction on what anybody can say. You can be a political organization and say anything you like, and pay taxes like everybody else, or you can be a church and weasel out of paying your fair share of taxes, and agree to not carry on like a political organization.

Obviously, a setup like this invites crooks like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, Jr. to front their political organizations as churches and thus shift their own financial responsibilities to their fellow citizens whether or not said citizens want to take them on. And that, to quote Tom Joad, is wronger’n hell.

So, this Sunday, the church rafters will ring with shouts of “Praise John the Baptist,” and “Damn Barack Obama,” as God's Goons set their atrophied little brains to forcing the government’s (that’d be your and my) hand. God assures them that if they'll fabricate a test case, the law firm of Scalia, Thomas and Roberts will take it from there. The tax code will be recast in their image and the rest of us will get to chip in on the care and feeding of likes of Rev. Wiley S. Drake of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, Calif., who said of his planned sermon-cum-hate-filled-harangue, "I'm going to talk about the un-biblical stands that Barack Obama takes. Nobody who follows the Bible can vote for him." (see LA Times, September 25, 2008)

It’s time for churches to render up. Let’s have no more talk of what you can or can’t say from the pulpit. I do not care. Go ahead. Say anything. Just pay your taxes.

9/26/2008                                                                                       View Comments

9/24/2008                                                                                       View Comments

God Rot

By Gary W

"Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the word of god. It is a history of wickedness, that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel." -- Thomas Paine


First blind assumption: There is a god and this god is self-conscious, hereinafter called god.

Second blind assumption: There is a devil and this devil is self-conscious, hereinafter called the devil.


Logically, the devil would have to be the antithesis of god, and likewise god would be the antithesis of the devil. (Both are male of course, women are not allowed the status of god or devil hood in the Christian religion.) Now the devil, being the antithesis of god, is actively engaged in destroying everything sacred to god. But god is above the devil's rot and does not condescend to lift a finger to stop him.

So we have two irreconcilable forces, one ferociously intent on destroying god and all that is sacred to him and god not giving a stuff, content to sit back and let the devil do as he likes. Consequently we have gods devil being the devil and the devils devil being god. Both utterly convinced of their omnipotence but diametrically opposed.

The devil is the god of realization unto himself, representing all things so called bad, evil, dirty, and nasty. However in his realization he is not bad, evil etc, he is just doing what he does best and to him if he does it well it is all fine. So good is simply a matter of perception and cannot exist without its counterpart bad, evil, dirty etc. So if all was evil and so called good did not exist all would still be considered to be good (or just the way it is) because there would be nothing to compare it with, no point of reference. Further we can say that so called good is evil is good is evil depending on your perception, (good is only a relative term).

The devil justifies the existence of god, for without the devil there would be no so called evil [everything would be automatically good], conversely god justifies the existence of the devil, so it seems that each relies on the existence of the other to substantiate their own existence, a genuine yin yang relationship. So we can say that each cannot exist without the other, further, that each gives reality to the other, so that the two are really halve of a whole. We have two halves, which although irreconcilable are inseparable, together they make a whole, but we don’t have two we have three, a Trinity. Since each is self conscious outside of the union with the other, two positives don’t negate each other. So the two are one in the sense of their mutual interdependence but they are three in the sense of the result of that union. But what is the third state, a state beyond good and evil or a state of good and evil simultaneously?

The devil does have a predilection to cross dressing though, many a woman has been called a she devil or Jezebel, but don’t be fooled, the devil is a very sneaky evil man that you can’t see, you don’t even realise he’s there until you have murdered someone or bombed the shit out of a peaceful village, then it hits you, oh shit, did I do that, no couldn’t be, it was the devil not me, I was just his tool and the devil is pretty handy with a tool. He’s just like god though, being omnipresent, but considered to be just a tad shy of omniscient in a nasty way, but it’s photo finish for omnipotent and the jury is still out and could be for a while yet unless the Christians manage to bring on Armageddon. The final solution, the ultimate world heavy weight bout where god is expected to take the title and be the undisputed holder of the big three “omni’s”, the devils squashed like a bug and after which all gods true believers party on for 1,000 years until the rematch.

HEAVEN

Now the devil actively works at making me evil and god doesn’t seem to care too much, he doesn’t even try to stop me being evil. Seems as though there is gross imbalance of force being applied here, The devil positively active, busting his arse to make me evil but god is passive, simply basking in his omnipotence not really giving a stuff what anyone does, god doesn’t see the need to soil himself with human affairs [too busy counting falling sparrows] but the devil works like a Trojan to stuff things up, god does seem to be just a bit lazy. This gets better, we are told that if we be good we will go to heaven where everyone is happy and everything is nice, [presumably the devil has been excluded from heaven]. So everything is good and nice in heaven but how do they know it’s good and nice, because there is no evil, no point of reference, nothing to compare with, it’s just all nice, and besides that what does everyone do.

Seems like the competition to be nicer than nice would be ferocious, after just laying around with the lions for a while and patting the hyenas then picking a bit of fruit all the while trying to work out how to be nicer than the other fellow would get a bit boring. But it would be nice friendly competition, “damn Fred you were nice today but tomorrow I’m going to be kick arse nice, you don’t stand a chance”. Well bring it on Charlie I can whip your arse at nice with both hands tied behind my back, just watch me and weep. That will be nice Fred, see you tomorrow. But where is heaven, no one seems to quite know where it is even though it’s a real place and presumably millions of righteous Christians have already gone there.

HELL

In the beginning god created everything and so he must have created hell, evil and the devil as well, Christians have no doubt of hells existence, it is a real place and they live in mortal fear of it. Hell needed a manager so god created the devil to keep things running, organize the furnace stockers, whip hands, torturers, thumb screw operators etc.

Now this is where it gets ugly, be bad, evil etc and your arse is grass, you’re off to hell. This is where everything goes wrong, where your wife did screw the plumber that came to fix the leaking tap, where you put your hand up her dress and found a pair of nuts, where the marks on your daughters arm are not mosquito bites, where, where it was your neighbor going over the back fence just as you got home, where the wife asks if its in yet, where the boss makes you blow him for a pay rise, where the secretary wanted to screw you in the back room and you got your dick caught in your zip, and so are the wages of sin, definitely not a nice place to be.

But there is hope, I am told that Jesus died for my sins 2,000 years ago because he knew what an evil son of a bitch I was going to be in 2,007, he died for me and everyone, past present and future and I’ll never have to worry about sinning again. Now that makes sense, I can do whatever I like because Jesus died for me., and I didn’t even have to ask him. In contemporary terms this is the deal of a life time, the triple-decker Big Mac with cheese and mayo, double fries, cheesecake and ice cream with a gallon of coke value meal deal. See religion is not hard to understand, be good and you’ll go to heaven where everything is nice. Be bad and you’re screwed, everything will go wrong. But I suppose it all is just a matter of what you perceive as good or bad. Hell must be heaven for the bad, but heaven nevertheless, so heaven is simply a relative term defining a state of consciousness not a place. If so heaven and hell have no substantial reality are simply formless mental abstractions. But once again, where is hell, no one seems to quite know where it is, no one has seen it or been there and back to verify it’s existence but it is nevertheless a real place with a huge lake [albeit fire], just ask a devoted Christian.

OLD TESTAMENT

With great trepidation we now venture into the old testament, the description of the beginning of the all of everything, where god made everything out of nothing in six days but we aren’t told what he was doing before the first day or after the seventh day, if he was omnipotent why didn’t he just make it in a flash, wham bam and it’s there, instead of tooling around for six days, just how omnipotent was he if he needed a rest after six days work, was he tired, did he need a sleep, sounds a bit human to me. I suppose creating worlds does take it out of one, it’s not like one does it every day. God must have been bored, sitting around for eternity after eternity, in utter nothingness, (nothing to do because there was nothing at all to do anything with)so he decided to have a few laughs build a world and watch the silly fucking humans systematically destroy each other and the place they live in. Presumably this was the first world god had created and he did make bit of a botch of it. He’s probably been getting a bit of practice in other solar systems and has got it down pat now. The Old Testament happened in a time when the laws of all scientific disciplines were contravened wholesale. This was a time and place where men were simply made from dirt, like mud pies one assumes, and women were made out of men’s ribs, (god took a rib out of Adam, made eve and put the rib back), snakes walked and talked, where trees knew the difference between good and evil and even had knowledge although we aren’t told what sort of knowledge and amazingly food fell out of the sky, Pi equaled 3.. All of the animals were just there and simply required naming, although one wonders why the animals needed naming, didn’t they know they were what they were, were they wondering around in a state of confusion, thinking, “I just don’t know what I am”.. Were the giraffes trying to fuck the swans or were the elephants trying to get their ends into the orangutans, what crap?

This was where you could become god (knowing good and evil) if you ate from a special tree in the midst of the garden and if you also ate of the tree of life then you could live and walk around in the nude forever. So why didn’t those two poor simple saps that god made just eat from the tree of life and save themselves a whole lot of trouble and become gods straight up. Mankind has been kicked in the arse for Adam and Eve’s stupidity ever since. Eve gives Adam the forbidden fruit, not forced, coerced, not shoved down his neck, he simply took it and ate it. God questions eve, “What is this you have done?”, but Eve’s not taking the wrap, “The snake deceived me and I ate.” So god says to the snake, (snakes could understand spoken language then) snake, because you tricked eve into eating the forbidden fruit, she and Adam now know that I am a bullshit artist because I told them they would die if they ate the fruit. So god condemns the snake to slither around on its belly (as snakes tend to do) and eat dust (did the snake then shit rocks), and so the snake is not allowed to walk around and talk to people anymore, he/she is choked up on dust.

God apparently forgot to give Adam a spine because as soon is god is up him for the rent about eating the forbidden fruit, Adam’s remonstrating, nay, nay, nay, not me, not guilty, that cow of a woman (he wasn’t sure of the names of all the animals) made me do it, you know she’s the mother of all mothers, I didn’t want to, she forced me, she said, eat this pecker head. So I says, yes dear, whatever you say dear, it’ll bring down the whole fucking human race and condemn it to hell and damnation before it even gets started, but I’ll do it right now dear. Bullshit, says god, and he’s thinking, this woman is a sneaky bitch and this lying prick of a man is as weak as piss, I don’t believe it, I’ve created a soft cock, what am I going to do with this dumb arsehole, but blokes are blokes and they have to stick together, god’s thinking, I made him first, he’s a gutless tool but he’s my main man so lets blame the bitch and everyone else has been laying it on eve ever since.

So after that they didn’t walk around in the nude anymore, they didn’t know they had naughty bits before that were not allowed to be looked at, but their eyes had been opened, Adam’s walking around with a hard on all day and eves wet as hell so they cover up with some leaves. Adam’s royally pissed off now so whacks her one and bruises her head, she’s bitching something terrible, has a swipe at him and bruises his heel. So now your sole purpose will be churning out babies, and it will be painful for you, god says to eve and when you want jiggy jig real bad it’ll be my man here deciding if and when you get it. But eve had not had any babies so how could she know what having a baby was let alone that it might be painful, more crap. Adam’s never laid a woman before [fully grown, mature man, one or two week old virgin, eve’s the same], but he’s a hell of quick learner, works out what that that meat hanging from his stomach has better uses than for pissing through, and next thing he’s got eves fig leaf down around her ankles, fortunately eve’s a quick learner to and they are into it. Eve conceives and gets the human race started by having two sons in rapid succession, Cain and Able, [and they weren’t even married, for shame]. God then says” behold the man has become like one of us, to know good and evil “. Here we have gods plural, how many other gods, 2, 3, 487 or was it just god and missus god, or god and Zeus. To be god or one of the gods you have to know good and evil and as is written in the Old Testament, god was very well acquainted with evil; some of the atrocities he pulled of personally or instigated put modern despots to shame.

But how great was this god, he couldn’t even create two human beings that would obey him, he created Adam and eve and before he could blink they are disobeying him, he created a pair of duds, a pair of idiots that couldn’t do what they were told. They only had one law to obey and they were to dumb to do that, a pair of retards. The perfect creator created two disobedient fools. Things go downhill from here, Cain was a vegetable grower and god reckoned Cain couldn’t grow vegetable for shit, [must have had grubs in them], Abel’s a shepherds and shepherds are cool god loving dudes and god thought Abel’s lamb tasted mighty fine. Seems Abel was able but Cain couldn’t. Now Cain gets severely pissed off because god said his veggies were no good and kills Abel, [murdering your brother was a minor offence in those days] so god throws Cain out of the garden. Now it gets weird, Cain is worried that anyone who finds him will kill but supposedly there are only two other humans around, Adam and eve, so who was he afraid of. All of a sudden Cain’s finds a wife, she simply materializes out of thin air, she conceives and bares Enoch. Cain then builds a city, presumably by himself, since the earth is uninhabited [no cheap Filipino labor around], digs it right out of the ground, knocks up a few apartments, get in early in the property market. I’ve had it explained to me that Cain’s wife might have been his sister, they forgot to mention that Eve had other children besides Cain and Abel. Now it gets wild, Cain’s has five sons, Enoch miraculously fathers a child, Irad the same, Mehujeal the same, Methushael the same. But Lamech is a stud and does the right thing and marries two wives [apparently two wives was kosher then], and all of these wives have spontaneously materialized out of the ether.

We either have a generation or so between these begettings of children and they are coupling with their cousins or Eve has been flat out producing child bearers for all of them and they are coupling with their aunties. Here we have “keeping it in the family taken to the Nth degree”. Interestingly the bible says “Cain knew his wife”, were they married, however Enoch, Irad, Mehujeal, Methusheal simply begat children and were just spreading wild oats.

Let’s assume Eve bore more daughters after Abel, Cain marries, no potential wives around except Eve or his younger sisters. Now Cain’s wife bore Enoch, Enoch fathers a child [no mention of marriage], so Enoch would have to have had a child with Eve, one of Eve’s daughters or one of his younger sisters, [assuming Cain’s wife had daughters as well]l, or one of his brothers daughters. Enoch fathers Irad, Irad is lucky, there are a few women around by now to choose from, he can have either one of his younger sisters, one of Cain’s wife’s daughters, one of his other brothers daughters, one of Eves daughters or Eve but Eve is getting a bit long in the tooth by now so it was probably one of his younger sisters, you know, might as well father a child with someone you know reasonably well.

And so the madness goes, I’ve even been told that Eve was Cain’s wife, it was fine then since they were so genetically pure in those days it was ok to have children with your mother. No doubt Adam was getting stuck into his and everyone else’s daughters as well, doing his bit to populate the earth, spreading his genetic purity around. Sexual immorality [incest] in the contemporary sense has no meaning when you are kicking off a human race, just get fucking with whoever is around, copulate, populate. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with humankind, we are all the degenerate descendants of incestuous deviates Anyway after all of this god just seemed to go away, except for having a few words to Noah and Moses, after which he doesn’t seem to be around much. Maybe god was a pit pissed off at him/her self at not being able to make a perfect world straight up, as we will see, his first go at it was a disaster so he wipe the slate clean except for a few humans and lets them have another go at it, but before you can blink they are fornicating like rabbits on speed and generally trying to wipe each other of the face of the earth.

MOSES

Moses was a murder and fugitive chosen by our kind, loving and merciful god to lead the Israelites out of Egyptian captivity, [excellent credentials]. God couldn’t just have had quiet omnipotent word with the pharaoh, just let the Israelites go peacefully and nobody gets hurt, no, he visits ten plagues on them in which who knows how many died, but this is ok, gods are allowed to go around and wipe out whoever they like. God supposedly created a world but he couldn’t convince the pharaoh to let the Israelites go. After god has given the Egyptians a thorough thrashing the Israelites all 600,000 men plus women and children (somewhere between 1 and 2 million) are allowed to wonder around the desert for 430 years and look for some land to grab.

NOAH

Now we come to Noah, this is where faith is given the acid test, is tested to it’s furthest outer limits, anyone who can believe this story deserves “The Medal of Infinite Faith ” for great faith above and beyond the call of Christian duty. This is the real deal, if you don’t believe this one you don’t cut the mustard, but apparently it’s no problem for the dedicated Christian to swallow. One hesitates to even try to get ones head around the Noah story but in our relentless quest for understanding we must boldly venture forward.
God despised everything he had created, human and animal except Noah, his wife and his sons, Shem, Ham, Japhet and their wives and so decides to wipe the slate clean and start again. Our great creator screwed up bad and created a bunch of murderous land grabbing sex maniacs so they had to get the chop. Then god made it rain for 40 days and nights and the whole of the earth is covered with water, one presumes Mount Everest as well, so this water covered the earth at a depth of at least 8.5 kilometers. There isn’t enough water on earth to cover the earth to that depth, since water finds its own level the diameter of the earth with that covering of water had to have increased by 17 Klms, but I suppose god created all the water he needed then made it disappear later. But before this god tells Noah to build a small ship and put himself his wife, his family and all of the animals in it. This ark or small ship as we would call it today is 300 cubits by 50 cubits wide and 30 cubits high. Lets say a cubit is 18 inches (about 250mm) this small ship is 450 feet (135 meters) long, 75 feet (22.5 meters) wide and 45 feet (13.5 meters) high (actually estimated to be 480 feet long). Noah obviously was a skilled shipwright and had access to a forest of Gopher wood, timber cutters, timber haulers, sawmillers, foundries for nails which obviously must have been near by. 6,000 tons is a reasonable rough estimate of timber required to build a small wooden ship this length, how did Noah handle the logistics since there is no mention of an army of workers. 6,000 tons of logs would keep a modern sawmill busy for a couple of years.

The laying of the keel of any ship is the foundation of the whole structure, how did Noah lay 450 feet of keel (half the length of the Titanic, one and a half football fields), apparently by himself without the lifting gear, without structural steel, without the fasteners we have today, lets say Noah had access to logs 50 foot long (possibly 6 to 8 tons each), he had to join 9 of these into an absolutely rigid platform for the rest of the ship to be built on, not to mention the rest of the planking, 3 decks, ribbing and internal structure of the ship and enclosures for the animals. You can’t just build a rectangular box as a small ship, a rectangular box is structurally unsound and requires extensive bracing (steel) to hold it together. How many tons of pitch did he need to seal the hull, how many tons of nails (no screws then), bolts etc (no bolts then either), did he need to hold the thing together, but ask any shipwright about building a 450 foot wooden ship and they will laugh at you. Noah did not build such a small ship.

The longest wooden ship ever built (i.e. historically verified) was the USS Wyoming. This vessel, which was, at 110 meters long, 25 meters shorter than Noah’s ark, was found to be so unstable that it could only be used for short coastal hauls to avoid rough conditions further out to sea. The huge structural stresses that developed in the USS Wyoming made the ship sag and leak badly. Water thus had to be pumped out continuously to prevent the ship from sinking.

Now we come to another insurmountable intellectual problem, how did Noah collect all of the pairs of animals, from the African ostrich to the Andean alpaca the Tasmanian devil, the Antarctic an albatross, the American bald eagle, the South American jaguar, the Galapagos Island tortoise, the Chinese Panda, the arctic goose, the Siberian tiger, the Antarctican penguins. Noah must have been something of a sailor himself to do a world circumnavigation single handed, not to mention catching all the animals, storing food for these animals, presumably fresh meat for the carnivores, hay, grass for the cows, bison, elephants, hippopotamuses, wildebeests, buffalos, sheep, goats and kangaroos, seeds, berries, insects for the birds and rodents, insects for bats, white ants for the ant eaters and echidnas, fresh flowers for the bees and butterflies, fresh fruit and leaves for the monkeys and possums, rotten meat for the parasites, worms, maggots and bacteria, bamboo shoots for the pandas, lichen and moss for the arctic reindeers, seal meat for the polar bears, ice to keep the polar bears cool, rats, mice, frogs for the snakes, to mention only a few specific dietary requirements for specific animals. Elephants eat at least 150kg of vegetable matter a day, 10 months supply for two elephants is 90 tons.

Either Noah had another ship as large as the one he built while collecting animals or he made a lot of trips to a lot of places with a smaller ship. Unfortunately a lot of animals with short life spans would have died waiting for Noah to finish his ship so he would have had to make more trips to collect these animals, maybe they breed in captivity or maybe he left them till last and did a lightening circumnavigation and rounded them up just before it stared raining. How were the animals restrained, before and during the voyage, between 1.5 to 2 million species of animals in a volume of 450 x 75 x 45 feet, what a fucking madhouse, everything trying to eat everything else, actually, what a crock of shit, it did not happen, it could not happen.

How long did it take to build his small ship and who if not Noah was out rounding up Bengali tigers and South American boa constrictors. Lets be generous and give Noah 5 years to build his ship, to round up all the animals another 2 years (actually 7 days is stated in the bible), now where did he keep the animals he had already caught while he is out catching more, who fed and watered them, you know, bamboo shoots to feed the Pandas are bit scarce in the holy land, the logistic are simply mind numbing. This small ship floated around for nearly 10 months with Noah and his family feeding and watering 1.5 to 2 million species of animals in volume of 40 to 50,000 cubic meters, all of the excreta was carried up and thrown out of one window. Apparently no animals died or ate each other during this voyage.

So Noah’s small ship comes to rest and presumably Noah lets all the animals go, but there is nothing for them to eat except maybe some dried out seaweed and the carnivores politely refrain from eating any of the other animals. So the Pandas start the long trek back to China, the Australian animals, kangaroos, wombats, Tasmanian tigers, emus, numbats and bilbies have a long swim ahead so they get going straight away, same as the polar bears, bison and elk, all of the insects, bugs, fleas, spiders hitch a rid on their backs.

After Noah’s ship landed on dry ground and he’s got a few spare clean animals and around so he puts on a giant barbecue for god who thinks the aroma of these burning carcasses was mighty soothing.

And so Noah and his family get down to restarting the human race, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins furiously fucking each other and since they are so genetically pure they escape the consequences of inbreeding which have befallen many other small closed communities ever since. According to the story, olive trees and grape vines and presumably all of the other vegetation survived underwater for 10 months because Noah’s got a winery going and in no time and manages to get blind drunk and collapses stark bollock naked in his tent, mind you he is one of gods own men so it’s cool to get motherless drunk and frolic around in the nude if you are a man of god. Ham sees his old man in the nude and is reprimanded severely, condemned to being his brother’s servant. In those day it was very very uncool to see your fathers dick, boys were not allowed to look at each others willies, penis envy couldn’t be allowed to take hold, but didn’t anyone ever have a bath. and inadvertently catch a glimpse of their brothers or father’s unmentionables.

This fairytale does not require any more discussion; it is an affront of the intelligence of the dumbest critic. About the only way Noah could have pulled off this act would have been to collect DNA material, but this is being too kind and simply presents another insurmountable absurdity.

Anyway what kind of loving, compassionate, caring god we are talking about here, supposedly kills every living thing on the face of the earth because he’s pissed off with some evil men and women, what about the animals, were they sinners to, were the elephants so evil they had to be destroyed, those sons of bitches hippopotamuses’ had to be wiped out, the idolatrous fruit bats had to go, the heretical possums could not be tolerated, the blasphemous kangaroos, kill the whole fucking world and everything in it and let them start again. Anyone who believes this crap needs urgent psychoanalytical help.

ABRAHAM

Now we come to Abraham, the great bible patriarch married to his sister, [no sexual immorality here) seems there were no limits to the depths to which the bible patriarchs would stoop. Incest, infanticide and ritual sacrifice were only a few of things required to worship the loving god, a bit of brinksmanship from god, push the believers beyond the limits of human decency to prove the love they had of their god. According to the story, Abraham wasn’t too perturbed about stabbing his son to death and burning his corpse on the funeral pyre, but fortuitously a stranded ram was standing by to step in for the hapless Isaac. Was Abraham a psychopath, or did he posses faith (that affronts any normal human being) beyond what we are able to conceive or was he simply a deranged murderer. Would any normal, rational, sane father premeditatedly murder their son, burn his body on a funeral pyre as in some bloodlust pagan ritual to appease the loving god. Of all the utter garbage in the bible this story affronts ones sensibilities most profoundly.


But there are holes in the story, Abraham, is asked by Isaac “look at the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering”, Abraham replies “my son, god will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering”. Isaac says there is a fire already burning and Abraham says god will provide a lamb so he already new the outcome of the ritual melodrama before he supposedly tied Isaac up and pretended he was going to sacrifice him. Seems like a melodramatic shame, going through the motions but knowing the outcome before you start. Not a bad yarn to tell around the camp fire to those who were not present and dumb enough to believe it, but unfortunately a fairly hollow fairytale let down badly by the details as presented in the story. Presumably Abraham spreads the story around so as to bask in his vainglory. Greater love hath no man than to kill his son or pretend he’s about to do so knowing he doesn’t really have to, a pretty hollow show of faith. You can bet your life Isaac was watching his back very closely after this charade.

This story is so obviously a load of utter bullshit, so here’s what really happened, Abraham is throwing a Sunday afternoon barbecue for a few mates, you know, gets blind and works up a righteous holy storm, after a few jugs of wine or ten everyone is blind motherless drunk and talking to god, and gods answering, off their collective faces, Isaac is a smartarsed teenager and full to the tits with turps and gives Abraham some stick (as badmouthed teenagers do) about being full of shit, sacrifice me will you, you old fool, have a go if you reckon you’re good enough, I’ll kick your fucking arse with both hands tied behind my back, great patriarch, my arse, god bothering dickhead, I ought to cut your heart out and feed it to the dogs, blah, blah, blah. Abraham gets righteously pissed off and says, mind your fucking smartarse mouth boy or you’ll be on the barbecue instead of the lamb chops. How old was Isaac, if he was a little kid he might have gone along with the “tie me up game” but if he was a teenager or young man no way he would have meekly allowed himself to be tied up and stabbed to death and burnt unless he was a retard, which is a distinct possibility since he was the product of the union between brother and sister. Unfortunately for theology human beings in biblical times were not much different from us now, human, and all too human.

JOSHUA

The tablets were still hot off the mountain where god had just said “Thou Shalt Not Kill” and Joshua, being our archetypal psychopathic genocidal maniac is rampaging through the country engaged in mass slaughter, but it’s all right because god told him to do it. What the tablets actually stated was “Thou Shalt Not Kill except if I [god] says so, then it’s ok” Subtle hey, who would have thought. Maybe we didn’t get the P.S. at the bottom of the tablet, it probably went something like this, “Under ideal conditions, when everyone is being good and doing what they are told, the above applies, but if I’m pissed of and you need to grab a bit of land, eliminate a heap of heretics and grab some pussy for the troops to play with, disregard above.

The Midianites are utterly destroyed, every man woman and child except the virgins,32,000 are set aside for the use of the Joshua’s army. One wonders how it was determined which were virgins and which were not, did these women voluntarily submit to a vaginal examination (hardly) or were they systematically raped and the total of those who bleed tallied up later. What a horrific episode in the history of man kind [if it really happened], but justified and sanctified by the wonderful, loving, compassionate, caring Christian god. Another point arises from this sickening story, that is, what was the meaning of the word “virgin”, these days it mean a female that has not been sexually penetrated, or putting it another way a female that has her hymen intact, this can only be determined by competent medical examination and even then it is doubtful as the hymen can be broken without penile penetration. So were these 32,000 virgins, virgins in the contemporary sense or were they simply unmarried women, if so this throws considerable doubt on the virgin birth myth, the virgin birth myth becomes a simple mistranslation. Virgin conception and births only seem to exist in religious records never in the real world, if god created the world and everything in it, he/she also created the laws of physics, mathematics and biology, reproduction etc, laws that every living thing on the face of the earth complies with, so how and why did god contravene the laws of biology and cause spontaneous conception when it is contrary to every known law of biology.
With gods sanction and urging joshua utterly destroys, the people of Ai, the Gibeonites, the people of Makkedah, the Libnahites, the people of Lachish, the Egonlites, the Hebronites, the Debieites, the people of Anikim, Joshua 10:40 "So Joshua defeated the whole land ...; he left none remaining, but destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God of Israel commanded." Great stuff, sounds a bit like the present day American government, serving god.

LOT

Honor thy Mother and Father. It was not long after, Lot’s daughters [reportedly virgins, one wonders] gave Lot the great honor of getting him drunk, the older daughter screwing him first and the younger daughter next, a rather dubious honor to have bestowed on one. You have to marvel at the pragmatism of these old testament patriarchs, now just how drunk was Lot, since drunk is a relative term, was he so blind motherless drunk that he didn’t know he was screwing his daughters, in which case he should have had trouble getting it up, or was he just a bit drunk and able to get it up and didn’t mind screwing his daughters. Perhaps he thought it a great honor to relieve his daughters of the burden of their virginity.

They were in a cave in the mountains, no other men around, a few months later the two daughters start to swell, no husbands, no other men, was Lot so dumb that he didn’t know he was the father of his daughters babies, didn’t he care or was he rather proud. One marvels at the christian patriarchs, any pussy will do when the tribal birthrate is down and an heir is needed, keep it in the family seems to be the motto of the story. But before all this Lot was willing to throw his virgin daughters to dogs wanting to screw the male angles [who later become men in the story] staying in his house. Were these children born retards as is quite often the case with incest?

Fortunately for Lot’s wife she was turned into a pillar of salt [ whatever that means] for looking back to Sodom and doubly fortunate the she had no sons because they probably wouldn’t have minded playing hide the sausage with her.
LAWS

Then the dozen or so heinous crimes that attract the death penalty, such as pulling a donkey out of a hole on the Sabbath or a back chatting son or daughter that dares to question their father’s authority, adultery, sodomy, incest. There are some really important laws in the old testament such as, if two men are fighting and the wife of one grabs the other fellows genitals then she must have her hand cut off, apparently fighting and testicle grabbing was widespread in those days and had to be stopped and so required a specific law banning it, “No woman shall grab the nuts of the opponent of her husband in a fight”. The woman could poke eyes out, crack heads open, break legs but never, never, never, ever grab a fellows nuts, the line had to drawn somewhere, nut grabbing was not kosher, could not be tolerated, cut their hands off, the dirty bitches, how dare they grab a fellows meat.

SOLOMON

The bible has something for everyone, even a bit of thinly veiled erotica as in the song of solomon, Because of the fragrance of your good ointments, your name is ointment poured forth, therefore the virgins [again one wonders what this word really means] love you. Lead me away. We will run after you. The king has brought me to his chambers.
2:3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste, “I delighted in giving my love a blow job and it tasted sweet. 2:6 His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me. I charge you daughters of jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases. “he held me with his left arm and stroked me with his right and entreated me not to cum too soon “.

2:17Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag upon the mountains of Bether, “make love to me all night, be strong like a stag”. 3:4 Scarcely had I passed them by when I found the one I love. I held him and would not let him go, until I had brought him to the house of my mother, and into the chamber of her who had conceived me, “I found him, took back to my mothers house and made love to him in my mothers bed”. 3:5 I charge you oh daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases, “don’t cum too soon”. 4:6 Your two breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense, “all night I will caress your breasts and go my way to your pubic mound and feed on your vagina until daybreak”. 4:10 How much better than wine is your love, and the scent of your perfumes than all spices, “how much better than wine is the taste of your vagina and the scent sweeter than all spices “.4:16 Awake, oh north wind and come south. Blow upon my garden that its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruit, “go down, go down and let me feel your breath on my vagina, lick and suck me, make my musky juices flow”. 5:1 I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse. I have gathered my myrrh with my spice, I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey, I have drunk my wine with my milk, “ I have tasted the sweetness of your vagina and drunk the mixture of our juices.

5:2 Open for me my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is covered with dew and my locks with the drops of the night. I have taken off my robe, how can I put it on again, I have washed my feet how can I defile them again. My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door and my heart yearned for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. “I fantasized over you, I hear you entreating me to open for you, telling me your penis is secreting, your foreskin is pulled back, your pubic hair wet with fluid, I am naked, I imagined you fingers on my vulva and I wanted you so much, I spread for you, my fingers were dripping with my juices as I opened my vulva for you, I opened for you but you were not there. 5: 8 I charge you, oh daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved that you tell him I am lovesick, “if you see my lover tell him I am greatly aroused I need him now”. 7:7 This stature of yours is like a palm tree and your breasts like its clusters. I said I will go up to the palm tree and take hold of it’s branches, let now you breasts be like clusters of the vine., “ breasts like firm bunches of grapes to be eaten ”. 7:13 The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our gates are pleasant fruits, all manner, new and old, which I have laid up for you,” the fragrance of my vagina is sweet and at my vulva are many delights some of which you have known and others new that I have saved for you ”.

8:2 I would lead you and bring you into the house of my mother, she who used to instruct me, I would cause you to drink of the spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate, “I would take you to my mothers house, she who instructed me in the sexual arts, and make you drink the sweet musky juices of my pink wet vagina. 8:3 His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me, “again he holds me and masturbates me with his right hand “. 8:4 I charge you oh daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases, “I tell you girls of Jerusalem do not become aroused to quickly, make it last, do not cum too quickly “. 8:14 Make haste my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountain of spices, “come quickly my love, make love to me like a wild animal aroused by the musky fragrance of my vagina “.

Lets not forget, these are the irrefutable inerrant words of god, rendered into contemporary English, cunnilingus and fellatio are cool, sexual fantasizing with associated masturbation is kosher, caressing of breasts, tongue kissing, sniffing of vaginal odors is ok, drinking of vaginal secretions is allowed. Nothing wrong with this except the moralizing of Christian zealots telling us unbelievers what is right and wrong, that you have to be married to do this, who says, Solomon married his 300 concubines so if it is good enough for such a wise king, it is good enough for me.

One wonders how sexually repressed Christian can read the song of Solomon, could it be that, what is considered, in puritanical Christian thought, to be sexually deviant and morally abhorrent, be the irrefutable word of god. But this is where the disingenuousness of Christian thought comes to the fore, the ability to hold two totally contradictory propositions simultaneously as inviolable. This thinly disguised erotica is the sacred word of god but it is not erotica when read through the eyes of fundamentalist blind faith, it just depends on who is reading it and how much of their rational mind they have left to reason with.

This brings us to so called sexual immorality [in the Christian sense], no mention of marriage of Solomon and his lover until 4:10, where he calls her his sister, his spouse, [doubtful terms in the context of the story] this is after he has taken her to his chambers, she has performed fellatio on him and he has masturbated her and she has made love to him in her mothers bed. Not to mention Solomon’s vast herd of wives and lovers, 700 wives and 300 concubines that his latest conquest is invited to join. He is besotted by her, bursting to lay her, get his head between her legs at every opportunity, can not get enough of her, but how long will this passion last before he tires of her and goes back to screwing his concubines, when the freshness of newly taken virginity has passed, how long before she is thrown onto the scrap heap of concubinal imprisonment, where she is no longer number one and the latest piece of fresh meat has taken her place.

How terrible for her, to be thrown on the scrap heap when he tires of her. However, this is not sexual immorality; this is what you want it to be, depending on your perspective. Mormons are considered to morally corrupt having 2 or 3 wives, however Solomon had 300 and this is not considered to be sexual perversity. But Christians have not the slightest problem overlooking the idiosyncratic [some would say insane] behavior of a patriarchal sex maniac. God is not mentioned once in the Song of Solomon so what has this erotica got to do with the Christian religion.

This mega polygamist obviously suffered from some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder, collecting women, [Solomon the collector], why, because he could, who needs or could keep it up to 700 wives and 300 concubines, there must have been some mightily pissed off sexually frustrated women in his harem, a pit of vipers. He had 1,000 women, assuming he could lay three a night [not bad for any man] each would get laid 2.73 times a year and what woman would put up with that, getting laid twice a year is bad enough, but getting laid .73 times is not on. Any normal woman from, say 20 to 40 year old doesn’t mind sex once a week, some women more, some women less, but lets be generous to Solomon and say once a month. For Solomon to keep it up to his wives and harem at this rate he would have had to screw a different one of them every 45 minutes, 24 hours a day, if he slept for 8 hours the rate would increase to one every 30 minutes. This is 48 erection a day, nice going Solomon, hardly worth letting it soften up between women just keep it hard for 16 hours straight, pull one on for half and hour, throw her off and grab another one. The bible only mentions Solomon having one child so we can be pretty sure he had sex at least once, sounds like he was a mega bullshit artist, 1,000 women on tap and he only has one child, maybe he only managed to get it up once, but liked showing off his collection of tame pussy., sounds like a nut case. Of course all of this commentary is absurd but one can only respond to absurdity with absurdity, to give serious comment to utter rubbish is not only a waste of time but give undeserved credibility to obvious garbage. Once again, that leap of faith, utter bullshit becomes the irrefutable word of god. Solomon was reputedly renowned for his great wisdom, [cutting babies in half his method of determining paternity] seems like this great wisdom emanated from the brain in the head of his penis.

Greater faith has no Christian than to believe two contradictions simultaneously, like Orwell’s “doublespeak”. The story is quite beautiful and not shocking in itself, a story of sexual arousal, erotic fantasy, of what two lovers have done and will do to each other, of sexual desire and titillation. But what’s it doing in the bible, is this gods book of sex education for young Christian lovers, [the how to make love manual] if so, everything described in the song of Solomon is mandatory for Christians, no if, buts or maybes, it is the literal word of god. So, “good Christian men “, get licking and “and “good Christian women “, open wide and learn to suck and swallow “, no more of this sex in the bedroom, with lights out and under the blankets [man on top please, it’s only natural], get into it anywhere, your mothers bed, in the woods, wherever because it is the literal inerrant word of god.

But make sure you get married before you dare putting any of Solomon’s and his lover’s techniques into practice lest you fall into sexual immorality. Only great, wise biblical patriarchs are allowed to allegedly fuck themselves stupid in and outside of marriage with their private collection of pet whores. For puritanical fundamentalists the Song of Solomon should be anathema, that the great wise polygamist king Solomon suckled his lover’s breasts and vaginal juices and she sucked him and found it sweet should be too much. The song of Solomon goes straight to the denial bin, this biblical aberration is there but not there, it says what it says but it doesn’t say anything, one does not talk about it therefore it does not exist. You can not present dire warning about sexual immorality in one part of the so called word of god and then present diametrically opposed actions in another part and expect rational human beings to reconcile both simultaneously, to attempt to do so leads to insanity. Black can not be white and white, black simultaneously.

NEW TESTAMENT [Paulianity]

And so it goes with atrocity after atrocity, absurdity pilled on absurdity until we come to the New Testament. This is where previous absurdities and latter day revelations are compounded into alphabet soup. Where the prince of peace come with a sword, and tells you if you don’t have your own sword to sell you cloths and buy one, [lots of naked Christians running around with swords in their hands] where we are told to hate our parents and love him [egomaniac], where the zealous blatantly misogynistic Paul lays down the lions share of new testament law. Law allegedly given by someone who never wrote a thing, the law based on what someone said someone said someone said. The old story of asking three eye witnesses for their account of what happened in a traffic accident and getting three different accounts, applies here. Let alone wait for who knows how many years later to write down what was supposedly said. Jesus supposedly said his intention was not to wipe out the mosaic law but to fulfill it. Confusion reigns supreme again, you can’t have the NT god being the god of love, peace and kindness and call this same god of the OT, the god of murder, rape, genocide and plunder, we have two diametrically opposed belief systems and we are told to believe the two are really of the same god. Here we are enjoined to throw out all of what were told to believe from the old testament, do a mental back flip and believe that this vindictive god is not really the condoner, instigator and architect of murder, land grabbing, rape, incest, genocide, infanticide, sexual slavery, polygamy, ritual sacrifice, patriarchal insanity, retribution and punishment, he is the god of love and mercy, cares for you, wants to rock you in his loving bosom.

No wonder Christians are so badly confused, they have to love the god of the old and new testaments simultaneously, a herculean feat, a dialectic absurdity, only the deeply religious are able to hold two utterly counter intuitive predications simultaneously, and believe absolutely in both, an amazing feat of faith. Two diametrically opposed doctrines, one of unadulterated horror the other of alleged supreme love. The confusion Christians have holds true if you question their beliefs, they invariably burr up, take it as a personal attack when you question their doctrine, particularly when they are presented with obvious contradictions, it is as if you have slapped their faces when all you are doing is asking for a sensible answer to a reasonable question. Their super sensitiveness to questioning tells you something of the lack of surety they have in their own beliefs. Question a scientist on the laws of physics and he/she will quote precisely the applicable law to a specific situation and proceed to give you 14 different examples of how and where these laws apply, ask a Christian about their belief system and all they can do is get angry and give you a line of shit about faith.

Faith total absence of analytical thought blind acceptance of the most absurd propositions deep faith a diagnosable form of mental illness.

MORE NT ROT

Mary is allegedly a virgin, yet manages to get pregnant, first of all, by whom and how was it determined that Mary was a virgin, did she submit to a vaginal examination, if so, who did the examination and declared her a virgin, on who’s authority was she declared a virgin, or is this a simple mistranslation, since the original word meant “unmarried woman”. More likely Joseph was a bit of a sly dog and got his end in without anyone knowing. As we know from bible history men in those days where quite partial to a bit of hide the sausage.

Simply stated pregnancy requires the fertilisation of an egg by at least one male sperm, since it is an entirely physiological process a sperm must have come into contact with an egg within Mary and thus resulted in an embryo, so how did god get a sperm into Mary without breaking her hymen [assuming she had one and that this fairy tale is true], was she inseminated with a fine instrument that didn’t brake her hymen or did god somehow violate her without breaking her hymen, maybe gods got a really little dick.. Anyway god impregnates Mary, but somewhere, sometime, somehow, someone or something put a sperm in her virginal canal and she conceived because without that nasty little tadpole and a receptive egg you don’t get a baby. Believe it if you want to, but babies in the real world don’t happen without egg and sperm, egg and sperm, no other recipe works if you want a baby. If god is so great and all powerful why didn’t he just materialize Jesus out of thin air, why inflict the tedious and painful process of human birth on Mary when he could have just gone wham bam, here’s Jesus, son of god, out of thin air. But maybe god’s a bit of a sly dog and wanted to poke a virgin just because he could.. Here’s what probably happened, after making love to Mary, Joseph pulls out and says, god, what an immaculate fuck that was.

Let’s look at Jesus’ genealogy, for a start, he didn’t have any genealogy if you don’t believe in reincarnation, he was supposedly immaculately conceived [straight from god, no past] and therefore without a past or sin, so didn’t need to be baptized to wash away sin, too many holes in the story, too many inconsistencies. The NT writers obviously did not have to contend with literary critics since the vast majority of the population couldn’t read or write in those days, they could get away with any bullshit they wrote, these days there are a few more people who can read and write and there are even one or two that can think, so this crap that the NT writers presented is quite easy to shoot down in flames. Of course the Christian apologists doggedly defend the indefensible, one must admire their dedication, while at the same time pity their naivety, for they neither practice what they preach nor know not what they believe in. They are a perfect example of what has happened to whatever the hand of man has touched, a perverted, twisted, misinterpreted belief system to suite whatever ism or schism that enables the maximum amount of money to be extracted from and power exerted over a gullible self hating, mindless, thoughtless, intolerant gaggle of spectacularly stupid fools. One must take ones hat of to the Pat Dobsons, the Jerry Falwells, the Oral Roberts, the Dennis Pragers of this world, they are able to live like veritable king, where the average dumbshit Christian is flat out feeding their family, but I suppose that’s the way god planed it, that’s the way god wanted it to be. God doesn’t want his top representatives living like dogs, better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick -- that’s god’s way.

Every year tradition says we must celebrate the birthday of Jesus, this is in remembrance of when they let off fireworks [stars in the sky], the three wise Santa clauses visited Jesus after his birth and gave him gold, frankincense and myrrh, of little use to a new born baby. Apparently the dates are wrong but that’s another story. Maybe we could market this scam, make a fortune out of it, merchandise it, the whole deal, oh, damn, it’s already been done and poor Jesus never got a cent in royalties but there are a shitload of other bloodsuckers making a fortune out of it.

The hundreds of contradictions not only within the new testament and between the old and new testaments, between Paul’s NT version and what Jesus supposedly said, make the NT a laughing stock, if such a document were presented to a present day court of law for authentification it would be thrown out in 10 seconds as being an unreliable, historically unverifiable, inaccurate, contradictory, inconsistent, fabricated, nonsensical document and consigned post haste to the rubbish bin where it belongs. However true believers are able to get around these seemingly insurmountable obstacles with ease and without a second thought, declare the bible to be the true, authentic, unambiguous, inerrant, inspired word of god. Analytical, rational thought has no place in the Christian paradigm.

The OT is full of self contradictions the NT no better, 194 according to one internet source. The NT is clearly a story designed to fit OT prophesy, it is the illogical extension of OT myths but badly let down by the incredible number of inconsistencies and contradictions in it. One would assume that the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient god could get it right even though he is writing through human agents, why couldn’t he burn it into their brains, don’t fuck up with this, all of you get this story straight, don’t contradict each other, you only have one go at this, but no, we have a hodgepodge of self contradictory horseshit that strikes a note with only the lamest of humanity, the intellectual cripples of this sick world seem to be the only ones that can make sense of this collection of contradictory crap. But how much of the Christian doctrine is rhetoric and how much of it is actuality, words and actions do not correspond, forgive your enemies or bomb the living shit out of them. Joshua would be in his element today, perhaps the head of the American military is the reincarnation of Joshua, his actions are indistinguishable from the Joshua of old if he actually existed that is.

MODERN CHURCH

And so today the madness still goes on, we still have the same type of insanity endemic in the modern church. The sheer dumb animal stupidity of the catholic church, the morally bankrupt, hypocritical, self righteousness of the Jews, the utterly arrogant blindness of protestants is a sad testament to how far removed they have become from the original teachings, if there ever were any. The treatment of women as substandard beings, not allowed to hold positions of office, not allowed to be priests or ministers demonstrates the thoroughness of the patriarchal thought control. It is a wonder how any woman with two brain cells working can be a member of any modern church. Modern churches are men’s affairs with women simply being an addendum, tea, cake and baby makers, shut up in church, cover your hair, don’t wear men’s clothes etc, etc. Luckily I am a civilized non-Christian and can refrain from smashing the heads of so called god fearing Christians, unlike many so called Christians who will commit murder by proxy in the name of their god. Apparently it is ok to have atrocities committed in the name of god if you get someone else to do it for you, get gods army to commit the atrocities for you, [onward Christian soldier murders].

The stupidity of modern religion has reached the stage of utter insanity, so called Christian governments still go on their murderous, genocidal rampages in the name of god, history repeating itself. Unfortunately the brain dead, alleged Christian populations under these governments haven’t read or have selectively read their bibles. Anyone who supports war is accessory after the fact to murder, anyone who goes to war as a willing participant is a potential murderer and is therefore, by definition, not a Christian. “So called” Christians are commanded by god not to kill “6th commandment”,, “so called” Christians don’t impose so called democracies on foreign countries and in the process wipe out 1,00,000 or so innocent people, “so called” Christians don’t steal the property of others [oil ], so called Christian have never been given the right to rule the world,. “So called” Christians don’t have the belief that “we have come hear to help you, if you don’t let us help you we will have to kill you” it’s for your own good. This lets pretend Christian scum that rule most of the western world and the robotic, mindless, thoughtless semi human enforcers [military] have oceans of blood on their hands, no wonder Americans are universally hated. Apparently god is really big on Americans maintaining their present standard of living at the cost of the whole fucking world. Fuck god fuck America with it’s stinking mindless self-righteousness, America is locked into some kind of anachronistic, egotistic, solipsistic, imperial self-righteous justification for actions based on interpretations of absolutely unverifiable ancient myths, no wonder it’s foundations are crumbling, the country is divided and at war with itself. The whole country is at war, the war on drugs, the war on poverty, the war on terrorisms, the war on corruption, the war on pollution, the war on want, the war on child abuse, the war on cancer, the war on heart disease, the war on racism, war, war, war, all based on the old testament, America is an anachronism, it is in the vortex of the whirlpool that appears in your toilet bowl just before the contents disappear forever..

POPE

The utter insanity of events being witnessed recently regarding the death of pope john is a disgraceful, lamentable testament as to how low the catholic church has sunk unto anthropomorphism. The catholic “man god” is dead, [can god die] this is the man [only a man] who has done more than any modern cleric to perpetuate the subjugation of women in particular, the poor in general, and is directly responsible for the birth of countless thousands into utter destitution. What did this demon know about procreation, if he knew anything about it he shouldn’t?

This is the man that [if we are to believe catholic doctrine] has never experienced the most basic of human functions, supposedly never known the joy of sex, never had a deliberate orgasm, one wonders at how horrible a penance he might have inflicted on himself if he had ever had a wet dream, involuntary ejaculation, horror of horrors, to have to accept that a man is just a man after all. This great man [human garbage] has never experienced the joy of procreation nor the terrible mental anguish of unwanted pregnancy of a mother, never raised children in abject poverty, never seen his son or daughter die pitifully in such poverty, is directly responsible for the inexorable spread of aids and other social diseases. This so called great man [piece of filth] would force, through fear of retribution or excommunication, a raped woman to bear an unwanted child.

This great man [scum] has stated that it is better for a man, that, if he can’t practice total sexual abstinence, to knowingly infect his sexual partner[wife or other] with aids rather than use a condom, does this filth have one ounce of human compassion, the tiniest speck of moral decency. This great man [trash] dared to dictate oxymoronical religious law regarding human the condition that he had not the slightest concept of. His ivory tower provided no view of the slum. This so called great man is accessory after the fact to, infanticide, pedophilia, perverted homosexuality, poverty, starvation, prostitution, overpopulation and consequent environmental degradation. This puerile being turned a blind eye to endemic pedophilia in the church and affiliated organisations. This moron [one of the many] exemplifies the vacuous mental retardation necessary for a belief in Catholicism. This champion of the inquisition whose dereliction of duty and total moral corruption has thankfully turned millions away from a virulent form of religious psychosis. What we are witnessing is not simply a mass turning away from so catholic religious law, but a mass recognition of a diagnosable form of extremely serious mental illness.

Can one positive thing be said about a clerical system that has seen over 4,000 catholic priests face sexual abuse allegation in the last 50 years, the alleged 10,000 victims were mainly boys between the ages of 11 and 14 years? One doesn’t need to go looking for this scum, no, they invariably out themselves with their outrageous self indulgent behavior, given the smallest amount of latitude they can not help but abuse positions of trust.

GENERAL

Probably the most astounding thing about religion is that it is given any credibility at all when it is demonstrably the most vile, destructive force the earth has ever seen. The breathtaking mindlessness of fundamentalist Christian and Muslim power gone mad as witnessed in the middle east, the sheer pig ignorance of the arrogant Jewish power mongers, obviously suffering from a deadly diagnosable mental illness called something like “psychopathic obsessive compulsive persecution disorder” [add whatever you like here they are certifiably insane]. Religion has poisoned everything it has touched, most governments are run on the Christian model, “ hierarchical, patriarchal, authoritarian, punitive ” , most judicial systems the same, most business the same, all having one filthy rotten stinking root in Judaeo-Christian religion, Islam is no better possibly worse, as evidenced by their brainwashing in particular and their treatment of women in general.
What is this fatal infantile flaw in the human psyche that requires it blame the devil when something goes wrong and praise god when it goes right [transference]. I remember the sickeningly pathetic sight of Jimmy Swaggart weeping in his confession that the devil made him screw a few whores, that he was a good Christian man but that nasty old devil got the better of him. Why not be real, admit and take responsibility for his actions, just say Tammy couldn’t give me what I needed so I had to pay a whore for it, pure and simple, I’m just a man, and cop it with a bit of backbone not like a whimpering jellyfish. Anyway where was god, why didn’t he stop good old jimmy, “apparently they had a hotline to each other”. Why didn’t god say to jimmy, stop this jimmy or I’ll shrivel your nuts up, your meat is going to raise a shit storm of trouble the like of which you’ve never seen. But no god just let him go, humping and grinding for the lord, hallelujah.

The genius of the bible is that it does bring one to self realization, [though not the way Christians would have you think] it teaches one that institutionalised hierarchical paternalistic punitive religion is not only superfluous but a deadly poison to human life, utter garbage, the bible is the service manual of what not to do, it is the last word on how to fuck a world, how to subjugate, denigrate, manipulate the gullible, frighten the fearful into blind obedience, turn a world into a polarized living hell. The bible demonstrates vividly that the path to self realization, higher consciousness, enlightenment, and self responsibility [what ever you want to call it] is not gained through some kind of self delusory worship of an externalised god, or by devotion to, or arse kissing of a self serving priest, but through the stripping away of veils of dumb animal pig ignorance, fear, and superstition, that true enlightenment is the result of the expansion of consciousness not the contraction of it.

One stands in awe at the spectacular stupidity required to be a devoted Christian [or any other faith], how do otherwise supposedly intelligent human beings take this gigantic leap of faith, [from rationality to utter absurdity] and as the faith become greater so the leaps become longer, [tenuous fairy tales become irrefutable truth]. Do they have so little self worth, so little self respect, such much self hate that they must seek forgiveness from an intangible, unknowable, non-communicative, mental construct called god.

The beautiful thing about religion is that people accept that there are no money back guarantees, they go to church every Sunday, tithe until they are broke, pray until they are blue in the face and if they still feel like a piece of shit they know it’s their own fault, they haven’t got enough faith, beautiful, marketing the intangible, no refunds here, regrettably a lot of people self flagellate to the point of madness.

A precautionary note here for cheeky kids, don’t put shit on Christian patriarchs, they are liable to go nuts and set the bears on to you and tear you to pieces, as Elisha the black magician did. Apparently is was quite normal in biblical times for Christian patriarchs to have psychic control over ferocious members of the animal kingdom to tear naughty children limb from limb, one must assume it to be a suitable punishment for bad mouth kids. Way to go, Christian child control, just keep a couple of bears in the backyard and tell your kids, give me any shit and I’ll have my furry friends out back tear you to pieces, that should shut them up, fuck with me and I’ll throw you to the bears.

BORN AGAIN

Became a Christian at Saturday nights brother loves god bothering road show did you, and your still jacking off over the neighbors daughter hey, still can’t resist a look at that naughty website then a quick flog and still don’t mind getting on the piss, and don’t mind going down on the missus, that nasty old devil just won’t leave you alone will he, pestering the shit out of you to be the same old piece of shit you always were. But where is god, I thought you gave your life to the loving Jesus, I thought Jesus is now your lord and savior, isn’t he supposed to be rocking you in his loving bosom, sorry dumbfuck, you are on your own if you can’t cut this faith deal, the bad old devil’s got you by the nuts and you are staying where you are.

It couldn’t be as simple as being locked into your own behavioral habits, not hurting anybody, just doing what feels ok to you, no it’s that old devil on your case, nothing to do with your total lack of will, your spineless lack of resolve, your utterly wretched addiction to self gratification, no, no, not at all, it’s that SOB devil dragging you down. Well, you poor dumbfuck, god’s content to let you wallow in your filth until you have the balls to pull yourself out of it, and if by some slim chance you do, then you can get down on your knees and thank your loving god for doing what you did your for yourself.

Bullshit, you say, “God gave me the strength to lift myself up.” Bullshit, I say, because if this god was such a loving, caring, omnipotent god he/she wouldn’t have let you get into shithole you were in, in the first place. Most born again Christians make you so sick you wish they had never been born in the first place. No need to be born again, just grow up.

FEAR

Unfortunately people become Christians or “other” before they have studied it, children are forced into it and controlled by fear through it, and those in dire straights are susceptible to it. A one year study for those over the age of 21of any religion should be compulsory before one is allowed to join any religious organisation. A thorough understanding of the nature of, history of, modus operandi, social and personal responsibilities must be gained, followed by a thorough professional psychological assessment before being allowed to join, because, demonstrably, most of the horrific suffering mankind has endured through the ages has been caused by religion rather than any other human stupidity. Religion has convinced people that there is an invisible man living in the sky, and he has a special list of ten things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of those things he will send you to a place full of fire and you will burn and suffer and be tortured forever and ever until the end of time [whenever that is], but he loves you dearly and his representatives on earth need lots more money to continue telling everyone this.

SEXUAL IMMORALITY

Since there is no actual marriage ceremony in the bible we can safely assume that marriage in the contemporary sense is nothing more than a social custom, something to satisfy the prejudices of the morally judgmental, confused about their own sexuality. The bible says people should marry lest they fall into sexual immorality, no doubt the notion of what is sexually immoral and what is not has changed throughout the ages. So, what is considered to be sexually immoral today, incest, rape, sodomy, bestiality, sex with a minor [male or female], no one needs to be a religious nut case to know that such behavior is absolutely abhorrent to anyone in there right mind and does not need god to tell him or her so, it is self evident, patently obvious, one does not need religion to know the difference between right and wrong.

But let’s go back to biblical times and have a look at what was considered to be sexual immorality, who knows who Cain and later, his sons, were screwing. Apparently incest was not considered to be sexually immoral, Abraham didn’t mind fucking his sister, Lot didn’t mind fucking his daughters. No problem with rape in biblical times, Lot was ok about offering his daughters to the rabble to fuck instead of the angels, Joshua was ok about taking 32,000 virgins for his troops to do whatever they wanted with, women where just chattels. Later on in Judges the old man in Gibeah didn’t mind giving his concubine to the mob to fuck to death overnight. Then the army of Israel returns and kills all of the adult men and women but spares the virgins [one wonders how they were determined to be virgins] and no doubt they were treated appropriately? And what about the concubine [unpaid whore in other words] that was cut into 12 pieces and distributed to the twelve tribes of Israel? Enlightening stuff these bible stories!

Sodomy, well we will have to concede that one, bum fucking was not kosher in biblical times, bum fuckers had to be stoned to death, same for practitioners of bestiality, the loving merciful god could not be appeased any other way, adultery the same. Sex with a minor, historically it was OK to have teenage brides, old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher.

So we could say sexual immorality might actually have taken a slight turn for the better these days despite the decline in religious belief, of course there are the criminally insane who break the rules but in general most choose not to partake of sexual immorality, religious nut cases or not. But what about the religious fruit cakes that break the rules of sexual immorality [and there have been many], they are doubly guilty because us nonbelievers are supposed not to know the difference between right and wrong. Hundreds of so called primitive societies have been running harmoniously for who knows how long without the doubtful aid of the Christian god. It seems only after the intervention of the do-gooder missionary that the wheels fall of, that societies are driven to division, fragmentation, guilt, hate, fear, judgmental attitudes and finally to self destruction, history irrefutably proves this.

Let’s make a comparison, two consenting adults living together in a loving relationship, unmarried, presumably satisfying each others emotional and physical needs, not thrusting their sexuality upon anyone else, just happy to be with each other, this is considered to be sexually immoral in contemporary Christian judgment. But the filthy, morally bankrupt, criminally insane behavior of our great bible patriarchs is conveniently overlooked and not considered to be sexual immorality. Someone has lost the plot here; someone can’t read their bibles or reads what they want to and quickly puts what is insurmountably intellectually challenging into the denial basket. Is it ok to fuck your daughter, sell your daughter into slavery, it ok to give your concubine to be fucked to death by the common rabble, it is OK to rape the daughters of those conquered no, no ,no., this is sickening fucking, utter rubbish is presented as the fundamental, unquestionable, irrefutable, inerrant, infallible word of god, [vomit now]. I have a daughter, I have never desired to, thought of, considered how I might, fuck her, but the bible says it’s OK if I want to.

Religion itself is a sort of security blanket for those incapable of independent thought or ability to take responsibility for there own actions, a dummy for the brain dead, a kind of soft drug for the feeble minded, a pacifier for those who must transfer their inability to do right by their fellow man to a supposedly irresistible evil force external to themselves. But religion becomes insidious when coupled with power and politics, as witnessed by present day events, under these circumstances it becomes a theological drug, smack for the mindless. Fundamental Christianity, the drug par excellence for the worlds power mongers, theological heroin. World politics is rotten enough itself without being fueled by insane religious self righteousness. We are witnessing badly flawed democracies poisoned with fundamentalist theological fascism.

Human beings, born innocent, taught to be evil and commanded by god to be perfect without the necessary tools to do so, threatened with eternal suffering if perfection is not achieved, no wonder Christians have lost their minds. Faced with the insurmountable task of achieving so called perfection, the logical reaction is to simply deny so called wrong doing and transfer responsibility to an invisible, external, intangible agent, the devil. The devils out there and gunning for your soul, it couldn’t be that you are just a pig ignorant, arrogant, self opinionated, closed mined, self righteous, dumb, spineless weakling, incapable of rational thought or self control within societies framework, incapable of taking responsibility for your actions, relying on violence of every kind to thrust your mind numbingly vacuous doctrine of patriarchal thought control, hate, fear and eternal punishment on those who neither want, need, or desire it, no, none of the above, that dirty rotten devil made you do it, you didn’t really want to do it, did you, but you couldn’t resist him/her could you.

THEOLOGICAL FACISM

Inexcusable actions become acceptable if done for the so called highest good, it will never be right to do wrong for the sake of so called right. The Jewish example is perfect, invade a country with the help of a strong ally [only because Briton wouldn’t accept a gaggle of ego-maniacal, self righteous scum ], deny the existence of a native population of the invaded country, subject that alleged nonexistent population to the most horrific persecution, segregate them, deny their very humanity, all because, firstly, they don’t believe in the same fairy stories as you and secondly god said in an unauthenticated bloodlust fairytale written who knows when, “it’s your land, take it”. But it’s all right because god said to his genocidal devotees [who at times were not so devoted] that this is your land. God supposedly said this to Jews, unfortunately there were no Jews then, Judaism developed much later. The so called chosen people were not chosen for their greatness; on the contrary, they were chosen for their baseness and depravity, they were a homicidal, maniacal rabble wondering around the desert looking for some land to steal.

Now we have the worlds only superpower virtually controlled by Israel, Jewish aspirations determining American foreign policy, dictated by a group of ultra right wing Zionist zealot lobbyists intent on starting world war three, with the expectation that they will be the ones left standing when their Muslim enemies have been wiped from the face of the earth. Unfortunately for Israel and fortunately for the world, Muslims are not simply going to curl up and die at the whim of Israel. Israel is impotent without the support of its big brother with the big stick, lets see them take on Iran by themselves, they dare not. World war three if and when it comes will hopefully see the end of Israel, they shall reap what they have sown, to use one of the few sensible saying of the Christians. Even this stinking computer I am writing this on has been hijacked by bloody Christians, every time I type in the word “Christian” this piece of shit has been programmed to give the word a capital “c” and I have to correct it, in my mind the only capital so called Christians deserve is capital punishment

The whole bible story presents absolutely insurmountable challenges to the rational mind, spectacular conclusion have been drawn from the most tenuous shreds of highly questionable myth. The whole edifice of modern religion stands on a handful of historically uncorroborated fairy tales. But one must marvel at the magnitude of the con, centuries of thought control, social engineering and manipulation of those who would comply and extermination of those would not, none dare call it megalomania. Christianity is the system, par excellence of the patriarchal fascist megalomaniac.

The anthropomorphic realization of god doesn’t hold together, mankind through the ages has marveled at the complexity of the world and everything in it. The explanation of the all of everything from evolutionist and creationist does not cut it, too many holes in both stories and neither willing to concede an inch. If we concede that there is an underlying matrix within which life came into being and continues to exist, and further that there appears to be a set of laws, known and unknown which explain the existence and continuance of life, laws which explain the all of everything in existence, this is not emotionally satisfying. If we say that god is simply a word or title for a vast collection of known and unknown parameters within which all of everything came into existence and continues to exist is once again emotionally unsatisfying but functionally correct. So it seems the man cannot conceive of god in anything other than human emotive terms, man has created god in his own pathetic image to satisfy his emotional needs, the creature has created the creator to fulfill his emotional insecurities and god amounts to nothing more than an idea, a thought, a feeling. The feel good god is not a god unto him/herself; this feel good god is a mental construct emanating from the mind of man and therefore has no existence in actuality.

Man is no greater than a cabbage in the field trying to work out where it came from, is the farmer god because he/she planted the seed or is the seed god because it contained the essence of the cabbage plant and how can the cabbage know whether to worship the farmer or the seed. The cabbage may be conscious unto itself, it may know that it is what it is but knows nothing of farmers, seeds or anything else. Whereas one camp in the human debate knows that god created it and the other camp knows that it evolved from the primordial slime, what utter crap, all that each can ever know in complete surety is that it is what it is now, all that either can ever know is that they are what they are. Evolutionary theory purports to have scientific reasoning behind it, creationist state that their theory is correct because they say it is correct, creation cannot be substantiated by absolutely irrefutable fact and neither can evolution, so to be fair we could say that each are simply two diametrically opposed religions based on dogged unbending belief and never the twain shall meet and who cares if one belief system is right and the other wrong, nothing changes anyway, man is a seriously flawed unit and will continue in his/her self destructive ways.

Until something is proved to be totally irrefutable in every possible circumstance it cannot be considered to be truth and therefore should not be doggedly believed in. Evolutionists offer something tangible that the rational mind can possibly come to grips with: Christians offer fairy tales constructed from black marks on white paper and call it irrefutable. At least the fossil record hasn’t been tampered with by religious tyrants, murders and ecclesiastic megalomaniacs. Mankind will get far more profit from learning how to live with itself than trying to work out where it came from. Man is not much more than an arrogant self aggrandized cabbage.

"In order to justify their behavior, they turn their theories into dogmas, their bylaws into first principles, their political bosses into gods and all those who disagree with them into incarnate devils. This idolatrous transformation of the relative into the absolute and the all too human into the divine, makes it possible for them to indulge their ugliest passions with a clear conscience and in the certainty that they are working for the highest good. And when their current beliefs come, in their turn, to look silly, a new set will be invented, so that the immemorial madness may continue to wear its customary mask of legality, idealism, and true religion." (Aldous Huxley )


9/23/2008                                                                                       View Comments

Building a home, God's way

By Neal Stone

So there you are. One day you decide you are going to have kids. You've decided that you are going to build a home for them as well. But there is one problem. The only neighborhood available is infested with real bad guys -- thieves, murderers and the like.

You decide you only have one of three choices:

A. Go ahead and build and hope that these bad guys won't harm or influence your children.

Or

B. Wait until the bad guys are put away forever and the neighborhood is cleaned up. Then move in.

Or

C. Find a better neighborhood.

If you chose B or C, then congratulations! You are smarter than God and obviously care a lot about your children.

If you chose A, like the god of Genesis, how did that work out for you?

The real irony is that the one who influenced Adam and Eve are the very same one God let go after a major battle in heaven. According to the book of Job, Satan visits with God daily. So why isn't he captured and put away?

When I looked for a house for my family I looked in the decent neighborhoods -- not just anywhere -- because I want the best for my family.

A nice house is useless if it's in a bad neighborhood.

God's Massacre Checklist II

By TruthSurge



Link to God's Massacre Checklist I.

9/18/2008                                                                                       View Comments

Putting God First: A Ridiculous Idea

By Gretchen

"Put God first."


The first time I ever heard this phrase, it came from my Grandmother's lips. In her way, she was trying to instill in me the same wisdom passed down from generation to generation. The idea that having god as your number one priority would cure all of your ills and grant you everlasting life in Heaven. Mind you, she meant well. I am sure someone in her young life said those words to her, meaning no harm but trying to save her soul. But, now that I am older and away from the trap, I no longer think this phrase to be true -- or even correct.

It is the idea that a supposed all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, all-[insert your description here] would need so much (or anything) that makes it hard to believe. Basically, I fail to see what something that is supposed to be perfect and complete could gain from people praying to or worshiping it. By definition, being perfect implies there is no fault or defect or lack. Yet, Christians state that God wants you, needs you to love Him, even though He is fully complete and perfect already.

In all of the twisting and contorting, everyone forgets one thing: You can't have it both ways. Either God is perfect and requires nothing from us, or he is faulty and needs our love and adoration. God is not supposed to be like a flawed human, yet love, pride, jealousy, wrath, kindness, caring, hatred, and rage are all attached to Him -- all traits a human possesses. This is always explained away though. "God is outside of everything, and logic does not apply", they say. Well, unfortunately, this is not an answer. It is just mental gymnastics at it's best, trying to answer something that is impossible.

Another thing I have come to hate about the phrase is the implication that family and even children are to take a back seat to a deity. Again, why does a god need more from me than a child would? A child is helpless up to a certain age. They cannot survive without a parent's love and care. On the other hand, something that can answer prayers, punish the wicked with awesome displays of power, and created everything in existence, wouldn't need to care about whether or not I paid my lip service for the evening or read a few lines in a book. Yet, the mantra stands: "Put God First," and people believe it.

In my opinion, this idea is meant to keep you fastened to the cult. If everything is focused on the main character of the story, how can you entertain any other view? Kids, spouses, other family members, work, hobbies, and other things become second class to a deity. Who, if given the chance, would take pleasure in watching you suffer forever and ever. But forget about that, He loves you. Eye on the prize, baby, eye on the prize.

Christians can cut this any way they want. Main thing is, however, it's just another ridiculous example of cult mentality. When you take all of your energy and being, and put it into something that requires your full compliance, you are asking for trouble. It is dangerous to lose who you truly are in anything. But, it is even more dangerous to buy into a way of thinking that would put you in the place of choosing something you can't see over the people you love.