6/29/2009                                                                                       View Comments

A Good Christian Wife

By Daniel Brown

Jack Whinery, homesteader, with his wife and t...Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr

Christian men are very insecure. As with all insecure people, they must domineer others to feel good about themselves. Once they snag a woman, the goal is to force them to submit. Women must be kept under their thumb at all times. Physical abuse isn’t necessary as emotional, psychological, and religious abuse are usually much more effective.

Below are some methods whereby Christian men accomplish this:
  1. Make lots of babies. After all, this is her ONLY purpose in life. Right?
  2. Make the woman homeschool them.
  3. Keep her nice and plump so no other men look at her.
  4. Buy her books about being a “Christian” mother.
  5. Make her wear frumpy clothes.
  6. Encourage her to have a benign hobby like scrapbooking, Pampered Chef, etc.
  7. Send her to Beth Moore conferences.
  8. Demean her. After all, she IS beneath you.
  9. Buy her new kitchen appliances so she gets the hint.
  10. Break her spirit.

I’m sure there are other methods I’m unaware of, but you get the picture.





22 comments:

webmdave said...

Wow, that's strange the Bible paints a completely different picture than what you claim to be true of a Christian marriage. LOVE is what the Bible speaks of, at least in my Bible it does. Love above all else actually, on both parties. I can even show you where it says it. The problem is a lot of so called Christians don't follow what the Bible say but still call it Christianity(that's just wrong). Its all part of the false religion that is associated with true Christianity. If its not love in all things, at all cost its not Christianity, that's true Bible. I'm sorry if you have been hurt by someone, please accept my apologies as a Christian, for them if they haven't apologized.

webmdave said...

Actually once a picture is on the net it's fair game.

webmdave said...

Hate to be a knitpicker but it was a bunch of things, man, then women, sorry couldn't resist =)

webmdave said...

Hate to be a knitpicker but it was a bunch of things, man, then women, sorry couldn't resist =)

webmdave said...

And to illustrate the proper actions of a godly woman, after she bewails her virginity, she goes back to her dad like an obedient little sacrifice.

How brainwashed does one have to be to bellyache about her virginity, instead of rectifying the situation by fucking a few studly Philistines? How low a self-worth must one have to die for someone else’s rash oath, rather than skipping town and leaving dad to deal with YHWH by himself?

webmdave said...

And to illustrate the proper actions of a godly woman, after she bewails her virginity, she goes back to her dad like an obedient little sacrifice.

How brainwashed does one have to be to bellyache about her virginity, instead of rectifying the situation by fucking a few studly Philistines? How low a self-worth must one have to die for someone else’s rash oath, rather than skipping town and leaving dad to deal with YHWH by himself?

webmdave said...

Hi JofI,

Top marks to you.
It's such a tough endlessly repetitive call trying to talk cool, clear, obvious reason to the furiously unreasonable.
It'd try the patience of......no it wouldn't!
That sad sap just lapped it up AND swallowed.

But, a word.
'Your' : a possessive pronominal adjective.
ie. Your rationale.
'You're' : a contraction of 'you are'.
ie. You're rational.

Thanks,
Steve.

webmdave said...

Steve,

To whom are you speaking, in regards to "YOUR" vs "YOU'RE" and "RATIONAL" vs "RATIONALE"?

ATF

webmdave said...

I guess that is true in some congregations, but I never witnessed it in my 30 years of various churches. Were women subjugated, oh yeah. But it took on a different look where I attended.

In one congregation, they dressed up quite nicely with makeup and such, and were encouraged to go on diets to be the thin wives that men wanted. After all, the bride of Christ should be desirable, RIGHT? You want to be desirable, don't you? (pile on the guilt, etc)

Another congregation told them to only wear long dresses and wear their hair long. This resulted in some damn fine looking females. But they were also very controlled - no dating unless you approach the pastor independently, each claiming that you felt that God wanted you to date the other. Woe to you if you were an average guy wanting to date the cutie over there. She's protected by the watchful eyes (watching and wishing) of the pastors.

Another congregation was closer to what you describe, no makeup, plain clothes, mandatory tithing, no swimming together, men wore long sleeve shirts and pants while swimming, etc. They were freaks willingly dominated by control freaks.

Lastly, there were the spinoff groups that referred to women that spoke their minds as "Jezebels!" If a woman was seen talking to a man not her husband, the husband would yell at her across the room "Are you whoring yourself woman?!" and other kind spiritual things. Just helping her be spiritual, you see.

But all of this fits right in with the abusive nature of the god of the bible. He compares Israel to his bride, but then rails against her as a whore, tossing her to her enemies to be savaged and then coming to her rescue afterward. Whatta god, whatta god. And don't talk back to him like Job... You will get slapped down like the backtalking Jezebel you are. You see he can do anything and everything to you and it is predefined as good, so you are always going to be wrong. So it is no surprise that some Christian men adopt the same attitude, since it is clearly Biblical to treat your wife like Christ treats the church.

webmdave said...

In the West, some women aren't grateful for the liberty their mothers have struggled for, compare to other places where women want freedom. They complain about property rights and other issues. My approach is this. Whether you are a man or a woman, when you get a divorce, you move on! Why demanding properties from your ex-spouse? especially when he/she's worked so hard for it. A person with pride would not depend on properties that don't belong to you anymore. Property rights suppose to go to children. there has to be respect in a relationship. If you don't respect your partner, then there's not need to continue the relationship. I hate women who treat men like children, just like I hate men who abuse their wives.

webmdave said...

Oh now you've done it. You made me whip out this site: http://2spb.blogspot.com/

It's been up my sleeve ever since I found it. It reminds me when I was growing up in the church. Even though the belief in church wasn't as extreme as the Quiverful movement, hints that women were inferior were very strong. The double standard of men and women hasn't escaped my notice either. It's manly to lay down a women before they get married, but if a women does it, she's a dirty vile slut. Oh pity her, but remind her that she and her kind has doomed man for all eternity. As I was young I started believing that I must have been born in the wrong sexual body. It was frustrating. I wanted to do all the things the boys did, I liked watching the shows the boys did, and yet I was always irritated that it was typically the manly man to be defending some poor hapless women. In Ninja Turtles they were always saving April. In Transformers there was one female autobot who's job was to take care of the kid. UGG!
Well, I married a wonderful husband and we have the types of arguments that only men and women have. We think and interpret ideas differently like science has confirmed. So I guess that I have a woman's brain after all. I just grew up with disregard to gender rolls. I even got my little sister to disregard gender rolls. Even though her mom girl'ed her up a lot when she was a baby to age 7, I managed to get her to stop crying for help whenever something unpleasant came her way, like an insect. I also got her to disregard all of those cooking, cleaning toys and baby dolls she was given when she was young. I have concluded is that religion made gender rolls so grotesque and prevalent in our society. I don't even think feminists can tell them apart.

webmdave said...

#3 wouldn't work with me around. I *LIKE* women to have a little something extra. (like the woman in the picture)

webmdave said...

"If you don't respect your partner, then there's not need to continue the relationship. I hate women who treat men like children, just like I hate men who abuse their wives."

Agreed.

webmdave said...

LOL! In the Opus Dei, we were obligated to wear itchy clothing that came in grotesque colors. I absolutely HATED wearing the long-ass "prairie muffin" skirts, long tresses, and "just enough make-up to look feminine but not a whore" (WTF?). All "numeraries" (those of us who would take vows of chastity, poverty and obedience) wore the uniform. We were going to be "married to Christ"....Oh that baby Cheeses and his holy harem of young witless girls!

When I left the cult, I went on a complete binge of self-discovery and realized that I alone am responsible for the way I CHOOSE to frame my sexuality, my body, my gender identity. The choice was MINE! I remember the THRILL of buzzing the tresses off, wearing boots, flipping off cat-calls instead of looking down, back-talking and not trying to please God the Father, God the Son or the next-door-goober, God-the-Gawking-Male. It was liberating!

The enemy was not lipstick but guilt itself! I gave myself permission to eat; to be sexual; to age; to wear overalls, a paste tiara, a Balenciaga gown, a second-hand opera cloak, or combat boots. I could cover up or go practically naked....I gave myself permission to do whatever I CHOSE in following, or ignoring, MY own aesthetic.

Amen, Ramen!

webmdave said...

I can see how the men would be okay with this, but did the women go along with it? I used to attend a church where they taught how to be a good wife and how to be a good husband. They taught that women should submit "because it says so in the bible." Women there said that they could only submit to the degree their husbands love them. The men seemed to be okay with that, citing mutual submission. I guess it was a somewhat moderate church. Still, ALL the church leadership was men. I dunno, I don't think men can tell women how to live their lives. What do they really know about the female experience? I suppose they don't care.

Religion is the perfect way to exercise male domination over women without taking responsibility for sexism, i.e. I'm not sexist, God is! Sexism exists regardless of religious affiliation, but religion turns it into a God-sanctioned institution and a tradition.

On some level, these men must be threatened by women's ability to bring forth life, because it would seem that women are closer to being like God-the-creator than men are. So the writer of the Adam and Eve story in Genesis writes that woman comes from man, not the other way around, lest he undermine his own manhood and god-likeness.

I think it's this same fear that makes Christian men want to control womens' reproductive rights. Maybe on some level, they can't stand this power that women have, and they can't stand that women are legally entitled to choose whether or not to use this reproductive power. How dare you choose not to have children! You are only as important as your womb! After all, the only thing I worship more than my dick is my God!

If Christians actually cared about women at all, they would go after unfair wages (don't tell me paying a woman less doesn't adversely affect her family, especially if she's a single mom), deadbeat fathers, abusive husbands and boyfriends, and rapists as hard as they go against women. But alas, they don't.

webmdave said...

BB -

I have to go back and watch all of the old 'Frazier' shows. From what I recall Frazier's Ex-Wife truly took after her name sake.....didn't he actually call her the 'spawn of the devil'? LOL!

Lilith Rocks! Eve was a pussy!

XPD

webmdave said...

Ugh... I am a military wife, and I am telling you - there is no talking to some of these women. Now, I have met a few wonderful women, (though so far all of them have gotten divorced...) but my neighbor for instance is the perfect picture of a submissive wife. She is 19, and pregnant. She was homeschooled and plans to homeschool her child. She told me that her husband has chores set out for her and she does them to earn an allowance. I kid you not. She said he is always so kind to remind her when she forgets (or maybe is just sick from being preggo). She said she won't let her kid(s) watch any tv or movies with characters that live together (while not married) or with any homo-sexual overtones. I just had to kind of blank stare and nod at her. She isn't the only one either. Two other wives around here talk about the chores thing, and a lot of it sounds like its really coming from the husband. I would laugh my ass off if my husband ever even suggested that I clean the house more, or have dinner ready earlier, or not let my daughter watch Family Guy (she's 2 what does she know anyway). I would laugh and probably hurt him lol.

The area I live in is a particular brand of military conservative Christianity. I have no friends (they all moved when they divorced their asshole husbands) and I can only hope that where we are sent next is a bit more open minded and less insane. I end up almost feeling like a bad housewife cause my house is usually in a state of disaster and I don't really like cooking and my daughter runs around naked drawing all over the walls. But then I remember how happy and healthy we all are and I forget about it :).

webmdave said...

That is a picture of a mink.

webmdave said...

Ironically, Lilith is a Hebrew myth. Eve is the honest-to-god-truth though. Heh, any person with half a brain can open up the first page of the bible and see that the origin story is hashed up into two stories. God created man, women and a bunch of things *scribble scribble* god made man, then a bunch of things, then women.
Uh huh.

webmdave said...

Another example of the ill effects and damage done by by evangelical fundamentalism - it encourages discrimination and a superiority complex wherein men see themselves as better than women, with God supporting this idea.

I'm quite certain that, if God does exist, he takes complete offense at this idea.

But it's no surprise that men who are raised in fundamentalist beliefs think this way. After all, all it takes is quick read of the bible to see where such ideas come from. The bible is literally brimming with such teachings, and women are portrayed as little more than property.

How any self respecting woman can read that book and not pick it up and throw it in the trash is beyond me. Seriously - if I were to write a book that advocated treating women the way the bible does, I'd be burned in effigy outside the first bookstore it appeared in.

Whether we are male or female, black or white, brown or yellow, gay or straight... we should all be treated with kindness, compassion, and equality.

Curiously enough, a study of the actual words and life of Jesus (from a historical/critical view, again, not the cosmic zombie of fundamentalism) seem to indicate that he would have clearly supported this position. The sad thing is, the people that claim to follow his ideals are usually the ones who struggle with this the most. ;)

I have no respect whatsoever for a man who would treat his wife or partner this way. Abuse is abuse, plain in simple - but when it's done under the claim of God's blessing, I find it substantially more offensive, and those men who adhere to such doctrine should be ashamed of themselves.

webmdave said...

Fat Stepford wives.
Would a totally obedient wife who doesn't think for herself be a good partner?
Would perfectly obedient children be any fun? Ooh, I get to hang out at church every sunday, Yeah!
All they talk about is Glory to god.
Have you ever tried to have sex with someone like that? Talk about ruining the mood. Yuck!
I've met many women like this, sad. I have no sympathy, they get what they deserve. It's the children I feel bad for.

webmdave said...

Fat Stepford wives.
Would a totally obedient wife who doesn't think for herself be a good partner?
Would perfectly obedient children be any fun? Ooh, I get to hang out at church every sunday, Yeah!
All they talk about is Glory to god.
Have you ever tried to have sex with someone like that? Talk about ruining the mood. Yuck!
I've met many women like this, sad. I have no sympathy, they get what they deserve. It's the children I feel bad for.