12/15/2009                                                                                       View Comments

Holy Baloney

by BillyBee

The Holiday Parade was last week. I couldn't attend, I had to work that day. The next morning I spied a curious object lying on the kitchen counter. It was a 1X2" piece of paper with a bible verse printed on it.

The piece of paper had been stapled to a candy lollipop. The scripture, Mathew 6:33, stated that we should "...seek first His kingdom", and then all our other earthly needs would be provided. That's what it actually said. I'm not making this up. It sounded pretty clear to me!

I then wondered about the people who are honestly and diligently seeking after the kingdom, yet their needs are NOT being met. I smiled when I realized the irony in the fact that this promise was attached to a sucker.

Maybe at next years parade they can toss out bible verses that have been seared into slices of baloney...?


15 comments:

webmdave said...

You scared me there for a minute. I thought you were going to go on one of those delusional discourses so many A of Gers have. Since you thank Sirius, I'll let you go this time. ;)

webmdave said...

I am an A of G'er Licensed Minister . . . at least until the end of the month when my license expires. I am so glad to be free of religion, fundies, and pentecostal nuts. Thank Dog!

webmdave said...

Young Life is a para-church organization (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_Life). It operates much like a cult in the methods it uses to recruit young people into its ranks.

webmdave said...

Is young Life a CuLT? Im sitting in A coffee shop and one table away a bunch of twenty somthing people are plotting strategy to get the local highschool people into YL overhearing there conversation Is making me feel upset in the gut. They keep talking about leaders and getting more kids into it I feel paronoid like im hearing a cults recruitment strategy. Im trying to Ignore them and distact myself but its hard to. I want to confront them but all theyll do is probabley tell me that they will pray for me.......................its like their plotting brainwashing

webmdave said...

Aww come on, it was "Righteous Removal" ... I'm sure it can be justified. "Sorry God, I did for you ... really"

webmdave said...

This reminds me of a moment in Bill Hicks' standup routine where he was like, "how are you supposed to make sex holy? Sing a hymn during it? Like, 'one stroke at a time, sweet Jesus?'" My cousin had a wedding like that where the pastor or preacher or whatever he was called who was marrying them kept saying, "This isn't just a wedding of A. and N., this is a marriage of A. and N. to GOD!" It was a hard wedding to sit through, and there was no booze at the reception to make it worth sitting through..hehe

webmdave said...

Guess that commandment doesn't count if it isn't Xian. *rolling eyes*

webmdave said...

So although female genital mutilation may not be a teaching of Islam, it could be an example of religion causing good people to do bad things.

I agree.

webmdave said...

Well, with the vandalism and then the theft, it is getting some publicity. I thought it was pretty funny.

webmdave said...

Billboard update: the billboard has been stolen.

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/659950...

Wow, amazing how powerful the images on a billboard can be -- so powerful they can drive xtians to break the 8th commandment. You know, that silly one that says "thou shalt not steal, well, except if you're christian and you don't like what you see, then by all means, do whatever you want in MY NAME" ... thus sayeth the lard.

webmdave said...

What is all this religious preoccupation with hymens and foreskins? Seems like such a strange fetish.

webmdave said...

Today my mother attended a funeral for a woman from her Pentecostal church. The woman died of cancer. When it was diagnosed early on, the woman went to a health food store, bought some herbal medicines and prayed to be healed. She refused medical treatment. She asked and did not receive. She left behind three children, a husband, and about ten siblings.
This is just one example of those whose needs are not being met.

webmdave said...

You know, I never looked up any of the bible verses listed on candy, rocks, signs at ballgames, etc. I've just always considered it advertising and have ignored it like I do almost all advertising.

webmdave said...

Mriana,

I don't know about the younger one, but the older one really does NOT feel she has control over herself. God does. And, in his name, her father. She has recently moved back home (christian college grad who did have a teaching job for several years). She has no confidence in herself, and has never been encouraged to trust herself and her own decisions, but to do everything that Dad and the church told her to do.

I know other kids who were raised like this and rebelled and became normal young people, with boyfriends, and lives of their own, and jobs and responsibilities. But, I also know one other young woman just like my niece, still living at home, afraid of doing wrong, at age 31. And that one was never even allowed to go to college because knowledge corrupts.

I don't know why they couldn't see how they were crippling their daughters. Those of us outside the immediate family could see it when they were still very young.

And, even sadder, I think--my niece has a wedding scrap book that she started when she was in junior high and keeps updated with wedding gown and cake photos and bridesmaids' dress designs. Yet, she's never had a date. Maybe she thinks god will send her the groom at the proper time. Sad.

webmdave said...

Re: Your candy cane link.

Ick.

I never have liked to eat candy canes. But, now they will always make me feel slightly sick to look at, as well.