RAMSEY COUNTY: Sunday school teacher sentenced for actions with teen BY HANNAH ALLAM Pioneer Press A Sunday school teacher who asked a 16-year-old boy to write "What would Jesus do?" on his penis will spend a month on work release, according to the sentencing agreement reached Tuesday in Ramsey County District Court. Todd Warren, 42, who pleaded guilty in April to a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure, was also originally ordered to write a letter describing the incident to fellow worshipers at Prairie Oak Community Church in Andover. But the church balked at the sentence, arguing that such a letter would be considered pornographic and would identify the teen-age victim. Although the church was not a party to the criminal case, Ramsey County District Judge Margaret Marrinan heard the argument Tuesday and instead allowed the pastor to write a letter to his 150-member congregation and simply keep Warren's letter in the case file. A note from the victim's mother suppo...

"For Dave so loved the world that he gave his only Son, Dave, that Whosoever believe in Dave shall not perish, but have eternal life in Daveness." Dave 3:16 In the beginning there was Dave. And Dave created the Heavens and the Earth. But the Earth was formless and Void of Dave. And Dave moved over the surface of the Non-Dave and over the Deep of Non-Daveness. Then, Dave said, "Let there Be Daves and their Daveness shall rule the World." And so it was that Dave separated the Daves from the Non-Daves, and the Daves were great with Daveness. And the Dave said unto the Daves of the Earth, "I have created you in My Own image and have blessed you with the Daveness of the Earth. Go, be fruitful and multiply the Earth with Daves that they may bear witness to the Non-Daves, that they Might be Saved." The Book Of Dave 1: 1-7 "And the LORD Dave caused a deep sleep to fall upon Dave, and he slept and he took one of his dave-ribs, and closed up the flesh. The rib ...

GAINESVILLE, Mo. -- A southwest Missouri man can have Jesus Christ as his attorney, but only one licensed to practice Missouri law will be allowed to speak for him during trial on charges he tampered with a judge. Defendant Richard John Adams, who described himself as a patriot and a Christian, told the Ozark County judge presiding over his case that under that ruling, he was "being restricted to the devil." Adams, of Branson, said he refers to lawyers as "devils" because he believes the Missouri Bar Association "created the Federal Reserve (news - web sites) through their unconstitutional statutes and case laws." Adams formerly associated himself with a militia and Christian Identity movement but has since said he's not a member of any group. Adams is scheduled to stand trial March 19-20 on two counts of tampering involving Ozark County Associate Circuit Judge John Jacobs of Gainesville. Adams, whose age was not available, requested Jesus Christ as h...

by Elroy Willis JERUSALEM (EAP) -- A burst hemorrhoid caused trouble at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher this week when a man who wanted to be cleansed of his anal affliction rubbed his naked bottom a little too vigorously on a slab of rock that Jesus is believed by some to have been laid and resurrected on. Spawned by reports of believers in Portugal being healed by exposing their bare behinds to the statue of a local saint, hemorrhoid-suffering Christians in Jerusalem have been flocking to the tombs of Jesus to rub their bums on various rocks, hoping to be cured like the people in Portugal. Others, like 35-year-old Shem Kalim, a Muslim convert to Christianity, traveled to Jerusalem from England after hearing the voice of Jesus one day during an especially painful episode of constipation which caused his hemorrhoids to flare up. "I tried praying to Allah to cure my problem, but He didn't seem to be listening to me. They actually got worse the more I prayed to Allah about them...

Countless designers have appropriated religious imagery in the name of fashion, but what footwear should you don with an iconic outfit? If you don't want to go barefoot and find Jesus sandals uninspiring, check out some of the religious footwear now available. Buffalo Boots has a new range of canvas baseball boots which includes one with an image of Christ in a crown of thorns and the message: 'Jesus would wear them' (£44.90). Alternatively, help spread the word in Shoes of The Fisherman flip flops, which leave the words Jesus Loves You across beaches and wet surfaces. ($19.95 + shipping and handling). Since it is sold in England, maybe it should say, "Walking with the bloody Christ."

article authored and submitted by Bruce White Bruce's article is also available HERE This short article will focus upon the nativity and infancy stories of Jesus, using exclusively, the Bible. All quotes are taken from the New International Version for clarity of modern readers. The problem with the Bible is that it claims to be internally validated and modern inerrantists insist that it the absolute, error-free, inspired words of the living God. Even non literalist Christians must presuppose that certain aspects in the Bible are factual, or the basis of Christianity has no basis. The following are what are considered fundamental events that this applies to: The physical birth of Jesus The physical existence of Jesus as a teacher/prophet The physical death of Jesus upon the cross The physical resurrection of Jesus As this article is short, I am only addressing the nativity/infancy narratives. The only evidence attesting to the actual life and work of Jesus is contained entirely in...

1TH 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: 17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. I have been receiving posts from various overly zealous Christians warning me to get my life straight with God before the RAPTURE happens. They have been telling me if I don't hurry up and repent, I will really regret it when all the Christians disappear!!! I also keep getting criticized for not knowing what I am talking about, and if I would just read the whole Bible I would understand. With that to motivate my mind, I thought it appropriate to spend some time on this popular "end times" doctrine of fundamentalism. Some of this will be old news to many of us, some of it will be new. I am assuming that most of the people reading this article are at...

If God planned everything, why did He plan for really bad things to happen? The Christian Response: The "Problem of Evil" is a philosophical stumbling block for many people. Many atheists attack biblical creation on philosophical grounds. The primary questions atheists pose are: "If God is real, and God created everything, why did He create evil?" "Why did a personal, loving God create a world in which evil exists?" "Why did God give man freedom to commit evil acts?" Atheists reason, "Surely, an all-knowing God of love would not allow evil to exist in His world." The response to the foregoing is summed up in God's nature and His desire for mankind. Look at the logic: How could God allow for love without the potential for evil? God could have created robots that do nothing more than forever say, "I love you, I love you, I love you." But such creatures would be incapable of a real love relationship. Love is a choice, and the...

"What happens after nature, reason and science have all been exhausted? It is a pretty dismal life that a non-Christian must live! You put faith in the the things of this world which are passing away. I am laying up my treasures in heaven." This statement, or something like it is a common apologetic thrown out at the non-Christian. Throughout the New Testament the idea is promoted that those who enjoy this present world are wasting their lives and will ultimately regret it in the world to come. Having a good time here and now comes at an extremely high price, namely what is termed in Xtianity as the "second death." While there are differing view points on exactly what "hell" is exactly, it is generally agreed that "hell" is separation from God in some way. Although God is supposedly omnipresent and there is nothing in existence which HE did not create or at least mandate and approve, yet somehow, where ever or what ever hell is, HE is not in it....

That is one of the lines that I myself used as a dispensational fundamentalist. I was taught and believed that the world situation was getting worse than ever before in history in anticipation of the coming of the Lord. I would hear about the general moral decay in society, or the impending doom of nuclear holocaust, or about wars and rumors of wars, or the increase in famines, earthquakes, and so on. I am sure that any Christian, or Ex-Christian reading this knows exactly what I am talking about. Is it true? Are things really getting worse and worse? If you say yes, what countries or time periods are you comparing to make that assessment? For instance, compared to the world of the United States in 1930, people live longer, Polio is no longer a threat to health, Pneumonia has a cure, many types of penicillin are available to wipe out sickness now which led to innumerable fatalities in 1930. Food is plentiful in the US now compared to 1930. Unemployment is not even an issue today, com...

When I was a Christian, I was constantly told that Christianity was unique and unlike any other religion. Although no other religion was every closely examined in any Church or Christian book recommended to me, still this was the message I was continually expected to accept. Below is a prayer of praise written in 240 B.C to OSIRIS, god of the Egyptians. The prayer is presented here verbatim without any alterations to the original text. As you read the words, replace the various names of deity with Christian terms and see how unique Christianity really is when compared to the competing religions thriving 2000 years ago. "Companies of the GODs" and the like could be "Heavenly Host" or "Angels". "Thou are the Soul of Ra" could be "Thou art the bright and morning star" or perhaps, "The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us." You get the idea. Is Christianity really all that unique? What do you think? THE PAPYRUS OF ANI - 240 BC ...

by Marshall Gauvin Scientific inquiry into the origins of Christianity begins to-day with the question: "Did Jesus Christ really live?" Was there a man named Jesus, who was called the Christ, living in Palestine nineteen centuries ago, of whose life and teachings we have a correct account in the New Testament? The orthodox idea that Christ was the son of God -- God himself in human form -- that he was the creator of the countless millions of glowing suns and wheeling worlds that strew the infinite expanse of the universe; that the forces of nature were the servants of his will and changed their courses at his command -- such an idea has been abandoned by every independent thinker in the world -- by every thinker who relies on reason and experience rather than mere faith -- by every man of science who places the integrity of nature above the challenge of ancient religious tales. Not only has the divinity of Christ been given up, but his existence as a man is being more and ...