The Bible for Dummies
By John Image by Brent Nelson via Flickr I was a Christian for a dozen years. The following is my attempt to summarize in a nutshell what I read in the Bible: God creates the universe. Billions of years later, he tells humans that he did it in six days: first the earth, then light, and then the sun and stars to serve as calendar. God forbids the knowledge of right and wrong to Adam and Eve . Then, he blames them for their wrong choice, and condemns them and all their offspring to death. Ever since Adam and Eve’s fall, God hides himself from most of mankind. But he blames anyone doubting his existence. God drowns all living creatures in a flood, including koalas, giraffes, kids and grannies, minus the eight members of Noah ’s family and couples of every species. Later, he provides the commandment “You shall not kill.” Abraham is willing to sacrifice his son at God’s command, and God praises his faith. Later, Jesus blames believers for blindly observing God’s commandments, sa...




