Jesus...f*** you
By Ian Hi Jesus. Jet me start out by saying F*** you. Yeah, that's right. F*** you. F*** you uncle f***er. What the f***? you ask. Allow me to explain. After careful consideration and a lot of thinking, I have come to the conclusion that you, as presented in the Bible and your followers, are a f***er. How so? Let's see. If people don't believe in you, you damn them to hell. Real nice and merciful. If you damn people to hell for not believing in you and thus harming your ego, then f*** you. If you damn people to hell for following Christianity, then f*** you. If you're going to damn ME for being a freethinker and a humanist, then you're a really psychotic son of God. Want to change your image Jesus? How about starting off by getting rid of all your spokespersons. Why not start with Billy Graham? He's a big motherf***er. I mean come on, wrinkly as a prune, thinks Satan is out to ruin the world, threatens us with hell if we don't believe, runs ...
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ReplyDeleteThe ironic thing I find about parodys of funamentalist rhetoric is that it often takes a bit to figure out if it's a parody or the real thing, lol.
ReplyDeleteNot surprising I guess, since they're really just parodying themselves over and over...
Is this guy a pro-atheist speaker at the atheist rally who is sarcastically highlighting the dangers of religion?
ReplyDeleteIs this guy a pro-atheist speaker at the atheist rally who is sarcastically highlighting the dangers of religion?
ReplyDeleteYes: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
Reading the "letters" section of landoverbaptist.org is absolutely hysterical. Makes me want to scream, Jesus Christ, people, don't you know what a f****** satire is???"
ReplyDeleteAlex
Yes, Landrover Baptist preaching is similar to Steven Colbert's approach. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteLandover Baptist has to be one of the funniest places on the web. I love it. Esp the Womens section where you get some mp3s of fundie women talking about hell, cathylicks and homosexurals! Or the article about "Tampons - Satans little cotton fingers" Or how about "does Jesus watch me go poopy?" Or "masturbation for christian men"
ReplyDeleteIt is quite simply unbelievably funny. Pastor Deacon Fred is the mutts nuts!
Duh, I knew all this. Thats why I'm an atheist!
ReplyDeleteI'm sending this via email to all my kids,.....thanks!
ReplyDeleteTheir fundie mom will appreciate it I'm sure.
i grew up in he united penticostal church. sounds like my old paster...will someone put a bullet in this guys crotch!! i want to puke!!
ReplyDeleteThis guy is great! This reminded me how much the church is like a dysfunctional family with an abusive daddy.
ReplyDeleteEveryone protects him because they're in denial and terrified of him.
It's so great to see people speak out and expose the horrible attributes of the bible-god!
GOLD!!
ReplyDelete