Headline: God orders bears to kill mocking children. Film at 11:00

Today’s comic was inspired by The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses on Cracked.com. Check it out, it's hilarious!

Anyway, Badass verse #8 refers to 2 Kings chapter 2, verses 23-24; the story of Elisha and the bears.

2 Kings 2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

2 Kings 2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

I wonder why they don’t teach this story in Sunday school…

Comments

Anonymous said…
Most of these atheist which are so called intellectuals and men of reason ...I don't understand how you are failing to grasp that these are just parables/stories and not neccessarily meant to be true. They are being taken out of context. It is true that God of the Old Testment was descrbied in different ways then the God of the new Testament but it is the same God and it's clear from the New Testament that God is good. God is unchanging and incapable of sin. Your misunderstanding of scripture does not change anything about the veracity or inerrancy of the Word.
Anonymous said…
(Response to anonymous) Well if these extracts are really just parables and stories then maybe the whole bible is just a parable and a story. There really is no independent way of judging which bits to drop or to keep. I guess genesis is just a story, and the flood, and Adam and Eve, original sin, and talking bushes, and virgin births, and maybe resurrections too? The new testament proves God is good? Well pardon me but promising to torch every non-Christian human being with eternal hell fire does not exactly inspire me with confidence.
Anonymous said…
you're missing the point. The main parts that the church tells, are true..(not just stories). But there are stories and parables WITHIN the bible to help illustrate points. It's neccessary for Genesis to be true. It's THE story of creation. God is Good. Hell is a result of MAN's sins. We are flawed and full of sin but through Christ we get salvation. But if you have questions about what really occurred and what is a parable your church can help you with that. It's difficult for man to interpret all of the bible thats why God created the church to help spread the word and clarify if there is confusion. It's good that you are asking the question though. But even if you don't know about some stories know that this one is true...Christ died so that YOU may live. Read John 3:16...that is as true as it GETS!!!!
boomSLANG said…
Christonymous: It is true that God of the Old Testment was [described] in different ways [than] the God of the new Testament but it is the same God and it's clear from the New Testament that God is good. God is unchanging and incapable of sin.

Let's see...

"God is unchanging"

"Old Testament"/"New Testament".[bold added]

Yes, yes..."unchanging".

Yet, one more blatant contradiction from Christian-land.
Anonymous said…
Boomslang. There is no contradiction. The people were different in the old testament and the new. They described God differently. God also acted differently to them because it was different times and different circumstances. Christ also brought the New Covenant. But God himself is unchanging. Where is the contradiction? Did I say God used to be a sinful murderer but now he isn't? No. God has always been sinless and unchanging. It's people that change. You may be young, but once you age you will see this in man.
Heretic Zero said…
The main theme of the bible is that forced prohibition of anything does not work even under penalty of death. Pass the kanibosum please.
boomSLANG said…
Christonymous...you're missing the point. The main parts that the church tells, are true..(not just stories). But there are stories and parables WITHIN the bible to help illustrate points.

And who decides what is metaphorical, symbolic, or parable...and what is literally "true"? What process do they use to distinguish between fiction, and "fact"??? It seems you are missing the point.

Christonymous asserts...It's neccessary for Genesis to be true.

What you mean to say, is that since you've determined that your beliefs are valid, a priori, that it is therefore, "necessary for Genesis to be true". What you've done, Christonymous, is you've essentially shot an arrow into the side of a Mountain, and then walked up and drew a "bulls-eye" around the arrow. Nice shot!

Christonymous continues...God is Good. Hell is a result of MAN's sins

**You are parroting what's been drilled into your head since child-hood. You have no basis for these statements, other than your religious up-bringing/religious indoctrination.

Christonymous...We are flawed and full of sin but through Christ we get salvation.

See here**, above.

Christonymous...But even if you don't know about some stories know that this one is true...Christ died so that YOU may live. Read John 3:16...that is as true as it GETS!!!!

Christ died? So, like, he's deceased then, right?..as in, not alive? That's odd, because most "True Christians" INSIST that "Jesus lives!!"

Let's clear this up once and for all---did Jesus die from that Roman execution, or not?

Christonymous(more recently)...Boomslang. There is no contradiction. The people were different in the old testament and the new. They described God differently.

Christonymous, the OT and the NT are commonly refered to by "True Christians" as "Old Law"/"New Law"...as in, the "Old Law"(i.e..."God's Law") is no longer applicable, hence, the "New Law".

Christonymous..Did I say God used to be a sinful murderer but now he isn't?

So, are you're saying that "God" still is a "sinful murderer"??? Or... are you conceding that "murder" is "sin", and that "God" didn't, doesn't, and never will, "murder"? Do tell.
Anonymous said…
"God is Good. Hell is a result of MAN's sins"

I am amazed at the stupidity and naiveness of christians.

Hell is the result of God only caring about his ego and what he wants. We are all a bunch of puppets for God's entertainment and stupid christians like you are dumb enough to entertain him.

So far Jesus still has not returned, and all Christians know how to do is run their mouths.

Christians are all about giving "Worthless Lip Service" with no power or credibility behind it. Nothing but cheap talk and nothing to back up their claims but some "Hear Say" book called "The Holey Babble". Too bad Jesus won't lend you christians a hand to help fight the good fight here on Planet Reality (Earth).

Even the bible has no power behind it. It is all a bunch of ancient writings with no power whatsoever.

I wonder when "Hey Zeus (aka) Jesus" is going to come back and give you guys a hand? He seems to not be in too much of a hurry.

Then again, I don't think "Hey Zeus" he really gives a damn about you christian peons, so keep running your mouths and proclaiming your good news. None of us will ever believe what you have to say, because we stopped living in the dark ages a long time ago.

You Christians are all a bunch of piss ants.
darthwonka said…
You know, I think about the 'miracles' that jesus claimed to have done and I still can't get past how similar they are to the stories of the Greek and Roman gods and other local legends.
He turned water to wine (cult of Dionysus)
He was born a virgin (Alexander the Great also claimed this)
Raising people from the dead (Apollonius of Tyana)

It seems to me that the gospels, written by unknown person/persons but attributed to their name sakes, were written as a 'our god can do what your god can do' letter. All based upon what scholars call the book of 'Q' and most likely the Gospel of Mark -- since it was deemed the oldest.

My brother still believes because he feels that christianity explains the human condition better than any other mindset. I disagree, myself.. But I would say that it does address the human condition as does all mythology. Nobody wants to die, we all want to escape to a paradise.. hell! I do! But really, in the end, it is just mythology and we have to learn from its lessons, grow, and live our lives as best as we can.

-wonka

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