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6/09/2003                                                                                       View Comments

In The Beginning... God Was Nuts!!!

by Mark Smith 1/31/91

According to the Bible, in the Book of Genesis, Biblegod created from mud and/or a rib, presto-chango, the innocents named Adam and Eve, and placed them in the middle of a wondrous playground called "The Garden of Eden". These two were literally babes in the woods. They would have been a hundred times more naive than any three year old around today. According to the story in Genesis (there are two contradictory ones to pick from, by the way) Adam and Eve were without any "knowledge of Good and Evil". Anyone could have told them to stick their hands into a fire, and they would have innocently done so without question or hesitation. In other words, they were the proverbial "blank slate" when it comes to gullibility.

But why is this the way it was? Christians claim these two were created perfect, with no faults or shortcomings whatsoever, and it was only thru their "free will" that they screwed things up; yet they suffered from the fault, the imperfection, the defect, of being gullible. Where did this intrinsic fault come from? A perfect being, such as Christians claim Adam was, would not have made an imperfect choice, otherwise he wouldn't be a perfect being. Who therefore, I wonder, would create beings with the built-in fault of being gullible- unless the Christians want to argue that being gullible is a virtue and not a vice? Of course, Christians praise being gullible ("unless one become as a little child...") and many televangelist base their business on Christians being gullible, but few would come out and call being gullible a virtue. Adam and Eve then, suffering from massive amounts of gullibility, were obviously NOT perfect, for perfect beings would not have been created gullible, and therefore would not have fallen for what the talking snake said. So much for the Christian claim that Adam and Eve, and not Biblegod, is to blame for the fall. Biblegod stacked the deck, created defective creatures, and set the whole row of dominos up for a fall. But I digress, back to the Garden of Eden...

What did the "loving" Biblegod set in the middle of their playground to catch their attention and arouse their natural curiosity? Why, nothing short of something guaranteed to kill them, and not only them, but every single one of their descendants for all time and eternity. Of course, he wasn't totally without normal human emotions- he did care enough for these two little kids to at least warn them not to taste the poison. Of course, having embedded the poison in a bright and shiny container rumored to look, smell, and taste just like an apple, some may doubt the sincerity of his warning to the kids.

After placing the poison, Biblegod left the playground, but he didn't leave the children unattended. He's too good of a loving parent for that. In his stead, he left his best friend Satan there alone with the kids, while he went off to hide in a bush and watch what was about to happen- that's how sick this god is. Of course, Biblegod being Biblegod, he knew exactly what was going to happen anyway, but he wanted to watch it in "real time", just for the fun of it. And yes, Biblegod could have stepped in at any time to stop the impending tragedy, but that just wouldn't have been as much fun for him, would it?

So there is Satan, all alone in the playground with the two kids, having been left in charge by Biblegod. Satan, the "Prince of Darkness", placed in the playground with the full knowledge and permission of Biblegod. It was certainly a top billed fight, a boxing match of epic proportions. Satan, the slickest "used car salesman" of the universe, --vs-- two trusting, innocent, sweet children. So Satan, disguised as a snake, walks up to the kids (snakes have legs, according to the Bible) and manages to sweet-talk the kids into eating an apple, in which poison had been hidden, NOT by Satan, but by the loving Biblegod himself.

Was this a fair fight? Did Biblegod do right? Millions of Bible Thumpers "think" so (Bible Thumpers actually don't think, they obey. "God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It"). Was it fair? Even Bible Thumpers would have the common sense not to employ Satan as a babysitter for their own kids, so why would they justify Biblegod doing the same for his kids? Because... they don't think.

Anyway, after the kids took the poison, Biblegod came out of hiding- not to give his kids an antidote, like any normal parent would have done, but rather a lecture- in actuality, a curse. He proceeded to curse Adam and Eve from here to eternity, up and down, blaming them for having eaten the poisoned apple that he himself mistakenly left out in the open. But it wasn't a mistake, was it? He knew all along what would happen- making it nothing short of premeditated murder.

If any Christian mother today were to leave her two little kids in the hands of a known child killer, and then hide behind a curtain and calmly watch as the crazed killer talked the two kids into drinking the poison, AND THEN DID NOTHING TO STOP WHAT WAS GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER EYES, most Christians would freely admit that the woman was at best nuts, at worst an evil murderer.

Any mother who would do such a horrific crime, regardless of how much she claimed to love her children, would in reality and practice be showing NOT love, but pure unadulterated evil and hate for her children.

Christians- wake up!!! The God of the Bible does not love you!!! He never did, and never will!!! How many atrocities will it take to get it through your thick skulls that any god that would do that to his own two children deserves not your love and worship, but your hate and disgust. In the beginning... God was nuts!!!

posted with permission of the author

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