I commited the unforgivable sin... I became a skeptic

sent in by Matt

I will start now by saying that I have not had a bad experience with Christianity. It made me feel good and it gave me an answer for the inexplicable. I don't blame people for being Christians, nor do I hate them when they 'witness' to me. I was one of them, too. Some of my best friends are still Christian, and most of my family is Christian, with a significant portion of them Fundamentalist.

My most intense Christian experience came when I just started High School. My youth pastor invited me to a Bible Camp. I happily agreed, and my life was suddenly changed. Looking back now, a whole week of nothing but the Bible is enough to brainwash a person, but at the time, the Truth was revealed to me. In my mind and heart, it was Jesus time all the time. And I felt complete. I felt like I was finally in on something great.

Throughout high school and the beginning of college, I was the leader of anything Christian in my community and campus. I led mission trips around the world. I prayed for colleagues, and became close friends with them. I even saw miracles. Even now, looking back, these were positive times in my life. I see them from a totally different perspective now, but I wouldn't trade my life's experience for anything.

Then I met her. Tiffany. I fell in love with her (we're still in love, btw), and she took a shining to me. But she was a Witch, and I was a Christian. I saw it as a challenge. She didn't want me to 'witness' to her, but she was perfectly fine discussing our differences and what we believe. She listened patiently as I told her about Jesus and all the historical evidence and how He was God and was resurrected and all that happy horse shit. She said, "Prove it."

I did my research, read the Bible even more, and I prayed for her. In the meantime, she told me about her doubts with the Christian faith (I won't go into them, there are too many to remember). I began to think critically about the faith and beliefs I had held as truth for so long. I began to see the world as a joke. Nothing should be taken seriously. Who cares about us anyway? We die, and that's the end. Nobody will remember me, and I love that idea. I just want people to quit controlling me, and I'll get out of their face in return.

Thus I heard the voice of our mother Eris, she what done it all, the Goddess of Discord. I don't worship her, though. I just give her lip service so she doesn't get bitchy.

The End

Rapid City
South Dakota
Christian since I was born
Left gradually from about 3 years ago
Was a Lutheran, United Campus Ministry, Methodist, etc...
Now a Discordian
I believed because it was the only thing I knew
I left becuase I actually thought about what the Church and the Bible was saying, and I was repelled by it.
Email: mattfred at gmail dot com

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