I have a wonderful lucky rabbit's foot. I don't know what I would do without it.
I try always to keep it with me.
My rabbit's foot is magical: I can ask it for anything I want, I can ask it to do anything I want, or to make anything happen, and it will make it happen. I can't explain how it does this, but I know, because it works. I have seen it work many, many times.
Of course, it only grants the requests that are best for me. Sometimes I foolishly ask for things that I shouldn't have, and so it wisely does not grant those requests. I have no idea how it "knows" what is best for me, but it does! It is a lot smarter than me, because a lot of things I ask for that I think would be good for me, it won't let me have them. So somehow they must be not good for me.
My rabbit's foot is also very protective of me. It keeps so many bad things from happening to me. I shudder to think of all the terrible things that would have happened to me if I hadn't had my rabbit's foot to protect me!
Once in a while, of course, my rabbit's foot does let something bad happen to me. That's to test me, to see if I will stop believing in my rabbit's foot. (I have to really, really believe in my rabbit's foot, because if I don't, it will stop working!) I guess it has to test me pretty often, because a lot of bad things have happened to me. But that's OK, because I do trust its better judgment 100%!
Some of them, I'm sure, are not the rabbit's foot's fault, but are caused by the demons and galactic aliens that would completely overcome me if it weren't for the rabbit's foot. It is just making sure that I don't forget that they are out there, waiting for me to give up relying on my foot for protection.
And sometimes bad things happen to me because I begin to think that it's silly to rely on a rabbit's foot so much. Boy, do I soon get reminded that I have to shape up! Usually the foot reminds me with some little thing, like making me spill a cup of coffee, or making me run out of gas, or sending a real bad thunderstorm. But I know! It's the foot, gently prodding me to trust it and not to stop believing!
But that's not the most amazing part about my rabbit's foot. I have thought a lot about it, and I realize that the reason the foot is so powerful is that the rabbit gave its life so that I could have its foot. I certainly don't deserve such a wonderful foot - I am fundamentally not a very good person sometimes - but the rabbit died for me anyway, so that I could have its foot with me always. And I'm sure that it has forgiven me for having had to die just for my sake.
But then I had to figure out how the rabbit could do that? And I did figure it out! That was no ordinary rabbit! That was some power or force that had entered into the rabbit so that it could be killed. And what power or force do you suppose could do that? It could only have been the very same power that made the whole world and everything in it. Isn't that awesome?
And now, get this! What is just about the worst thing that happens to anyone? They die. Well, do you think that my foot is going to let me die? Of course not! I'm sure that as soon as I die, my foot is going to bring me back to life, probably in a more wonderful place than I have ever been, where nothing bad will ever happen. That's what my foot will do for me (I am so fortunate)!
I can't explain it, and it's really amazing. When I tell my friends about it, they laugh at me, and tell me I'm superstitious and stupid, but I know that they are just jealous, and are trying to make me stop believing in my foot. No wonder bad things happen to them. And worst of all, when they die, they are going to stay dead and just rot. Ha Ha Ha!
But sometimes when I tell somebody about my foot, they are really interested and want to know where they can get a foot like mine. I've discovered that they don't really have to have a foot, as long as they believe in my foot. No matter where they are, they can ask my foot for whatever they need, and do you know what? My foot hears them and treats them just like it does me.
But they have to really believe that it will work, or otherwise it doesn't.
I feel so sorry for people who don't have a rabbit's foot.
- Richard Packham
© 2001 Richard Packham Permission granted to reproduce for non-commercial purposes, provided text is not changed and this copyright notice is included
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)