Happy Yuletide Cheer!


CHRISTMAS TIME IS PAGAN!
(sung to Gloria in Excelsius Deo or Angels We Have Heard on High)

(Long intro)

Christmas time is here again,
Decorations everywhere.
Christmas carols ringing out,
We're ex-Christian, we don't care.

(Short interlude)

Modern folks all celebrate
What they learned in Sunday School.
In December, they don't know
They are celebrating Yule!

CHORUS:
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!

(Short interlude)

Let them have their Christmas trees,
Decked in red and green and blue.
We rejoice to see the sight!
Christmas trees are pagan, too.

CHORUS:
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!

(Very long interlude)

Bowls of bubbly Christmas cheer,
Fill your cup and quench your thirst.
They think the tradition's theirs.
Wassail bowls were pagan, first.

CHORUS:
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!
Glo - o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - ho - ho... o - ho - ho - it's - hil - a - rious!
Christ - mas time is pa - gan!

Comments

Anonymous said…
That is most excellent.
More please.
Anonymous said…
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I laughed I cried When will they wake up +
Most excellent.You have my vote for post of the year.
In what category Webe
I also vote for Dave8
Post of the year
In what category Webe

Also may I be nominated in the category for most improved.???

What night are the awards to be held.?
Anonymous said…
Here's mine. Not only are we Pagans sick of having Xmas shoved down our throats -- My husband's birthday is December 25th. Just try buying him a drink... won't happen due to Xian blue laws.

Anyway, here's my song:

Sung to the tune of any 1940s or 50s movie Christmas song, in a chirpy overly-happy anphetamine-laced Doris Day / Sandra Dee falsetto voice while tap-dancing around horrid tacky plastic fake-snow decorations wearing a short red and white (Coca Cola advert) Santa minidress with little dingly bells on your ballet slippers. A chorus of overly-bright-eyed second-graders in the background could add very special heartwarming ambiance. And don't forget to smiiiiiile!

We're so glad Christmas is over,
Twinkly lights and tinkly bells, (tinkle! tinkle!)
We've eaten too much fruitcake,
It's been two whole months of hell.

I'm so glad Christmas is over,
We're sooo happy all the time (happy! happy!)
We're all so drenched in joy and cheer
And cutesy little rhymes.

I'm so glad Christmas is over,
It's not a "holiday tree" (oh, no!)
Tho' we stole it from the Pagans,
And pretend that it's unique.

We're so glad Christmas is over,
We're all so deep in debt, (jingle jingle!)
Our credit cards are maxed out,
The rum punch helps you forget.

I'm so glad Christmas is over,
We're all so very very blessed (tra-lah!)
Until the new toys are broken,
And Mom has to clean up the mess. Oh boy!

Why don't you celebrate Christmas?
You're a terrorist otherwise, (kaa-boom!)
See how happy happy we all are?
So dammit conform or die!

Why don't you celebrate Christmas,
You're the Grinch or Scrooge otherwise,
You see how we're all so HAPPY,
Excepting all the suicides. (boo-hoo!)

We're so glad Christmas is over,
Tho' the music is so very swell, (chirp chirp!)
They've been playing it since Samhaine
Yeah, it's been two months of hell!

Merry Christmas, everyone! You're compelled to say it back to me or I won't patronize your store and I'll write angry letters to the paper accusing you of being un-American, even if you're a Jew who fought for your country in wartime, or a Pagan who pays more taxes than six Christian families combined! Merry Christmas! Say it! SAY IT like a good little conformist robot! But we're HAPPY! See how very very VERY Happy we are! Happy! Merry! -- Ace
Anonymous said…
Hi to everyone I have gotten to know and love since my first visit back in June--Dave V, Dave8, South, Jim Lee, Jim Arvo, Dano, just to name a few, and I hope "Santa" has been good to you all!

I have been gone for a while and busy with family, and came in this evening to see what was going on. I thought there for a minute I had slipped into a christian site after reading a few posts on other threads! LOL I guess the xtians don't have enough to keep them busy during one of the most significant celebrations of their faith--they just have to browse around an EXCHRISTIAN site and offer their godly two cents worth!!! LOL

Seriously, I have learned so much here, and will continue to do so. Thank you all for being here when I need assurance in this cruel world that I am not alone as a non-believer!

My wish is that all of you have a wonderful, healthy, happy year to come. I am looking forward to many more posts, articles, and testimonies!
Love, the MadBuni.
Jim Arvo said…
Hi MadBuni,

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I hope you're having a nice holiday season too. Be well.
Anonymous said…
Hey MadBuni, hope your new year brings you happiness, nothing like "celebrating" the final week of this year, with cheer, as we seem to have lived through it... one more year down in our short lives, and humanity has survived one more year from the bitter intolerance and dogma of "exclusive" religion...

A "real" reason to celebrate as there have been "victims" of religious intolerance and psychological programming, who will not see next year... all over the world...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and to those on this site, as with communication and tolerance, I think we can make a difference in humanity, a noble goal to kick off our new upcoming year... its on my new year's resolution list :-) take care...
Anonymous said…
I've not visited here for a bit over a month. Today I'd made my way back to correct an old post of mine, when I saw this about Yuletide. Nice topic, great song. By the way, I hope everyone had a great time over the weekend.

Recently one of the comments for a film review I was reading stated the usual "Remember the reason for the season". Well, there are plenty of reasons, and none of them had to do with what the comment had in mind. He/She/It apparently didn't know that the 25 December birthday was stolen from the previous residents of the Vatican (along with the Vatican itself) by the Christians. http://www.askwhy.co.uk/christianity/0692Mithras.html says that
"The Vatican Hill in Rome considered sacred to Peter was previously sacred to Mithras. The cave of the Vatican was a Mithraeum until December 25, 376 AD, the birthday of the sun god, when a city prefect suppressed Mithraism and seized the grotto in the name of Christ. Mithraic artefacts found in the Vatican Grotto were taken over by the Church."

I'm guessing that since 25 December was such a popular date for celebrating one deity or other over much of the known world, they couldn't do away with it and so took it over. Add to that the triumph of having stolen away the Vatican from the Roman religion of Mithras on this very date, and it's easy to see how it became a real day to commemorate for them. Not unlike 6 December which was the day that the Goddess Artemis'/Diana's birth was celebrated until the Sinterklaas celebration (the same Saint who destroyed her temple) supplanted it.

December 6 signifies the triumph of Saint Nicholas over goddess Artemis as much as 25 December marks the triumph over Mithras. Having said that, I must admit that I still love celebrating Sinterklaas, especially for the yummy stuff. In Nederland, he wears the clothes of a bishop, complete with the Mithras cap suitably called 'Miter' as well as other pagan gear. I don't feel guilty about the Fir Tree though, because that's always been an important tradition and in the North it has nothing to do with Christianity.
Anonymous said…
Forgot to add that January 6 was the date of a more eastern festival that was commandeered too, like it says at http://www.askwhy.co.uk/christianity/0300Christmas.html#God’s%20Birthday
"The eastern Churches kept it on 6 January, now the Epiphany. The Basilidians celebrated Christ’s birthday on the 24 or 25 April. Other Christian sects celebrated it, so Clement of Alexandria informs us, on the 25 May.

Perhaps they believed that Jesus’s birth date was irrelevant—only his divine life was relevant and that began at his baptism. Sadly, they did not know the date of the baptism either and arbitrarily chose 6 January. Why? Because that date had long been associated with people bathing in blessed water. Followers of the god Osiris, the deity of the Nile, had held a festival, the “Festival of the Immersion”, on the river on 6 January from time immemorial. Christian Copts celebrate it still. The Hierophant poured holy water into the river and blessed it, then people bathed in it. The Greeks identified Dionysos with Osiris and so on 6 January the sacred waters were blessed in both the religions of Osiris and Dionysos! Epiphany is a continuation of these Pagan rites.

The Egyptian Gnostics known as Basilidians, seeing the immersion ceremonies as a symbol of the baptism of Jesus, celebrated it on 6 January and gradually Christians elsewhere adopted this date as the anniversary of the Jesus’s baptism. By 386 AD the two great Christian festivals were Easter, the festival of the crucifixion, and Epiphany when rivers and springs were blessed and water was drawn and saved for baptisms throughout the year. Aristides Rhetor in about 160 AD tells us that water drawn from the Nile at the “Festival of the Immersion” is at its purest. Stored in wine jars, he says, it improves with time just like wine. And so does the myth! Two centuries later Epiphanius writes that the stored water actually changes into wine! In Dionysos worship, water turns to wine on 6 January. The miracle at Cana when Jesus turned water into wine is celebrated in the Christian calendar on 6 January!"

Enough with my copying and pasting, I wish you all a Happy New Year in advance.
I missed coming here. There's a lot of testimonies to read up on over the next weeks, but I'm rather looking forward to it!
Anonymous said…
To all Losers on Ex-Christian:
Dear friends on Ex-Christian, I feel sorry for you on this auspicious day of Christmas. It is true that celebration of Christmas has pagan origins. But the birth of our Lord is a fact of history. Glorious God of heaven visited our planet in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. My joy knew no bounds to contemplate the truth that God so loved the world and sent His begotten Son to be our Savior. What a joy, what a hope!
On the other hand, you folks on Ex-Christian lost the joy of Christmas. You know nothing about the hope of Christ except cussing and fussing on this web site. What a bunch of pathetic creatures you are, spending your time in misery and loneliness on this blessed day of our Lord's birth. Take a break, my friends, repent and turn to Lord Jesus Christ, who loved you and died for you.
Anonymous said…
Paul says, wah~~~wah~~~wah~~~Please believe in Jesus...Paul...jumping up and down....please believe in Jesus...Paul...now laying on the floor....waving his arms and kicking his feet in the air....please believe in Jesus...Paul is having a tantrum...Paul is screaming to the top of his lungs...please believe in Jesus...Paul says please be as smart and wise as me...because I believe in Jesus....Paul says, I am so smart for believing in Jesus and I hope you all go straight to hell, because I Paul am so intelligent, I Paul, am so wise I chose Jesus to believe in...Paul says look at me Paul, I believe in Jesus...I am so much smarter and wiser and clever more than you Atheists...I Paul am going to heaven, but you Atheists are going to hell....look at me Paul, I am so smart and wise and clever...I Paul, am so self-righteous, god loves me, but god hates Atheists, I am so smart, I am I really am so smart, everybody look at me, see how smart and wise I am, look...look at me Paul over here, I am so smart and wise and clever, but you Atheists are dumb, not as smart as me and you're all going to hell, except me Paul, I am so smart and wise, because I believe in Jesus...wah...wah...wah
Anonymous said…
Hey, Paul, cheer up man. You don´t need a holy corpse. The sun will return whether you believe in him or not! :)

Shame on you for trying to spoil our fun, though. What a grinch you are!

But then, you blood-god people have never been big on simple joy.

Merry Yule, Paul. ;)
Dave Van Allen said…
To all Christians reading Paul's comments, Paul is a True Christian™:

1 Corinthians 16:22 (Today's New International Version) — If anyone does not love the Lord, let that person be cursed!

Thank you, Paul, for modeling the true spirit of Christianity at this joyous time of year and always.

Praise Jealous! And to Hell with everyone who is not exactly like Paul!
Anonymous said…
Paul,

You are so full of shit it’s a wonder you aren’t covered in flies. Is this how god commands you to talk with others, even those not of your faith?....Losers….you know nothing about hope…pathetic creatures…in misery and loneliness?

We didn’t come to the “Paul is a holier-than-thou, narrow-minded, bigoted and ignorant Christian” website and leave insulting messages for you.

Paul, I don’t need to take a break from anything. I have my whole family gathered around me this morning, we are as happy as a family can be, none of the family thinks we have to believe in a fairy tale in order to be happy, we have love, we have hope, we’re having a great time together, we even went to a Christmas service last night because we like the show and the music. So I didn’t miss anything you suggested that I did as an ex-christian. How sad for you. Your anger was wasted because we are not miserable.

Why don’t you be a good boy and go see what your mommy, daddy and Santa left under the tree for you, and leave the rest of us alone.
Anonymous said…
Yep, Christmas is Pagan, Hell is Pagan, tell me friend what is not Pagan? The Whole world lies in the wicked one (1.John.5:19). Even the picture that Christendom uses to portray Christ is Pagan. The Long Haired Greek God Zeus. Jesus Christ never wore Long hair. Christ through the Apostle Paul tells us. It is a shame for a man to have long hair.
Anonymous said…
Anonymous,

Unless you were there, how do you know Jesus didn't wear long hair?

Regardless of what is written in a book of dubious history, how can you say with any certainty WHAT the length of jesus' hair was?

You can speculate, hypothesize and guess, you can even cite words supposedly of Paul who never saw Jesus, but there is NOT ONE line of scripture that describes Jesus' hair.
Epicurienne said…
Bona Saturnalia....Happy Yuletide....Merry Solstice....or just celebrate a day off from work!
Anonymous said…
Hi, everybody. We're having a simply wonderful time here in Winnipeg. Weather is pleasant, lights are beautiful, and family and friends are happy and well.

We had a spectacular Jól party on Friday with ten of our friends and neighbours. Biggest damn lasagna I ever did see. And cookies. Lots of them.

Yesterday we partied with the parental units, and ate prime Rib, then sat down to watch Miracle on 34th Street.

This morning, my immediate family unwrapped our gifts. I gave myself a new computer, and also received a cordless drill and (courtesy of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) a pasta machine. Ramen!

And in about half an hour it's roast duck with orange sauce, washed down with a bottle of Henckell Trocken.

If this is "misery and loneliness," I'll take seconds, please.

I leave you with this little ditty, sung to the tune of "Silent Night"

*****

Have a good night
Laugh and delight
Sing a song,
Phone and write

Round the table we chatter and smile
Leave the winter outside for a while
Always time to make peace
Welcome and share in our feast

*****

Best of the season to all!
Astreja K. Odinsdóttir and family
Anonymous said…
What soothing balm to come to this site after Christmas bile.

Naomi
Astreja and all,
Merry holidays to one and all! We've been celebrating around the pagan tree and keeping the radio tuned to jazz! May I take advantage of this site and digress a bit here? I'm a single mom with little girl in NYC yearning for great gatherings of family and friends, and I truely hope this posting passes muster here and doesn't offend. Even in NYC it's not easy to find our kind! Please look me up on freethinkersmatch.com. User name is Naomi. And I continue to enjoy this bracing, honest, good-hearted site!

Naomi
Anonymous said…
I love all the great songs! Happy Yule to all the fundies!

Thanks to all here and here's to a great year ahead!

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