These articles were published between January 2001 and February 4, 2010.
To view more recent posts, go to The Main Blog at ExChristian.Net
These articles were published between January 2001 and February 4, 2010.
To view more recent posts, go to The Main Blog at ExChristian.Net
Comments
If this is what they have to show atheists, then they have nothing to fear.
Oh, oh, I get it... God designed the banana, and the rest evolved :)
Alex
(I know, I'm not making sense. I'm just trying to lower myself down to their level. ;))
I know of one fruit that was made perfect, tomatoes. Because when rotten, they're good for throwing at idiots.....like these two.
Dan ( Who was created because the Dano sperm swam faster than the rest)
Does the world really need yet another website saying "accept Jesus or go to hell" ? I know i'm sure sick of them.
The fear tactic is ugly, and rear's it's ugly head there, just in a fancy, flashy website.
Hey Ray! Stick my banana in your mouth!
No you don't! You are just trying to get brownie points from your biblegod. Not to mention, MY life is MY business.
"We're not perfect and I'm sorry for those so-called "Christians" whom have given you a bad taste in your mouth."
You can not possibly apologize for someone else. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.
How dishonest and insincere....
I can´t be the only one who immediately thinks this should be the name of a very kinky porn site.
(And that would be the healthier option in this case...)
Bananas... I love bananas. But then I never denied my simian ancestry, still walking somewhat hunched and having arms which are about two inches too long.
Bananas. Aren´t they like the Smothers Brothers? But they were COMEDIANS. They would have done something like this, but satyrically.
I can´t believe these guys sometimes. How can they take themselves seriously?
At least Ken Ham openly admits his arguments for creationism are moralistic: "No God, no morals". Which is also mistaken, but at leats he admits to a fundamentally emotional basis for his views.
"The banana proves the genius of God."
A thousand ugly reactions spring to mind. One of them is based on the resignation of a Mexican mayor, who laid down his function after his constituants expressed a lack of faith in his capacities. They expressed their feelings by holding him down and forcing him to consume twelve pounds of bananas.
"It´s not going in that end, old boy."
And here I thought the smooth tapered end was for slipping in tight places. ;)ROTF
Now I understand the term brainless idiot.
And be sure to make that 'o' shape with your mouth when you shove a banana in there. It makes god feel all tingly.
http://www.godlessbastard.com/Page.html
Just another couple of idiot Christians trying to make a buck in the name of God...quacks.
From Wikipedia:
"In 1502, Portuguese colonists started the first banana plantations in the Caribbean and in Central America. As late as the Victorian Era, bananas were not widely known in Europe, although they were available via merchant trade."
Also, concerning the "indicators of inward content," the Brazilians I know eat 'em when they're very black.
Why are all apologists so profoundly stupid?
I find him interesting for I see bi-polar all over this guy.
**** check out Doyle Davidson ,man this guy is losing it bad,....he was preaching under the influence two days ago,..falling off the stage,and totally incoherant.It was freakin funny as hell!
Take a closer look at the story of Adam and Eve. Original sin was the act of thinking for one's self.
Exactly. Amazing how it was the tree of knowledge of good and evil in that myth! God hates intelligence!
Wake up, Jeff!
Banana Phone By: Raffi
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/bananaphone.html
Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone
It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,
It's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, Modular, Interactivodular!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone
It's no baloney, it ain't a p(h)ony
My cellular bananular phone!
Don't need quarters, don't need dimes,
to call a friend of mine!
Don't need computer or TV,
to have a real good time!
I'll call for pizza. I'll call my cat.
I'll call the white house, have a chat!
I'll place a call around the world, operator get me Beijing
-jing-jing-jing!
Now tell me how an atheist can argue against the complexity of the banana phone it just can't be done. (Sarcasm)
haha
Dear Kirk,
As an Atheist, I would like you to explain the following:
"Never again do you need to be intimidated by an atheist. Learn how to prove God's existence and effectively witness to these so-called 'intellectuals'."
Please tell me why you feel it necessary to both insult ("so-called 'intellectuals") and witness to me? What troubles you so much that you had to make a video of said subject? Do you find Atheist's to be immoral, evil? Do intellectuals frighten you? Do you even know the meaning of Atheism? I'm curious.
Kindest regards,
Sean
Kirk Cameron
http://kirkcameron.com/
IT IS REAL,
its a narative based reality that means you can Choose your faith and your beliefs.
If you WANT to BELIEVE then you WILL.
Believing is the choice of man, I want to believe but when I read all the packets they all seem to have the same ingredients!
Our culture and leaders Bring us the TRUTH and we ACCEPT it because WE WANT TO BELIEVE and it's just too hard not to.
That's why TV works "it's all true"
the worlds is complex out perceptions are complex
Religion is SIMPLE
Just like a Bannana!
Now go make your own Narrative based Reality,
If God allowed Adam and Eve to eat only "seed bearing fruit", then the "forbidden fruit" had to have been a fruit that produced no seed in itself. This fruit most likely would have been the banana, since the banana does not bear seed in itself. Thus, the very fruit that these mind-controlled cultists use to prove God's existence is (according to their bible) the very thing that supposedly damned them in the first place!
John Blatt
LOL. This has to be one of the most fatuous fundie funnies ever!
If indeed natural selection was true, these 2 clowns would have never existed on this earth.
Damn, there goes my faith in not having faith!!!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5479410612081345878
it was really nightmarish to discover these guys weren't joking!
it's a dead serious creationist television show.
this isn't about deism vs. atheism anymore. this is about a great part of the american society in this modern world without any relationship to what they ironically claim to worship:
the universe aside modern men, nature and its history and complexity.
it just struck me because their "proof of god" proofs only that most americans know very little of the world apart the products they consume:
they compare a banana with a coke can and because the can has a builder (yeah pepsi) and the banana doesn't it obviously is the work of a great deity.
this is sad and totally ignoring the fact that even a normal pepsi can marks the end of thousands of years of technical evolution - which is in terms of seeming "incomprehensibility" comparable to nature's evolution that brought us the banana.
even the banana is the result of a looong time of human breeding - you prolly wouldn't recognize a normal, original banana.
you guys should really teach your children history, show them nature, feed their curiosity! then you might get rid of this horrendous crowd.
The Banana: The Christian's Nightmare
We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good--and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.
Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of dildos and vibrators.
But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?
God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then god certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as god is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.
So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving god that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.
The banana...
1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the vagina to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human penis, it is perfectly shaped for the human vagina.
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the G-Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the vagina isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's penis keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your vagina. (How many women want a limp, mushy penis anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent vaginal matter (or fecal matter, in the case of god's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the vagina.
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.
To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.
We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good--and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.
Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of dildos and vibrators.
But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?
God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then god certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as god is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.
So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving god that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.
The banana...
1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the vagina to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human penis, it is perfectly shaped for the human vagina.
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the G-Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the vagina isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's penis keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your vagina. (How many women want a limp, mushy penis anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent vaginal matter (or fecal matter, in the case of god's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the vagina.
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.
To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.
:) From: http://www.atheisteye.com/thegodlessbastard.htm
Post a Comment