Hearing the Voice of GOD

I was doing a little Internet surfing when I came across this article on “Hearing the Voice of GOD” The full article for anyone mildly interested is here: http://www.layhands.com/HowToHearGodsVoice.htm

The parts of the article that grabbed my attention as I scanned it, I just have to comment on. It would be quite entertaining on a parody site, such as Landover Baptist Church, or something similar. However, this is not a parody as the author or authors of this site are serious about this stuff. Look at the following two paragraphs quoted from the article.

Another way that the Holy Spirit guides us is by giving us a "check" in our spirits when something is wrong, and by giving us an "inner witness" when something is right. I will try to describe how I experience these things, but please realize that you might not be able to fully relate to my descriptions. When you learn to recognize the "check" and the "inner witness" within yourself, you might describe them in a very different way than I do.

Here's an example of receiving a "check" in my spirit. My wife and I hadn't been out together in awhile, so one day we wanted to take our three-year-old to the babysitter and then go see a movie. The Lord doesn't let us see 'R' rated movies or even most 'PG-13' movies, so I had narrowed down the list of movies to two or three that seemed like possible candidates. I asked the Lord if it was all right for us to see the first movie, and immediately a faint "sick to my stomach" sensation began to rise up within me. I have learned that this is how I experience a "check" in my spirit, so I thanked the Lord for His guidance and said that we would not go to see that movie. Immediately that sensation dissipated. I asked the Lord about another movie, and immediately a "good" sensation, sort of a happy, loving, even "tickly" sensation rose up in the area of my belly, which I have learned is the way that I usually experience the "inner witness." I thanked the Lord, and the sensation immediately dissipated. As you can see from this example, the "check" is like a "no" answer from the Lord, and the "inner witness" is like a "yes" answer from the Lord.

I would like to thank Christians like this for their extremely screwy ideas. If it weren’t for these poor deluded souls promulgating such asinine gibberish, I might still be a Christian today. Fortunately, most Christians are so full of doctrines and teachings like this to relegate them to a very high degree of inconsequence in the real world. Imagine if people like this were in charge of the affairs of men. Talk about your Dark Ages!

By the way, just before I left Christianity, I made the amazing discovery that I, yours truly, am GOD! Yes, that is right, I am GOD! I know this, because one night, on my knees, praying fervently for the salvation of my friends and family, it came to me like a flash of lightning. I realized for the first time that I was not talking to a deity somewhere in the heavens. No, I indeed was not invoking the favor of the divine overlord of the space-time continuum. No wrestling with spiritual darkness was taking place. I knew, deep in my heart, with a confidence that is best described as enlightenment, or perhaps revelation knowledge, that I was merely talking to myself.

One last quote from the article: " Also keep in mind that when God speaks to you, it will not always make sense to your brain."
Boy aint that the truth!

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