A Prayer for Haiti
By the Avangelism Project
Scary how easy it is to come up with pious sounding words that simultaneously play on guilt and pride when you know the jargon.
Dear Holy Father God in heaven,
We look at the devastation in Haiti with horror and confess to sinfully wondering why and how you would allow this to happen.
Yet we know that indeed your ways are higher than our ways and your thoughts higher than our thoughts. Forgive us, merciful father, for our presumptuous questioning of your divine and perfect ways.
We confess it is that very sinful desire to be as God hatched in that first Adam’s heart that wrought sin and death and despair into this world. And we rejoice that second Adam, the Lord Jesus Christ, has conquered the very sin and death that horrifies us this day.
We delight, Father than in Christ, all things—even those things we cannot understand, even those things that horrify us, even those things the wicked would use to besmirch your name—indeed, Holy God, that ALL things work together for good for those that love that same Lord Jesus Christ and are called in him according to your glorious purpose.
In Him, Father, we pray for your divine grace to shine forth and for your glory to be revealed unto men. We pray that in this tragedy the wisdom of men may be made foolishness, that sin and death may be swallowed up in victory, and that every knee might bend and every tongue confess that Christ is Lord of all things, to the praise of your glorious grace.
May it be so for Christ’s sake, by whom, in whom, and for whom all things were made and through whom all things continue to be. Now and forever.
Amen.
What do you think? A lot of manipulation, huh?
Scary how easy it is to come up with pious sounding words that simultaneously play on guilt and pride when you know the jargon.
Dear Holy Father God in heaven,
We look at the devastation in Haiti with horror and confess to sinfully wondering why and how you would allow this to happen.
Yet we know that indeed your ways are higher than our ways and your thoughts higher than our thoughts. Forgive us, merciful father, for our presumptuous questioning of your divine and perfect ways.
We confess it is that very sinful desire to be as God hatched in that first Adam’s heart that wrought sin and death and despair into this world. And we rejoice that second Adam, the Lord Jesus Christ, has conquered the very sin and death that horrifies us this day.
We delight, Father than in Christ, all things—even those things we cannot understand, even those things that horrify us, even those things the wicked would use to besmirch your name—indeed, Holy God, that ALL things work together for good for those that love that same Lord Jesus Christ and are called in him according to your glorious purpose.
In Him, Father, we pray for your divine grace to shine forth and for your glory to be revealed unto men. We pray that in this tragedy the wisdom of men may be made foolishness, that sin and death may be swallowed up in victory, and that every knee might bend and every tongue confess that Christ is Lord of all things, to the praise of your glorious grace.
May it be so for Christ’s sake, by whom, in whom, and for whom all things were made and through whom all things continue to be. Now and forever.
Amen.
What do you think? A lot of manipulation, huh?
Comments
Why? - because you forgot to add the completely redundant word 'just' almost every time you say the word 'we', as in 'we just pray', and 'we just ask'
If it weren't so darn pitiful, it would make a great comedy routine. Oh, what the heck -- it DOES make a great comedy routine.
I still crack up over Saturday Night Live's Church Lady.
I just heard a speaker at the Little League pre-game thanking God that the earthquake didn't happen to us, and praying that there would be no tragedy or loss of life for the ball players. I wonder if at anytime it occurred to her 1) how that would sound to the Haitians to which it did happen and 2) where was God's protection for the thousands of Haitians who died. The latter point certainly did occur to me after the 2004 tsunami, at which time I was still a Christian.
i figured if i waited for the chubby burger/chicken consumers to waddle out and pointed out to them all that was ridiculous about that statement. i"d probably get one of two things: the glazed over "grazing cow stare" which makes me wonder if they understand english. or, i would get the "get back frum me satan stare" which they would continue to give even as they drove away in their chubby minivan.
'Our father, which art in heaven
We just ask for your name to be hallowed
We just want your kingdom to come....
When you think about it, aren't prayers like the one above really little more than additional preaching by the pastor - directed more at the congregation than at God, while using the added sanctity of a prayer to give it extra weight.
www.landoverbaptist.org for their article on the Haitian disaster.
Of course its satire, but it sounds so typically fundie its almost
scary.
Great post.
Gee whiz, why not make it short and sweet and just say, "Dear Heavenly Father, Please help the people in Haiti. Comfort them in their time of need. In Jesus Amen"? Short, sweet and to the point without all the crap in between. It was what I did when I prayed. oh and... "It worked too!" lol
Here's the prayer from the beginning of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:
CHAPLAIN: Let us praise God. O Lord,...
CONGREGATION: O Lord,...
CHAPLAIN: ...ooh, You are so big,...
CONGREGATION: ...ooh, You are so big,...
CHAPLAIN: ...so absolutely huge.
CONGREGATION: ...so absolutely huge.
CHAPLAIN: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CONGREGATION: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CHAPLAIN: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
CONGREGATION: And barefaced flattery.
CHAPLAIN: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
CONGREGATION: Fantastic.
HUMPHREY: Amen.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
Here's the prayer from the beginning of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:
CHAPLAIN: Let us praise God. O Lord,...
CONGREGATION: O Lord,...
CHAPLAIN: ...ooh, You are so big,...
CONGREGATION: ...ooh, You are so big,...
CHAPLAIN: ...so absolutely huge.
CONGREGATION: ...so absolutely huge.
CHAPLAIN: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CONGREGATION: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CHAPLAIN: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
CONGREGATION: And barefaced flattery.
CHAPLAIN: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
CONGREGATION: Fantastic.
HUMPHREY: Amen.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
Gee whiz, why not make it short and sweet and just say, "Dear Heavenly Father, Please help the people in Haiti. Comfort them in their time of need. In Jesus Amen"? Short, sweet and to the point without all the crap in between. It was what I did when I prayed. oh and... "It worked too!" lol
One more thing, even when I was a Xian, AP, I got bored with such droning prayers and quit listening. My mind digressed into my own world. So you lost me after the first few sentences, even now.
Great post.
To be the most offensive/funny, all of the below is to be said in a very reverent tone.....
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King's horses
and all the King men couldn't put Humpty together
AMEN
(particularly offensive during religious days such as xmas, easter, thanksgiving, etc.)
www.landoverbaptist.org for their article on the Haitian disaster.
Of course its satire, but it sounds so typically fundie its almost
scary.
When you think about it, aren't prayers like the one above really little more than additional preaching by the pastor - directed more at the congregation than at God, while using the added sanctity of a prayer to give it extra weight.
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