10/13/2008                                                                                       View Comments

The Man With No Eye

My family's spiritual journey By Sam Singleton

We took up with Brother Vernon Redstart's little band of pilgrims meeting in one end of the Quonset hut, out on the River Pike, where he had his auto repair and salvage business. The Glorified Temple of the Blessed Redeemer. That's where I saw Ronald Coyne, the Man With No Eye. And of all the people that ever frightened the feces out of me, he produced the greatest amount in pure poundage.

If my family's spiritual journey had been an actual trip, we'd still have been driving some beat up old heap like the Chevy. Our spiritual journey was just like that car, all crappy. And no matter how many times we had to get out and push, always in the rain or snow, my folks wouldn't quit and admit that they had no fucking idea how to get where they were going or if their destination even existed. My father would be the only one driving and he'd all the time be getting mad about something he heard or saw along the way and just take off in a different direction. The tires would be bald and the engine would be burning oil and knocking and the brakes would be bad and he'd be barreling along narrow winding roads with all of us in there with him and we weren't supposed to say anything.

Ronald Coyne, the Man with No Eye, flung himself headlong into our path and what followed would trouble my sleep for years to come.

When Ronald Coyne was a little boy in Oklahoma he lost his right eye on a barbed wire fence. But god had fixed it so that he could still see from the empty socket, or that's what he said. Now you might think that having the sight in his poked-out eye restored would be enough. But where everybody else could see only a hideous oddity, Ronald Coyne saw a killer gimmick and a god-given competitive advantage when it came to beating other crooks and charlatans out of the nickels and dimes of the trusting poor. He figured out the great truth of evangelism, which is, you can get total strangers to cover your cost of living even if they can't pay their rent or buy food for their children.

That's how Ronald Coyne wound up at the Glorified Temple of the Blessed Redeemer. It was a Sunday morning in August. Brother Redstart dispensed with the usual order of worship and turned the service right over to the evangelist.

Ronald Coyne went through his story about getting his eye poked out and how god fixed it so that he could see without it. And in case anybody had any doubts, he asked for a couple of volunteers to assist him in proving that the same god that healed the blind man at the gate could heal a little one-eyed boy in Oklahoma. My father and Brother Hobart stepped right up. He had them bind up the right side of his face with a bunch of gauze and adhesive tape. Then he popped his glass eye out and held the eyelid open so that everybody got a good look at the empty socket. There wasn't but a couple dozen people there, but he definitely had everybody's attention. Everybody else looked away when he came down the aisle, but I stared straight into that hideous hole. He got back up to the front and told Brother Hobart to give him anything at all to read. And Brother Hobart fished around in his billfold and came up with a card.
"Redstart's Auto Reclamation. Mason Star Route. Nunley, Arkansas."

Half the congregation come up short, gave a kind of a gasp, and the rest went to praising god like he'd just got back from a long trip.

Ronald Coyne said to my father, "If you would hand me the bible where you opened it there."

The Man with No Eye was not a good reader but everybody was too busy crapping themselves to notice.
"Matthew 15:14. 'Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.'"

I know for a fact that my folks put a fiver in the offering basket. Quintuple their the usual offering.

A new series premiered on the Bad Dream Network that night, featuring a one-eyed Okie monster in a Robert Hall suit.

Part of what bothered me was that god's approach to miracles was exactly as half-assed as my father's approach to working on cars. When my father lost the key to the trunk, which he always did early in his relationship with any automobile, rather than having a new key made, he would just gouge out the lock, so he could thereafter open it by poking a screwdriver into the big ugly hole. And god, rather than keeping Ronald Coyne from getting his eye poked out in the first place, or healing his original eye, or giving him a new one altogether, leaves this ugly-assed empty socket. It still works, but nobody's ever gonna compliment you on its looks.

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28 comments:

webmdave said...

You Fool
If God had just healed his eye, his testimony would be minimal and forgot about in a short while. Because God gave him this miracle, this testimony touched thousands of people over many years. Do you think after that he was to just go to work in a textile mill or something ? He had a great opportunity to reach thousands for the Lord through this message. He received offerings to conduct this travel and work. Do you not give money your pastor to teach you?

webmdave said...

Love an Atheist!

webmdave said...

jcosh448" "You Fool"

*ahem* I strongly suggest that you read Matthew 5:22.

Oh, and what part of EX-Christian do you not understand?

webmdave said...

I really thought Jcosh488 was kidding. That is the goofiest comment I have ever seen and I have seen a lot of comments.

webmdave said...

So how did he see without an eyeball?

webmdave said...

It was an ongoing Miracle as I saw it with my own 2 eyes in an
rw shamback tent revival meeting with ronald coyne / life is pretty
simple / you can decide for yourself which thief your gonna be
you are one or the other / and sure you may dare to die on an old
rugged cross / but your still a thief cuz your NOT the one in the
Middle John 3 / 16 & 3 / 17 <<<<<<<

webmdave said...

lwest7716: "It was an ongoing Miracle as I saw it with my own 2 eyes..."

Eyes, and minds, can be deceived.

"you can decide for yourself which thief your gonna be
you are one or the other..."

False dichotomy, and slander. Go away, you deluded lunatic.

webmdave said...

Nothing false about the Truth / People who believe don"t need any proof
and people who don"t , well proof isn"t enough .

webmdave said...

You Fool
If God had just healed his eye, his testimony would be minimal and forgot about in a short while. Because God gave him this miracle, this testimony touched thousands of people over many years. Do you think after that he was to just go to work in a textile mill or something ? He had a great opportunity to reach thousands for the Lord through this message. He received offerings to conduct this travel and work. Do you not give money your pastor to teach you?

webmdave said...

Bob Jones University

webmdave said...

Ah, the ole' "read while blindfolded" trick, being used to prove a miracle from gawd this time (not to mention to collect $$$$).

I bet he wouldn't be able to read a thing, if >> I << covered his one good eye.

ATF (Who wonders if a certain on-the-fence-xtian visitor, is reading this new eyeball story?)

webmdave said...

Ah, the ole' "read while blindfolded" trick, being used to prove a miracle from gawd this time (not to mention to collect $$$$).

I bet he wouldn't be able to read a thing, if >> I << covered his one good eye.

ATF (Who wonders if a certain on-the-fence-xtian visitor, is reading this new eyeball story?)

webmdave said...

Brilliantly written! Such imagery...I think you should publish!

webmdave said...

Dear Brother Chucky,
You are very kind.
Love,
Brother Sam

webmdave said...

Dear Tooth,
Ronald Coyne became hugely obese and died wedged between the toilet and wall of a motel bathroom. No shit.
Love,
Brother Sam

webmdave said...

Where are the amputated limbs growing out,the burned off flesh new skin bodies, and of course the classic dirt and spit new eyeballs?Jeezus said we would do greater things then he?---Where?What?When?

If there was just one true creative miracle taking place anywhere,there would be a million people show up in one day!Freakin con artist ministers are the lowest scum on earth.I know I used to work for one.

webmdave said...

Dear Brother Freedy,
As Brother Sam's daddy says, That's good preaching.
Love,
BS

And Besides: WV Grant, Gene Ewing? And at least another dozen I can't think of right now? The Metroplex has long vied with Tulsa for the distinction of having most evangelists' headquarters among US cities. Kinda makes your heart swell with civic pride, I'll bet.

webmdave said...

Dear Brother Freedy,
As Brother Sam's daddy says, That's good preaching.
Love,
BS

And Besides: WV Grant, Gene Ewing? And at least another dozen I can't think of right now? The Metroplex has long vied with Tulsa for the distinction of having most evangelists' headquarters among US cities. Kinda makes your heart swell with civic pride, I'll bet.

webmdave said...

Benny the Hinn moved his headquarters here from Orlando Fla.about five years ago.
He's the biggest scumbag evangelical thief ever! If all the mega-churches and para-church ministries were destroyed in Dallas/Fort Worth our economy would collapse.

Sometimes I really hate this place.The only place worse than this is South Carolina,where the other half of my family lives.

webmdave said...

Yup,They just put out an "I'm a believer"state wide pro-faith license plate in S.C..It's a disgrace!

*Not to mention unconstitutional.

P.S. I have samples of Pastor Deacon Fred from Landover Baptist on my website,check it out.--peace.

webmdave said...

Sam Singleton Atheist Evangelist herewith confers his official blessing on Pastor Deacon Fred and Landover Baptist Church.

webmdave said...

Why can't us humans realize that gods are man made.

webmdave said...

. . . and that they're not necessarily man's best work.

webmdave said...

I have met Coyne several times, I know for myself, good eye taped completely, he read my dry cleaning ticket, drivers license, etc, perfectly. I know his uncle and niece personally. They walk the walk.

Have you ever read the clinical documented evidence of heart surgeons such as Maurice Rawling's and Dr Moody of the death experiences, read for yourself before you judge. Rawling's: To Hell and Back: Startling new evidence, and "Beyond Death's Door". Moody and other M.D.'s have this evidence also, which you can Google to find.

The problem withe Atheism is it's not a valid postion as it is not intellectual, but only emotianalism.

webmdave said...

I have met Coyne several times, I know for myself, good eye taped completely, he read my dry cleaning ticket, drivers license, etc, perfectly. I know his uncle and niece personally. They walk the walk.

Have you ever read the clinical documented evidence of heart surgeons such as Maurice Rawling's and Dr Moody of the death experiences, read for yourself before you judge. Rawling's: To Hell and Back: Startling new evidence, and "Beyond Death's Door". Moody and other M.D.'s have this evidence also, which you can Google to find.

The problem withe Atheism is it's not a valid postion as it is not intellectual, but only emotianalism.

webmdave said...

Joe: The problem withe Atheism is it's not a valid postion as it is not intellectual, but only emotianalism

I guess it must be "reverse day" on the internet today huh?
Who knew !

Speaking for myself (and probably many other atheists to), I can tell you that my 'emotions' had NOTHING to do with my conclusion that no gods exist.
It was purely from a total lack of evidence for any gods, that I came to that conclusion.

As far as your testimony about Coyne goes, it really means a whole lot to me, coming from a one time anonymous poster to our website.

Perhaps he paid you to post your "admiration statement" here?
Perhaps he fooled you, like he has so many others, as many hucksters throughout time have been known to do with great talent.

If you're trying to convince me, that a man can read print from physical objects, with no eyesight available, then I suggest you take your pal Coyne and run to Florida, to a man named James Randi, where upon showing this great supernatural talent, he will collect one million dollars, just like that.

However, even with one good eye, this magic trick is easy to accomplish and has been done even by children.
It does NOT impress me in the least, until such time that a qualified skeptic is supervising such tests.

Joe, you may WISH to believe in an afterlife, in hell perhaps, in abnormal un-natural abilities, but until someone proves these things, you're spitting into the wind buddy.

ATF (Who wonders what time reverse day ends today?)

webmdave said...

David: .. it is still a fact that the only people who claim to have had NDEs are people who, demonstrably, did not die

David,

I wonder if the 'nap' that jesus took for [only] two days, would be considered just a Near Death Experince (NDE) by some god-standards?

So xtians maybe should tell us that jesus NDE'd for our souls, rather than 'died' for them.

Isn't it odd how xtians think that dying for a mere two days, would be some huge sacrifice for "mankind"?

I totally agree with you, in that until someone dies for more than a few minutes, and instead, comes back to life from their grave, we'll never know for sure what is on the 'other side'.
Beause we can't know with any certainty, and because we have no evidence that anything exists for us after death, I'm placing my bets on this one and ONLY existence.

Now, would you care to place a wager on whether Joe returns....LOL?

ATF (Who thinks this Joe guy is seeing the real world with just one eye to)

webmdave said...

David: .. it is still a fact that the only people who claim to have had NDEs are people who, demonstrably, did not die

David,

I wonder if the 'nap' that jesus took for [only] two days, would be considered just a Near Death Experince (NDE) by some god-standards?

So xtians maybe should tell us that jesus NDE'd for our souls, rather than 'died' for them.

Isn't it odd how xtians think that dying for a mere two days, would be some huge sacrifice for "mankind"?

I totally agree with you, in that until someone dies for more than a few minutes, and instead, comes back to life from their grave, we'll never know for sure what is on the 'other side'.
Beause we can't know with any certainty, and because we have no evidence that anything exists for us after death, I'm placing my bets on this one and ONLY existence.

Now, would you care to place a wager on whether Joe returns....LOL?

ATF (Who thinks this Joe guy is seeing the real world with just one eye to)