Jesus...f*** you
By Ian Hi Jesus. Jet me start out by saying F*** you. Yeah, that's right. F*** you. F*** you uncle f***er. What the f***? you ask. Allow me to explain. After careful consideration and a lot of thinking, I have come to the conclusion that you, as presented in the Bible and your followers, are a f***er. How so? Let's see. If people don't believe in you, you damn them to hell. Real nice and merciful. If you damn people to hell for not believing in you and thus harming your ego, then f*** you. If you damn people to hell for following Christianity, then f*** you. If you're going to damn ME for being a freethinker and a humanist, then you're a really psychotic son of God. Want to change your image Jesus? How about starting off by getting rid of all your spokespersons. Why not start with Billy Graham? He's a big motherf***er. I mean come on, wrinkly as a prune, thinks Satan is out to ruin the world, threatens us with hell if we don't believe, runs ...
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ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of stuff that will jarr the minds of "reachable" believers.
Education works!
'Oh no! - not universal redemption!
ReplyDeleteGet rid of it!!!'
I'm with pull the other one, don't wanna go to heaven; it sounds like a colossal drag.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if we're all there, we can still hang out together and laugh at the fundies, so maybe it's not all bad!
I am confused i am a fornicator and an blasphemer. How can they hang me by my tongue and my balls....Anyway I always new Jesus was a softy. You could say he nailed it! Take that Pat Roberson, i am going to give you the biggest tity twister in heaven, then drink scotch with Ghandi and Jack the Ripper at the same time. It makes sense....
ReplyDeleteHow can they hang me by my tongue and my balls
ReplyDeleteIt's called Satan's hammock.
Where're the bars gonna be, heaven or hell?
ReplyDelete