By Lance K
Disclaimer: I don't believe what I am about to say, but since Christians seem to enjoy putting forth conjecture as arguments – with only loosely linked or coincidental evidence – I thought I'd have a little fun playing by their rules.
Here we go...
Fact – Satan is a very powerful being, and is a tricky liar.
Fact – God is good and loving.
Fact – Satan does not want you to get to know this loving and good god.
Fact – Since Satan is so powerful, and since he pretends to not exist, and since he can magically put thoughts into your head without you knowing it, you can't tell if what you believe is really true, or if it is a lie from Satan.
Most Christians would probably fully agree with the first three “facts,” but some might have a problem with the last fact. They may agree with the first part of it, but would say that they can tell something is a lie if it disagrees with the Bible.
But is that really true? How can they be certain that their belief in the Bible as the “perfect inerrant Word of God” is not itself a lie from Satan? Once they believe that lie, then Satan has them caught hook line and sinker. They will believe any and all lies that Satan and has so sneakily put into that book.
So here is my conjecture: Satan tricked the people who compiled the Bible into including all sorts of crazy stories about the fictional and tyrannical war god of Israel in order to lead people away from the real good and loving god (name unknown).
He knew we would more readily believe in a book we could hold in their hands, instead of rely on internal feelings to be a good person. He figured he could do a lot more damage by including lots of conflicting information to confuse the heck out of us poor simple humans. He knew that without religion we would fall back on the golden rule, but with a book and religion to follow, he could wring the absolute worst out of humanity.
So the Bible and the entire Christian religion is nothing but a ploy by the great evil one to wreak havoc on human civilization.
And he helped write the Koran for the same reason. Just to fuck with us and have some fun in his sick and twisted way. He knew that with multiple conflicting books, he could get us to kill each other for centuries, all the while being distracted from the good and loving god that only wanted us to just get along. Satan threw a bunch of other religions into the stew just to give it a little kick.
That is my conjecture, now here is my weak evidence to back it up. (Just like a Christian argument)
- The schizophrenic behavior of god in the old and new testaments.
- The evil behavior of the god of the Bible (old and new testaments)
- The Inquisition
- Witch burnings
- The Crusades
- Protestant vs. Catholic wars
- Islamic vs. Christian wars
- All sorts of other religious wars
- The Taliban
- Islamic Sharia Law
- Slavery supported in the Bible and Koran
- Genocide commanded by the god in the Bible
- Death penalty for just about everything thing in the old testament and the Koran
- The idea of a good and loving god that tortures his children forever in hell if they don't believe a bunch of fairy stories in a poorly edited book.
- Etc. etc. etc.
So now you have my conjecture and my evidence, but I'll admit that there are more than one conclusions you could draw from this. Here are three possibilities:
1. A good and loving god really did write that wonderful and perfect book we call the Bible. And he has inspired and lead all the wonderful religious leaders of the past and today.
the Bible and the entire Christian religion is nothing but a ploy by the great evil one to wreak havoc on human civilization2. Satan is tricking people into believing the various religions are true for his own sick thrills, while God is just sitting back sending good thoughts and trying to get us to play nice with each other.
3. All religions are simply made up by a bunch of large brained primates (us).
I'm voting for number 3. As far as I am concerned, the first two possibilities are just plain silly. But if I had to pick between numbers 1 and 2, I think #2 is a far better fit for the evidence. As for #1; come on, get serious.
For any Christians reading this, I know what they will say. That #1 is true, but that Satan has been muddling it up as much as possible to make god look inept or non-existent. If that is true, then he is doing a damn good job. Their god does indeed look pretty inept, and/or non-existent, and the bible does make their god look evil and schizophrenic.
So I could ask Christians the question I posed above: How do they know that by believing the Bible is true and is the starting point for all knowledge, and by putting all incoming thoughts through the biblical filter, and by subjecting their reason and logic to the rule of scripture, that they are not falling into a trap of Satan? Really, I'm serious! How do they know?!?
Note to Christians: I don't really want to hear your answers. I've heard them all before, and I really am tired of the bullshit.
To be honest, I am not really putting this forth as a serious argument, as it is so full of holes and unprovable conjecture to be dismissed out of hand. But that is exactly my point. I have never heard an argument for the Christian god that is any better than the crap I laid out above.
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)