No Jesus, Know Peace. Know Jesus, No Peace
By Neal Stone
All good things, must come to an end.
This was the title of an e-mail I sent to my former pastor back in 1998. It would be one of many exchanges. In this e-mail I would try and explain how I was waking up to things and seeing life differently outside of God and church. He just couldn't understand and treated me as I was lost to the world and being deceived.
I have fought many battles in life and sadly most were started by believers in God. All my life I was taught to put my wished and desires aside and focus on others. Forget what I wanted and seek to be a servant of others. Help others but screw yourself. I was a dirty rotten sinner who deserved to burn in hell.
When I think back it was really a bad thing coming to an end, but then my e-mail title “All good things...” had a hidden meaning.
I knew in my heart that there had to be more to this life than wasting away as a Christian and seeking to fulfill someone else will and I ain't talking about Gods.
I spent my whole life inside the box and all I could see was for walls and nothing beyond. It wasn't that I couldn't see clearly, I was just taught not to look. At times I was even threatened if I even thought about doing something outside of church or with non-Christians. I would go to movies and feel ashamed.
No Jesus, know Peace... Know Jesus, no peace... But then in 1998 I got my first place on my own. Just me and no one else. It was then the breakdown would begin. At 33 yrs old I realized my life was nothing and I had not lived at all. As the darkness lifted from my eyes and I began to see past the walls and see what was out there my life started to change. At first it was for the worst as I had to define who I was as a person and this led me into a downward spiral as I became a person I did not like. Mostly because of th bitterness of the truth as well as my desire to rebel a little and spread my wings. I became a real jerk. At this time my teeth were broken and rotting due to a gum disease that runs in my family. I was 130lbs with bad teeth and not very well liked or desired be anybody. I would cover my mouth when I spoke or laughed. It was a sad state of life I was in.
Eventually I would work through this. But not till after I lost a few friends and broke my heart a few times. I would go through a range of emotions as I began to experience life and learn things I should have learned as a teenager. Yeah, at 33 yrs old I was mentally 15. All because I was sheltered and “protected”. My parents never prepared me for life. They actually expected me to live with them for the rest of my life as one of their kids. I had to teach myself life skills that should have been taught when I was growing up.
I won't go through all the details of my darkest period in my life. But feel comfort knowing I made it through and became a better person. It was at this time I would share e-mails with my former pastor titled “All good things...”.
The title actually comes from an episode of Star Trek the next generation. The final episode where Picard is yanked back and forth through the present, future as past as I too have been dealing with.
It was in the end when he faces Q that he was able to save himself and others by seeing all the possibilities and beyond the box. I related to that final scene as I too finally in my life have seen the possibilities of what I can become and in so doing I saved myself.
It is now ten years later and I now live happily married to a good wife, a great home and a nice piece of property and not to mention a great smile thanks to a decent job with medical/dental benefits. I even have a great job now. My life is restored and I have gone beyond what has been expected of me. I plan to keep going too. :) Did I mention our two cars and motor home? :) I will admit my life isn't perfect but it is nowhere near the hellish crap it was ten years ago. I went from poor and alone to healthy and with lots of friends and co-workers who look up to me. I get to be that co-worker people love to work with and enjoy seeing coming because I will somehow brighten their day. :) ROCK ON! I am always told 'You rock Neal!” and so “Neal Rocks!” has become my tag-line which is funny as my last name is Stone so it fits. LOL
The only sad part is all my Christian associates who are sad because I place value on these and not on God or treasures in heaven.
All my life I was taught to focus on the things of God and that its OK to be poor, single with a dead end job and living with your parents (at age 33) as long as you were serving the Lord. I feel so sad for people who still believe that crap.
All good things do come to and end, but other good things can follow if you seek them out. Being an ex-Christian doesn't have to be a bad experience nor does it mean I live a life of horrible sin as I was also taught in church. As hard as it can be, you can move on and become a better person.
I now many reading this story have had hard experiences because of similar things happening in their lives. Don't let it get you down or make you bitter. Prove the Christians wrong and show them you can be more joyful and happier than they are.
No Jesus, No Peace... Know Jesus, Know Peace... WRONG!!!!
No Jesus, Know Peace, Know Jesus, No Peace... CORRECT!!!! Just go to any church and look at all the people who have no peace in their lives. It amazes me the chaos Christians live with.
At Peace,
Neal
All good things, must come to an end.
This was the title of an e-mail I sent to my former pastor back in 1998. It would be one of many exchanges. In this e-mail I would try and explain how I was waking up to things and seeing life differently outside of God and church. He just couldn't understand and treated me as I was lost to the world and being deceived.
I have fought many battles in life and sadly most were started by believers in God. All my life I was taught to put my wished and desires aside and focus on others. Forget what I wanted and seek to be a servant of others. Help others but screw yourself. I was a dirty rotten sinner who deserved to burn in hell.
When I think back it was really a bad thing coming to an end, but then my e-mail title “All good things...” had a hidden meaning.
I knew in my heart that there had to be more to this life than wasting away as a Christian and seeking to fulfill someone else will and I ain't talking about Gods.
I spent my whole life inside the box and all I could see was for walls and nothing beyond. It wasn't that I couldn't see clearly, I was just taught not to look. At times I was even threatened if I even thought about doing something outside of church or with non-Christians. I would go to movies and feel ashamed.
No Jesus, know Peace... Know Jesus, no peace... But then in 1998 I got my first place on my own. Just me and no one else. It was then the breakdown would begin. At 33 yrs old I realized my life was nothing and I had not lived at all. As the darkness lifted from my eyes and I began to see past the walls and see what was out there my life started to change. At first it was for the worst as I had to define who I was as a person and this led me into a downward spiral as I became a person I did not like. Mostly because of th bitterness of the truth as well as my desire to rebel a little and spread my wings. I became a real jerk. At this time my teeth were broken and rotting due to a gum disease that runs in my family. I was 130lbs with bad teeth and not very well liked or desired be anybody. I would cover my mouth when I spoke or laughed. It was a sad state of life I was in.
Eventually I would work through this. But not till after I lost a few friends and broke my heart a few times. I would go through a range of emotions as I began to experience life and learn things I should have learned as a teenager. Yeah, at 33 yrs old I was mentally 15. All because I was sheltered and “protected”. My parents never prepared me for life. They actually expected me to live with them for the rest of my life as one of their kids. I had to teach myself life skills that should have been taught when I was growing up.
I won't go through all the details of my darkest period in my life. But feel comfort knowing I made it through and became a better person. It was at this time I would share e-mails with my former pastor titled “All good things...”.
The title actually comes from an episode of Star Trek the next generation. The final episode where Picard is yanked back and forth through the present, future as past as I too have been dealing with.
It was in the end when he faces Q that he was able to save himself and others by seeing all the possibilities and beyond the box. I related to that final scene as I too finally in my life have seen the possibilities of what I can become and in so doing I saved myself.
It is now ten years later and I now live happily married to a good wife, a great home and a nice piece of property and not to mention a great smile thanks to a decent job with medical/dental benefits. I even have a great job now. My life is restored and I have gone beyond what has been expected of me. I plan to keep going too. :) Did I mention our two cars and motor home? :) I will admit my life isn't perfect but it is nowhere near the hellish crap it was ten years ago. I went from poor and alone to healthy and with lots of friends and co-workers who look up to me. I get to be that co-worker people love to work with and enjoy seeing coming because I will somehow brighten their day. :) ROCK ON! I am always told 'You rock Neal!” and so “Neal Rocks!” has become my tag-line which is funny as my last name is Stone so it fits. LOL
The only sad part is all my Christian associates who are sad because I place value on these and not on God or treasures in heaven.
All my life I was taught to focus on the things of God and that its OK to be poor, single with a dead end job and living with your parents (at age 33) as long as you were serving the Lord. I feel so sad for people who still believe that crap.
All good things do come to and end, but other good things can follow if you seek them out. Being an ex-Christian doesn't have to be a bad experience nor does it mean I live a life of horrible sin as I was also taught in church. As hard as it can be, you can move on and become a better person.
I now many reading this story have had hard experiences because of similar things happening in their lives. Don't let it get you down or make you bitter. Prove the Christians wrong and show them you can be more joyful and happier than they are.
No Jesus, No Peace... Know Jesus, Know Peace... WRONG!!!!
No Jesus, Know Peace, Know Jesus, No Peace... CORRECT!!!! Just go to any church and look at all the people who have no peace in their lives. It amazes me the chaos Christians live with.
At Peace,
Neal
Comments
As to your final remark, it is already too late for me to change. Once you begin to doubt the only choices are to either stop thinking or stop believing and I've made my decision.
Once they've looked behind the curtain only an idiot would continue to believe in the Great and Powerful Oz.
There's that threat again. That's all you guys have... a bully threat from your man-made bully-god.
None of us here are deceived by worldly things. Nor are we deceived by ancient myths.
In his reply to you, David B.'s last sentence summed it up perfectly.
Exactly! I had to re-post that brilliant sentence in bold so that anyone just skims the page will see it. ;-)
Take care,
BP
Tattoo, what's really sad is that you have bought into the fear, so you now live in fear of pissing off the big guy in the sky. What a horrible way to suffer through life. I am truly sorry for you. I hope you can find your way out, soon.
I'll leave you with the immortal words of George Carlin, who was possessed of more wisdom than all the preachers you ever knew:
"Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! . . . But He loves you!"
I am soooo glad I changed before it was too late. You see, I now enjoy my Sundays and my Wednesday nights and spend time with my Hubby and my friends who aren't zombies.
I don't know if I have it all worked out but I do know that I have done my best to seek truth. I'm good with that.
You are still experiencing the pleasures of this world, you are just doing it with a an attitude of superiority towards the vast majority of people around the world that are not Christians.
And, OH!, how easily deceived you are.
Why is there always a timetable? I hate pushy salespeople, black tube socks in white tennis shoes, Jehovah's Witnesses & high pressured sales. Besides, every DAY that Jesucristo tarries, the number of hellbound nonbelievers grows. Why is your god such a sadist that he waits for an increase in population before he sends Sonny Boy for round 2?
http://www.census.gov/main/www/popclock.html
Do come back and explain what "pleasures of the world" you have tasted. Let's compare notes.
No, little one. If Jesus ever lived, he is now just a bunch of crushed bones under the foundation of a Jerusalem high-rise and hasn't known anything since he drew his last breath nearly 2,000 years ago.
I have been posting here for several years, but during the summer I became quite ill and was in no fit mood to post anything. Once again, I was reminded of my mortality, and took it calmly and without fear.
An aid to my recovery was an ocean cruise. Starting at Copenhagen, we visited Norway, England, and Scotland. I learned what I knew to begin with: that people are kind and decent and do not deserve divine retribution. I honestly was touched by the treatment we received as strangers in foreign lands.
For the above reasons I probably will be posting irregularly--I have pretty much lost interest in cursing xristers. I regard them as fools and nuts and not worth my time. Any xristian who cares to comment on the above post, feel free. I will answer you when I stop laughing.
Bye for now. Have fun.
Ryan
"Most people need only read the KJV of the Bible to know these types of Christian churches are apostate."
What makes you think that the KJV accurately represents the words of this Jesus you worship? Do you know nothing about the history of the Bible? And what makes you think that a forum of Ex-Christians would consider the Bible to be anything more than a book of mythology?
"to truly know Jesus is to know Peace."
To expand on what I said at the beginning, it is not possible to "truly know" a mythologized dead man.
This one's name is "Chris" however, which is not to be confused with other former True Xtians named Chris, that may have come before him.
You say the gospel belongs to this fella Jesus, yes?
Did jesus write this gospel himself?
Was it perhaps dictated by jesus to his personal scribes?
Was it even written while jesus was alive, or shortly after his death, well True Xtian Chris?
Next you claim that jesus equals peace.
Well, perhaps that is what your personal made-up jesus does for you, but many say just the opposite about this warmonger jesus and his Daddy.
Many xtians see him as not even being very peaceful to a simple innocent fig tree, let alone something more intelligent.
There are no false xtians Chris.
If one says they are a xtian, then they are, as there is no heavenly committee to dispute such an assertion.
Of course, the biggest problem you have Chris, is that the leader of your xtian pact, jesus, is dead and most likely never lived.
His big sky daddy also seems to have left our local universe, perhaps to impregnate yet another young girl with his seed.
ATF (Who wonders if these xtians will ever wake up and smell reality)
Like the song says: "Working for the church while my family dies..."
My experiences are similare to those of Neal. I know that xristianity keeps us as children all our lives, or worse, as slaves. As xristians we lived on our knees.
The funniest passage in the bible is where jesus says--mark, I seem to recall--to "allow little children to come to me. " The following lines have it that we must accept the kingdom of god as children, or we will not enter.
In my wife's former church, the word "as" meant "when" "while" or "in the state of". And so, "as" a child of six she became a xristian. Otherwise, said her parents, she would go to hell. To this day, the members of that church do not believe one can be saved as an adult.
I am happy to be an atheist. I have recovered my mind, my conscience, and my manhood. My congratulations to Neal. And hello jacolyn.
P.S.: I have never heard this song "Working for the church....". Where can I get a copy?
Great story!! Glad you are doing so well now!!
As an atheist, I have recovered my mind, my conscience, and my manhood. I would sooner be dead than to return to that eternal childhood.
The funniest passage in the nt is where jesus says "suffer the little children to come to me" (king james) This is an allegory of the xristian life--as xristians we were all children, were we not? Of course. The following line, as I seem to remember, has it that we must accept the kingdom of god as a child or we will not enter it.
My poor wife had it worse. In her church the word "as" meant "when" or "in the state of". So as a child of 6 she accepted jesus, her parents telling her that she would otherwise go to hell. My wife's former church, to this day, does not believe that one can become a xristian "as" an adult.
Again, nice to know you. And hello jacolyn.
Your comment on being "protected" really rang a bell with me. Looking back at my
high school years, I wonder if anyone graduated from my class who was more
naive than I was. Getting out in the real world, and discovering many decent,
respectable, and hardworking people thought my religious beliefs were bizarre
was really a shock. As a matter of fact, at one place of employment the others
referred to me (behind my back) as "Crazy". I wish I would have known then how
right they were! I can testify Christianity, especially the fundamentalist variety,
is extremely poor preparation for adulthood.
When I think about those years, I see myself as Marley's ghost, wrapped in chains.
The chains of ignorance, superstition, and fear. To be honest, I'm still shedding
a few of them. but there are sure a lot less of them than there used to be.
What excellent advice for anyone struggling. I feel as you do, that I have truly become my own, honest, self-valued person that I can really respect.
Your story had so much emotional content, I felt for you as I read it. Great writing and enjoyed the read very much.
This part in particular stood out:
"I was taught to put my wishes and desires aside and focus on others. Forget what I wanted and seek to be a servant of others. Help others but screw yourself."
Such a philosophy is a recipe for disaster regardless of who or what is promulgating it. Our dreams and wishes are the gateway to our own lives, and it's wonderful that you have your life back. May the peace continue to grow and enrich your experience.
The king's taken back the throne
The useless seed is sown
When they say they're cutting off the phone
I'll tell 'em you're not home
No place to hide
You were fighting as a soldier on their side
You're still a soldier in your mind
Though nothing's on the line
You say it's money that we need
As if we're only mouths to feed
I know no matter what you say
There are some debts you'll never pay
Working for the church
While your family dies
You take what they give you
And you keep it inside
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"
I can taste the fear
Gonna lift me up and take me out of here
Don't wanna fight, don't wanna die
Just wanna hear you cry
Who's gonna throw the very first stone?
Oh! Who's gonna reset the bone?
Walking with your head in a sling
Wanna hear the soldier sing
Working for the Church
While my family dies
Your little baby sister's
Gonna lose her mind
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"
I can taste your fear
It's gonna lift you up and take you out of here
And the bone shall never heal
I care not if you kneel
We can't find you now
But they're gonna get their money back somehow
And when you finally disappear
We'll just say that you were never here
Been working for the church
While your life falls apart
Singing hallelujah with the fear in your heart
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"
I keep seeing a repeating, scene in my dreams,
I'm weeping peacefully, in a green pasture of sheep
who breathe deeply, relaxed on the grass, asleep when
I see these factions, of masked men, with axes, creepin
I can see, that we're captured, but when I scream, the assassins
begin laughing, and the sheep don't even seem to gather
the fact that their masters are grabbin and smashing their backs in
in a graphic fashion and draggin the cadavers past em
the sadness from those savage actions I had to fathom
never passes, even though, they were so overtly imagined
they show, actual patterns of what can happen to those trapped in
the rapture of the Holy Ghost if they don't open their lashes
and focus on what matters most... before they cash in
choke and pass and go in a casket, or blow in the passing
wind over the ocean as scattered ashes and bone fragments
just hopin their pastor was accurate
[hook]:
[bow down and] - pray
pray to your god
[now, bow down and] -pray
pray to your god
[verse]:[2]
what kinda creator would make a race of people
and make em act a certain way or else He deems 'em evil?
HOW can You give a living being the freedom to breathe
and then lead em into sea of decievers who greet em, see,
it's not a miracle, when you beat a disease [please]
it's not a miracle, when you breed and receive
a baby from a lady, it's nature, you can pray to a tree
it don't mean the seasons are changing cuz you believe in the leaves
faith is a crazy made up way to explain, what you can't explain
in way that you can't debate it, it's insane that we live in a nation,
that's innovative enough to create a station in space
but we still praise the pages of an ancient publication
considered great.... in the motherfuckin middles ages,
I'm sick of the way this civilization blames their hatred
on a simple fictional basis such as Satan it makes me
sick to my stomach, it's just disgusting aint it?
[hook]
[verse]:[3]
and I'm sick of censorship committees, grippin the dicks of Christian Ministries
who are admittingly, just letting any priest get a piece,
of greased little boy keester and get away free
while they celebrate Easter... Jesus, it's un-fuckin-believable
that you people still worship invisible entities, I mean,
who seriously wants to live for infinity? are you kidding me?
if you guys wanna censor a bigger lie, try the validity
of a city sittin in the sky, where everybody who died is now living
better yet, convince me that the visceral presence
of an invincible peasant will some-how better my fuckin intelligence
and gimme some evidence, heaven exists, besides some lessons
written by guys who couldn't technically give any relevant tips
except that I should be a celibate twit who cries like a bitch
to a timeless spirit everytime that I'm fearing some shit
the entire idea of religion's been queer since it was twisted
to it's limit, now it's a just mere hindrance
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