Sent in by exfundie
I just watched the Michael Moore film, "Sicko." Let me tell you, I laughed, I cried, and I pondered many things. Mostly however, I cried. Especially through the whole part where Moore took the group of sick 9-11 rescue workers to Cuba. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the movie for yourself. Anyway, this segment not only enraged me, but broke my heart too. Mostly because it reminded me of my biggest regret to this day... being such a sheep to the establishment of Christianity.
I was so brainwashed and closed-minded to things. I mean I voted for George W. Bush both times! I held him up as such a godly pursuer of right, and of truth, and of all things good. I felt like any attack on him must be either untrue or completely founded upon a misrepresentation of information. I wouldn't hear it! Some may not see the connection between the two, but I feel they are one in the same.
Every occurrence in our recent history with implications obvious to a freed mind, were a complete mystery to me. I think this is true of most Christians. And it's not because the information isn't available. It is because I didn't want to know it. As a matter of fact, I guarded myself against it. I only sought out and absorbed information that supported what I knew was right. Therefore, I believed in my heart that George W. Bush was the man god wanted as our president. I mean, every Christian leader, pastor, and friend of mine in the buy-bull belt both agreed and sought to further convince me of this truth. And voting for George W. Bush is just one of many examples I could use.
But now, it is too late for me. For the first time in thirty-one years of life I am truly able to think for myself. But it is too late, I have invalidated my ability to influence those around me, because... I am an atheist. As a Christian, I was a youth pastor and ministry leader. I was such an influence on young people, and even the adults I worked closely with. I mean truly everything I thought and said was golden. People would always align with my agenda, because I was their god-appointed leader. Now though, I am no influence at all. I am just the weak-minded person whose faith was too weak.
It almost makes me want to go back to church, walk down to the altar during the altar call, and pray to receive Jesus Christ as my personal savior again. Then, not only would my life be easier, but I could also begin influencing those around me again. You see, now that my mind is open and I am free to think for myself, I could influence free-thought over buy-bull babble. Maybe reverse some of the brainwashing I was responsible for. Who knows? I mean, my salvation truly wouldn't be any less real than it was the first time I did it. You know, when I really did think it meant something? The only difference would be now I'd know it meant nothing. But hey, I'd feel no guilt here... none!