"A Sabbatical?" or "My Anti-Testimony"
I first posted this "testimony" to the web on July 27, 2001. If you too have found Christianity specifically, or religion generally, to be less than satisfying for any reason, please consider posting your own "testimony" to this site by clicking here , or message me by clicking here. I t is invariably a shock to Evangelical Christians to come across someone who has turned his or her back on the “faith was once delivered unto the saints.” Most believers will quickly dismiss an ex-Christian by piously pointing out that anyone who turns away from Christ was never a real believer. Or, as an insider might say it, “They were never born again.” There is Biblical support for the assertion. 1 John 2:19, which addressed the problem of First Century apostates, states that: “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us....
Wow, I love it. The guys at God Is Imaginary have done it again!
ReplyDeleteDear God I know you exist, because I can hear myself talking to you, and others claim to talk to you on a daily basis, therefore I know you must exist.
ReplyDeleteSince it's not your will that anyone should perish, I would like to thank you for designing those built-in atrocious diseases we all get, since day one from birth, our bodies begin to break down and we all begin to die and rot and decay and wither away.
We must have inoculations from diseases, our teeth rot and decay, we get colds and influenza, mumps, measels, chicken pox, cancer, arthritis, alzheimers, and get old, our hair turns grey and we begin to look like an old shriveled-up plum, yet if we do not believe in you and tell others how wonderful you are, then you will send us to hell for eternity.
Way to go God! How wonderful it seems that you must be. It's no wonder so many must have imaginary faith to believe in you.
BTW God, is there anything else you can do for us? I would certainly hope not!
Stanleys post caught my attention. Our teeth do decay and rot and we lose them in various ways. However, I don't recall any healing services in church where the pastor or anyone else would pray for new teeth for someone. If "God" were real, new teeth would be no problem. After all, he can cure anything else. From now on when I hear someone talking about Gods healing power, I will mention I have a couple of teeth missing and would they pray that God would provide for my missing teeth to grow back. When that happens, I will no longer be a part of this website.
ReplyDeleteHey, Stanley - My gray hair looks hot, just ask my husband!
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, why should sharks get an unlimited supply of new teeth and not us? Why can't we grow new body parts like lizards can with their tails?
Guess God (who we all know is busy) has to put some things on autopilot! LOL...
Hey Jim,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your missing teeth. Can you believe I had 4 extra ones sawed out of my jaw!
He also gave me an appendix wich is like an extra pocket in the intestine to collect junk so it becomes infected and kills you. Yup had to have that cut out too.
God is such a practical joker. Giving us stuff we don't need.
God is such a practical joker. Giving us stuff we don't need.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I bet the Siamese dude with an extra PERSON growing out of his head is laughing himself pissless. "Thanks God!" D'oh!
lol
Yes, they know God is imaginary. I go past a church outside Princeton, NJ a few times a week that has a huge banner in front of it which says... What if it's true?
ReplyDeleteThat has to be one of the most moronic solicitations I've seen. Come pretend with us, just in case God is real.
Dave,
ReplyDeleteTake a picture of the church with the banner and post it. I think that would be a great article that we can discuss how they know it is all just make believe!
Freeman,
ReplyDeleteI just saw your post. I'll try to get a picture in the next few days. I'm kinda busy at the moment, but I'll find the time. I laugh every time I pass it.