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7/22/2007                                                                                       View Comments

You're bloody lucky to be alive

Sent in by MothandRust

Has the universe always been here in some form, or did something create it at some point?

Consider the Andromeda Galaxy - it looks a lot like our own, I'm told - not that I've ever stepped back far enough to check out the similarities - but there are many many more like it to show that our galaxy is just one collection of spinning matter in what is an immeasurable expanse of space and 'stuff'. The interesting thing about our Milky Way galaxy (named after the famous chocolate bar) is that it's not actually big... it seems big because we're so small, it's relative, it is not huge, it is not immense and it may or may not be infinite. The incredible amount of galaxies that make up what we can see of our universe may in fact be just one cloud amongst many universes .

These steller bodies are moving, colliding and collapsing all over the shop and there's evidence to suggest that the universe has been doing so for billions and billions of years, and perhaps forever. There's no need to mystify the idea of time, because before we were intelligent enough to acknowledge and measure the movement of heavenly bodies we were happy to hunt by day, sleep by night, and die when we got too old to pump blood through our brains. Eternity isn't a supernatural concept best left for gods to calculate... like the size of the universe, it's relative albeit conceptual. The universe simply was and is and always will be - no matter how many pigs fart methane into the atmosphere of our little blue green orb.

Douglas Adams joked that the universe is so big and so randomly chaotic that chances are somewhere somehow there are lifeforms growing that could be useful to any interstellar hitchhiker. One planet somewhere surely has shifting spanners growing from trees, and animals that could easily be used as mattresses. I think it's amazing that this planet was lucky to have a temporary run of life on it long enough for its inhabitants to actually design and use a shifting spanner themselves. When you consider the incredible numbers of planets spiraling and circling throughout this vast cosmos you must entertain the thought that for some bursts of time a planet would be in the rolling in the right place at the right time with the right conditions to allow moss to gather on it.

Now, if I were lucky enough to have been born into a planet that had the 'golden' measurements of being close enough to a sun, and protected by various larger planets around it, I'd feel very fortunate, and I do. This particular planet probably isn't the first to have encountered such idyllic conditions but you have to stand in awe of the probability factors involved when you happen to be on it. Of course, it seems like someone created it only because you aren't one of the impossible inhabitants that couldn't have possibly lived on the multi-billion other planets that can't sustain life.

You're bloody lucky to be alive and I seriously don't blame anyone for inventing a god to praise to concerning the delights of simple existence. Every culture we know of usually does this very thing. It's perfectly natural and normal to sing to the sky in appreciation, because most of the people we share the planet with don't seem to really appreciate existence enough to really marvel at it with the wide-eyed wonder it deserves.

Many people I've spoken to recently say that there must be a god, because the scenery here is bloody tremendous and a lot of female boobs look really really good. But this planet actually looks like crap compared to watching the Wallom beasts swimming through the molten mountains of Somtranus V in the Andromeda galaxy (pause). We have no basis of comparison and of course every type of vegetation filled crevasse looks quite interesting to us. The rock and continents have been shifting and eroding for billions of years to make many varied and interesting formations. It's a weather beaten planet that has evolved wildlife and vegetation over an unbelievable amount of time. It's when we try to fit it into the mythical six days and six thousand years of bible time that everything looks like it's science fiction.

And boobs look wondrous because if our programming didn't allow them to be then we would have died off ages ago. Of course boobs don't look appealing to all mankind, but that's ok... there's enough of us who do to keep the population rolling along until we collide with another planet and simply cease to be. Somewhere, sometime, another species will come into being that appreciates the landscape around them and may even have mammary glands that the other gender finds appealing.

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Entertaining commentary; thanks!!!

Chucky Jesus

Anonymous said...

Did someone say Boobs?!?

My favorite topic of conversation!

ST. JUDAS ISCARIOT'S disciple said...

It is useless to be alive if you cannot use your reason and work for the betterment of humanity....Compassion to the underprivileged also helps..This planet is idyllic..not in today's day and age..

After looking at humans, JUDAS speculates that there could be (would be) other planets which are much more idyllic with beings that are much more intelligent and compassionate.

So, lucky to be alive? Life is worthless without sanity, reason and empathy.

THE PASSION OF JUDAS ISCARIOT

clair said...

Yes indeed, very interesting. I will be needing a dollar later, speaking of entertainment, thanks. C

Anonymous said...

I am one of the advanced humans that can have sex with either gender. 10,000 years from now, (unless the big asteroid takes us all out) we will all appreciate bobs and dicks.

MothandRust said...

I'll try writing a post that doesn't include boobs one day. That I worked them into a piece on creationism is kinda cool. Gotta help with the Google hits.

By the same logic I'd have to say that our reproductive organs should evolve into much prettier things in the future. Perhaps we shouldn't cover them up as much so we can selectively prefer them over others? Do our future generations a favour.

I'm told I didn't include 'entropy' in my theory here about the state of the everbanging universe. I gotta admit, I don't know how it keeps on keeping on, but the aternative is that a StarTrekkian like 'Q' being clicked his finger and made it all happen.

The same Q-like being created bunny rabbits and allowed paedophiles to live. Pffft, yeah right.

Milgram said...

In answer to your opening question, the current scientific consensus is that the universe has not always been here.

The "big bang" is postulated as the beginning, but the laws of physics as currently formulated break down down at that point.

Nvrgoingbk said...

If all that had come of our "miraculous" existence were boobs, I would have been humbled enough, but as luck would have it, there is so much more to appreciate about our short flight on this spinning ball of life.

Thankyou, MothandRust for a wonderfully written essay that forces one to contemplate just how "bloody lucky" we really are to be alive.