I love finding obscure Bible stories the kids never hear in Sunday School. Here's a nice little tale about one of the Bible-God's favorite people, Noah.
Apparently, after the whole ark thing was over, Noah planted a vineyard so he could get drunk whenever he wanted. One day, he got so drunk he fell asleep naked in his tent. When his son, Ham, wandered in and saw Noah's "nakedness", Noah got pissed off. Genesis 9:24 says, "And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him." I'm not sure what Ham did, but it sounds like Noah was mad because Ham didn't cover his eyes.
So in retaliation Noah cursed Ham's son, Canaan, to be "a servant of servants." In fact, Canaan (Noah's grandson) would become a servant to Noah's other son, Shem, because of what his father did (or didn't do).
It's very complicated and it really makes you wonder what the fuck kind of message the author of this story was trying to convey. Is there a moral here? Don't look at your father's dick or your kids will be made into slaves? Is that it? Great lesson! I'm sure glad God Almighty, the creator of the universe got that one out to us!
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Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)