"A Sabbatical?" or "My Anti-Testimony"
I first posted this "testimony" to the web on July 27, 2001. If you too have found Christianity specifically, or religion generally, to be less than satisfying for any reason, please consider posting your own "testimony" to this site by clicking here , or message me by clicking here. I t is invariably a shock to Evangelical Christians to come across someone who has turned his or her back on the “faith was once delivered unto the saints.” Most believers will quickly dismiss an ex-Christian by piously pointing out that anyone who turns away from Christ was never a real believer. Or, as an insider might say it, “They were never born again.” There is Biblical support for the assertion. 1 John 2:19, which addressed the problem of First Century apostates, states that: “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us....
Hey!!! I'm the original farting preacher.
ReplyDeleteAccept no cheap imitations. Praise God!
http://www.farting-preacher.com/
Haha! Hilarious! I wish these guys were on in my area, the ones I watch just aren't funny like them. Just what does "bo-ko-sha" mean anyway? Cuckoo, cuckoo!
ReplyDeleteThat woman preacher is HOT!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd fuck the holy ghost out of her.
Women are not supposed to preach anyway.
ReplyDeletethat guy is hilarious even if you take out the farting.
ReplyDeletei dont know about you guys .but i belive the preacher lady
ReplyDeleteif i had sex with 94 men in one day i would defenatly not be happy either.
i think i'd be rather sore, if not dead.
"And on the third day Christ farted, and he arose!"
ReplyDeleteGod bless your little Fssssssphart!!!
Holy shalacumbia...Psssssphart...phew..wee!!!
Did you feel that? I did...RFLMAO
You all think your funny, but you're not.
ReplyDeleteSooner or later there all of you will have to pay for this type of sacraligious blasphemy.
God will not be mocked.
Au contraire, Anonymouse... Your god doesn't seem to mind us mocking it one bit.
ReplyDeletePossibly because it shows no signs of actually existing.
I could never understand the concept of 'sacrilege', anyway. How in blazes could the words of a mortal ever injure some cosmic super-being? That would be like Me getting insanely and permanently angry because a chickadee on My clothesline decided to chirp rudely. (shrugs)
of course god will be mocked. i'll mock him openly and dare him to do something about it. If he exists, he's a coward!
ReplyDeleteJust like Anonymous!
Ryan,
ReplyDeleteCompared to God and the whole universe you are nothing more than a tiny little speck of dust.
It is only by God's grace and mercy that you are allowed to breathe and exist in this world.
It would be quiet interesting to see how arrogant you would act towards God if you all of a sudden started gasping for breath, and you started taking your final breath upon this earth.
Anonymouse, compared to your intangible, invisible and very likely non-existent god, humans are infinite in size and in power.
ReplyDeleteAnd the universe is greater still.
Why must Christians take something as amazing as sentient life on Earth, and smear their god's feces all over it?
And why is it so hard for Christians to see that their vile, condescending, bullying, "You are less than dirt" attitude is one of the things that drove us away from Christianity?
Finally, Anonymouse, since I'm in a spectacularly pissy mood tonight, I pronounce this seiðr upon you:
May your nightmares be haunted by every grief that you wish upon us.
"May your nightmares be haunted by every grief that you wish upon us"
ReplyDeleteI still slept good last night. Sorry that your spoken word of hate didn't work.
I've got the power of God on my side.
(smiles quietly to Herself) One night down... Fifteen, twenty thousand to go. Good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I will get through the nights a ok even if I do have a few bad dreams here and there.
It happens to the best of us.
An anonymouse condescended to announce to us:
ReplyDelete"...I've got the power of God on my side."
That's not enough. You need one of those red handkerchiefs too.
Anonymous, as someone who still believes in some sort of God that created the universe, you know what saddens me? The fact that you worship Yahweh/Jesus not because you love him, it's because you're AFRAID of him. I believe that if there is an omnipotent power that created the universe, it's going to be so far above us there is no way it could be so cheap and petty that it'd condemn any of it's creations to eternal torment. Making someone suffer horribly for disobedience is what a human would do, not any GOD in the absolute sense of the word. Give up your fear and realize that whatever runs the universe be it God or just natural laws, it is not a sadistic cosmic tyrant.
ReplyDeleteTabula Rasa: "Give up your fear and realize that whatever runs the universe be it God or just natural laws, it is not a sadistic cosmic tyrant."
ReplyDeleteAgreed wholeheartedly. Personally, I think that any extant gods simply would not need to resort to fearmongering.
Greedy priests who purport to speak on behalf of gods, on the other hand...