But, but, but...God in infalable. Just like my gramarz.
Seriously though. I really like the way you convey your messages. It's neither Christian, nor anti-christian and it urges people to open their minds and think instead of being "God's (mindless) flock of sheep."
Most people don't realize this but God actually made a way to create subliminal text in the bible that I have magnified for you in parenthesis above.
So there you have it. It's not your fault that you can't think on your own. It's just another cool design. ^_^
You forgot the amazing umbilical cord; The cord was designed too long, and can wrap around the necks of unborn children depriving them of precious oxygen, causing them brain damage, mental retardation or death! COOOOL DESIIIIIGGGN??!!!???
also in Genesis, it was never disclosed, that because Adam and Eve disobeyed God they sinned, therefore causing all of humanity to suffer in heinous and egregious ways. There is no mention of "sin" in Genesis. And how can an all-knowing, all-loving God punish Adam and Eve for disobeying him when they had no knowledge of good and evil or a moral conscience in the first place, to make an educated decision, let alone punishing all of humanity for what they did. What a wise and loving diety. Scott
Sconner said: You forgot the amazing umbilical cord; The cord was designed too long, and can wrap around the necks of unborn children depriving them of precious oxygen, causing them brain damage, mental retardation or death! COOOOL DESIIIIIGGGN??!!!???
Of course, we know that if the umbilical cord chokes the unborn to death, that the Christian's "way out" of this, is simply that it was "God's plan"..i.e.."meant to be", etc. However, if the unborn survives, and later it is learned that said child has suffered severe irreversible brain damage..i.e.."mental retardation"--- I have yet to see/hear any Christian, or any believer in a mind/body duality, explain how a presumably non-physical "soul" is affected by a physical ailment. What...when the child dies of old-age - or whatever the case may be - will it spend "eternity" as a retard?
In any event, I won't hold my breath while waiting on a logical answer('wouldn't want to take a chance on "altering" my "soul")
Gee, I wonder what god's great purpose was for giving each of us our little appendix. Surely this tiny offshoot of our intestine, has some divine purpose?
Perhaps it's the storage house where god instills the knowledge of the 10 commandments in each of us?
Frankly, I think the fundies, who are so sure about the second coming of jesus, may have used an incorrect word when they chose the word "RAPTURE".
God has revealed to me (and me alone), that when he comes back to take his flock to heaven, it will not be a 'rapture' that takes place, but instead he meant each fundie's appendix would RUPTURE; thereby sending a clear message to each xtian that god has finally returned. There, now everyone knows the true and divine purpose of why god gave each person that appendix.
Oh, one last thing.
For those xtians who's appendix prematurely ruptured, and some human doctor had to save their lives from it's spreading poison, I can only say that god sometimes has to test out his communications, just to be sure it will work when that magical rupture day arrives. So, if you are one who almost died from an appendix rupture, you should feel blessed that god chose YOU to test his early-warning-system upon.
ATF (Who knows that everything god created, has to be perfect....even when it doesn't seem to be)
Anonymous said…
(((it urges people to open their minds and think instead of being "God's (mindless) flock of sheep.)))
I would say something, however I don't have my bible with me, and since I rely on it I don't know how to speak or think for myself.
If I had my bible with me I would quote scripture, since that's all most christians like myself know how to do, because we are all mindless sheep.
Anonymous said…
ATF Said: "Gee, I wonder what god's great purpose was for giving each of us our little appendix"
I've always wondered the same thing about the purpose of God creating poison ivy, rats, and snakes. I guess it is one of his many ways of torturing us due to Adam and Eve biting that apple.
Perhaps the real reason why God got so angry at Adam and Eve for eating that fruit in the garden of Eden was because God would have rather them eaten some chocolates out of his candy box instead. Maybe Chocolate Candy was healthier than fruit was back before the fall in the Garden of Eden.
AEB (Realizes that Satan was supposedly a snake also).
AEB said: I've always wondered the same thing about the purpose of God creating poison ivy, rats, and snakes -- Hey AEB,
Nice to see you around these-here-parts.
I think I can explain about those three questionable items, using my special god given ESP.
1. Poison Ivy....God planted a bunch of it around the Eden, to keep the first couple from getting back in...of COURSE. It wasn't god's fault it grew out of control and spread all over the world. The ivy overgrowth was surely caused by mankind's sinful ways, see?
2. Rats....Well God needed the perfect scavenger to clean up the bodies, after he would throw one of his foot stomping hissy-fits. Surely you didn't expect god's chosen people to clean up those messes, now did you?
3. Snakes....As you pointed out, the snake in Eden is said to have been Satan himself. Never mind the fact that it wasn't until the NT times that we learned this important, but secret, fun fact.
Anywaysss, when Satan's demons aren't jumping inside innocent human bodies, they take up residence inside all those snakes. Now you may wonder why god would create all those snakes, but it makes sense that he would do so, because if he didn't create an earthly home for demons, well, he would have to kill them, and you know he isn't allowed to kill evil demons, at least not YET.
Come on now AEB, I'm sure you can ask harder god questions than these [g]
ATF (Who has a direct hotline right to god's big DIC-ta-phone)
Anonymous said…
ATF Said: "Anywaysss, when Satan's demons aren't jumping inside innocent human bodies, they take up residence inside all those snakes."
Don't forget about the pigs. Demons also seem to like pork quiet a bit.
Perhaps the story of "The 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf" is also biblical truth.
See, the big bad wolf was really a loving God.
He only huffed and puffed and blew down their houses all because he loved them, even though they ended up homeless.
Why did the 3 little pigs end up homeless? Because God (The loving Big Bad Wolf) loved them.
Plus God "The Big Bad Wolf" says that all pigs deserve to be homeless and they are all guilty of sin and deserve to burn in hell, because Sausage, ham, and bacon are high in cholesterol and they clog the arteries of human beings.
So therefore all pigs are guilty of clogging the arteries of human beings and causing heart attacks and strokes.
However, if I remember the story about the 3 little pigs correctly, it seems I remember that the 3rd pig's house was spared.
The reason why the 3rd little pig's house was spared was because he accepted the wolf's chicken into his life.
You see the big bad wolf sent his only begotten chicken to die for the sins of all pigs so that pigs would not burn in eternal hell.
Because the sins of pigs require a sacrifice, the wolf decided that since chicken meat is healthier that he would go ahead and sacrifice his innocent chicken so that pigs would live in eternal happiness with the loving big bad wolf who has built mansions in pig heaven that nobody will ever be able to blow down.
AEB (Who is starting to get hungry from talking about sausage, bacon, ham, and chicken).
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Comments
Keep up the good work...
Seriously though. I really like the way you convey your messages. It's neither Christian, nor anti-christian and it urges people to open their minds and think instead of being "God's (mindless) flock of sheep."
Most people don't realize this but God actually made a way to create subliminal text in the bible that I have magnified for you in parenthesis above.
So there you have it. It's not your fault that you can't think on your own. It's just another cool design. ^_^
also in Genesis, it was never disclosed, that because Adam and Eve disobeyed God they sinned, therefore causing all of humanity to suffer in heinous and egregious ways. There is no mention of "sin" in Genesis. And how can an all-knowing, all-loving God punish Adam and Eve for disobeying him when they had no knowledge of good and evil or a moral conscience in the first place, to make an educated decision, let alone punishing all of humanity for what they did. What a wise and loving diety.
Scott
Sconner said: You forgot the amazing umbilical cord; The cord was designed too long, and can wrap around the necks of unborn children depriving them of precious oxygen, causing them brain damage, mental retardation or death! COOOOL DESIIIIIGGGN??!!!???
Of course, we know that if the umbilical cord chokes the unborn to death, that the Christian's "way out" of this, is simply that it was "God's plan"..i.e.."meant to be", etc. However, if the unborn survives, and later it is learned that said child has suffered severe irreversible brain damage..i.e.."mental retardation"--- I have yet to see/hear any Christian, or any believer in a mind/body duality, explain how a presumably non-physical "soul" is affected by a physical ailment. What...when the child dies of old-age - or whatever the case may be - will it spend "eternity" as a retard?
In any event, I won't hold my breath while waiting on a logical answer('wouldn't want to take a chance on "altering" my "soul")
Gee, I wonder what god's great purpose was for giving each of us our little appendix.
Surely this tiny offshoot of our intestine, has some divine purpose?
Perhaps it's the storage house where god instills the knowledge of the 10 commandments in each of us?
Frankly, I think the fundies, who are so sure about the second coming of jesus, may have used an incorrect word when they chose the word "RAPTURE".
God has revealed to me (and me alone), that when he comes back to take his flock to heaven, it will not be a 'rapture' that takes place, but instead he meant each fundie's appendix would RUPTURE; thereby sending a clear message to each xtian that god has finally returned.
There, now everyone knows the true and divine purpose of why god gave each person that appendix.
Oh, one last thing.
For those xtians who's appendix prematurely ruptured, and some human doctor had to save their lives from it's spreading poison, I can only say that god sometimes has to test out his communications, just to be sure it will work when that magical rupture day arrives.
So, if you are one who almost died from an appendix rupture, you should feel blessed that god chose YOU to test his early-warning-system upon.
ATF (Who knows that everything god created, has to be perfect....even when it doesn't seem to be)
I would say something, however I don't have my bible with me, and since I rely on it I don't know how to speak or think for myself.
If I had my bible with me I would quote scripture, since that's all most christians like myself know how to do, because we are all mindless sheep.
"Gee, I wonder what god's great purpose was for giving each of us our little appendix"
I've always wondered the same thing about the purpose of God creating poison ivy, rats, and snakes. I guess it is one of his many ways of torturing us due to Adam and Eve biting that apple.
Perhaps the real reason why God got so angry at Adam and Eve for eating that fruit in the garden of Eden was because God would have rather them eaten some chocolates out of his candy box instead. Maybe Chocolate Candy was healthier than fruit was back before the fall in the Garden of Eden.
AEB (Realizes that Satan was supposedly a snake also).
I've always wondered the same thing about the purpose of God creating poison ivy, rats, and snakes
--
Hey AEB,
Nice to see you around these-here-parts.
I think I can explain about those three questionable items, using my special god given ESP.
1. Poison Ivy....God planted a bunch of it around the Eden, to keep the first couple from getting back in...of COURSE.
It wasn't god's fault it grew out of control and spread all over the world. The ivy overgrowth was surely caused by mankind's sinful ways, see?
2. Rats....Well God needed the perfect scavenger to clean up the bodies, after he would throw one of his foot stomping hissy-fits. Surely you didn't expect god's chosen people to clean up those messes, now did you?
3. Snakes....As you pointed out, the snake in Eden is said to have been Satan himself.
Never mind the fact that it wasn't until the NT times that we learned this important, but secret, fun fact.
Anywaysss, when Satan's demons aren't jumping inside innocent human bodies, they take up residence inside all those snakes.
Now you may wonder why god would create all those snakes, but it makes sense that he would do so, because if he didn't create an earthly home for demons, well, he would have to kill them, and you know he isn't allowed to kill evil demons, at least not YET.
Come on now AEB, I'm sure you can ask harder god questions than these [g]
ATF (Who has a direct hotline right to god's big DIC-ta-phone)
"Anywaysss, when Satan's demons aren't jumping inside innocent human bodies, they take up residence inside all those snakes."
Don't forget about the pigs. Demons also seem to like pork quiet a bit.
Perhaps the story of "The 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf" is also biblical truth.
See, the big bad wolf was really a loving God.
He only huffed and puffed and blew down their houses all because he loved them, even though they ended up homeless.
Why did the 3 little pigs end up homeless? Because God (The loving Big Bad Wolf) loved them.
Plus God "The Big Bad Wolf" says that all pigs deserve to be homeless and they are all guilty of sin and deserve to burn in hell, because Sausage, ham, and bacon are high in cholesterol and they clog the arteries of human beings.
So therefore all pigs are guilty of clogging the arteries of human beings and causing heart attacks and strokes.
However, if I remember the story about the 3 little pigs correctly, it seems I remember that the 3rd pig's house was spared.
The reason why the 3rd little pig's house was spared was because he accepted the wolf's chicken into his life.
You see the big bad wolf sent his only begotten chicken to die for the sins of all pigs so that pigs would not burn in eternal hell.
Because the sins of pigs require a sacrifice, the wolf decided that since chicken meat is healthier that he would go ahead and sacrifice his innocent chicken so that pigs would live in eternal happiness with the loving big bad wolf who has built mansions in pig heaven that nobody will ever be able to blow down.
AEB (Who is starting to get hungry from talking about sausage, bacon, ham, and chicken).
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