Jesus...f*** you
By Ian Hi Jesus. Jet me start out by saying F*** you. Yeah, that's right. F*** you. F*** you uncle f***er. What the f***? you ask. Allow me to explain. After careful consideration and a lot of thinking, I have come to the conclusion that you, as presented in the Bible and your followers, are a f***er. How so? Let's see. If people don't believe in you, you damn them to hell. Real nice and merciful. If you damn people to hell for not believing in you and thus harming your ego, then f*** you. If you damn people to hell for following Christianity, then f*** you. If you're going to damn ME for being a freethinker and a humanist, then you're a really psychotic son of God. Want to change your image Jesus? How about starting off by getting rid of all your spokespersons. Why not start with Billy Graham? He's a big motherf***er. I mean come on, wrinkly as a prune, thinks Satan is out to ruin the world, threatens us with hell if we don't believe, runs ...
Poor Mr. Bozo! My favorite was the monkey.
ReplyDeleteGee... Nobody asked me to swear on the monkey when I became an atheist...
ReplyDeleteI must not have gotten one of those pamphlets.
(this clip was rather hilarious, btw)
The 21st century audience is more sophisticated, but the mega church people understand that. The same caricatures of atheism are still there. They call it "culturally relevant ministry." Whatever. In 80 years I'm confident their BS will look as stupid.
ReplyDelete'From the makers of Reefer Madness and Der Ewige Jude...'
ReplyDeleteTwo things.
ReplyDelete1. Someone should start up a Godless Society meeting group.
2. The chick leading the GS is hot. I'd hit that. I'm just sayin'.
It never hurts to have teh hawt girlz in your corner! But I guess not having xmas off was a deal breaker...
ReplyDeleteI bet I know what happens next; Mr. Bozo rats the atheists out to the principal, who puts the kibosh on the whole atheist thing. Then, the evilution-believing atheists somehow end up running back to teh lard with their tails between their legs.
The End
Give up Christmas! No way! I'll stay an ignorant superstitious fool because I want to keep my yearly gift giving ritual!
ReplyDeleteThe hot flapper chick was Lina Basquette. The other girl was cute too!
ReplyDeleteI LMAO.
ReplyDeleteSilly Christians. Atheists don't swear oaths; that's the kind of thing we were trying to get away from.
And the dude's name was actually "Bozo"? Well, it matches his clothes!
And I'll second the other posters: yeah, xmas (big party ONE day a year) is worth putting up with church and church people harassing you and sucking up your time, money and energy the rest of the year and trying to run your life. Not.
Atheists don't need an excuse for a party! [g]
They should have spanked that monkey!
ReplyDelete