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4/23/2007                                                                                       View Comments

I LIKE BEING A MONKEY'S UNCLE!

By Dano

I don't know about anyone else but I like the fact that I am related to the monkeys. It takes the pressure off, by having a sensible, believable, alternative, to accepting, that my ancestors were made out of dirt, 5 thousand years ago, by Bible God, and each succeeding generation of us men have not lived up to his expectations.

It is a source of comfort to me to know that the Neanderthals (A species of man that we coexisted with) are not mentioned anywhere, to have been sent to hell for not believing in Jesus. There is much evidence on file to suggest that they certainly had brains as large as ours if not larger, and they were no less worth "saving" than we are.

Of course I am aware of the fact, that the Christian Bible has the earth, and everything in it, being invented by Bible God about 4 thousand years before he came up with the idea that he needed to have a son, a half God, half mortal, so to speak, that he could arrange to have murdered as a sacrifice to himself, as atonement for all of the sins his "other children, were so fond of committing.

To get back to the central idea of this post: Thanks to the thousands of brilliant scientist living and dead, who did the research that fills millions of books detailing our journey, from simple compounds in a primordial watery soup, to homo Sapiens (Thinking Man), I know that generations of my ancestors go back, about 4 billion years, about 4 billion years before it was necessary to believe in a totally irrational concept, in order to get to go to heaven and avoid hell.

Wherever those billions and billions of living, feeling, thinking creatures went, when they died (And my instincts tell me, that a force powerful enough to have created our universe and maybe others, would not waste a life), WHEN I DIE I WILL JOIN THEM!

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22 comments:

Ray said...

Sometimes it is appropriate to refer to atheists as “descendants of the apes.” I’m sure all of them are highly honored by that title since they are the ones who claim that apes are their noble ancestors.This explains why atheists have devised the animalistic and heathenistic philosophy of atheism. It is because that is the best philosophy the ape’s descendants can come up with. That is as high as they can rise in their thinking. There has never been an ape during the history of apes that achieved the ability to perceive the existence of God and to worship Him. And so, it is not surprising that descendants of the apes are void of that ability as well.This also explains the awful heathen and abominable fruit descendants of apes produce in the society - why they are so lawless. It must have been a terrible group of apes they descended from, because when you observe apes that exist today, all of them do exactly what apes are suppose to do. But atheists cannot do anything right. Apes today are more civilized than atheists.

True Christians have a far more noble fountain from whence they descended. We were originally created by the Almighty God - created in His image. We did not have to evolve to a higher state, but from the beginning, were created by God as perfect as humans can be. Even though we fell from our created state of perfection in the first man Adam, our Maker brings us back by His uplifting grace. But atheists, as descendants of the apes, have never and will never reached the level of perfection in which God originally created all mankind.

If atheists were human, and weren’t descendants of the apes, they might be able to perceive the beauty of the existence of God, and might have a chance at receiving God’s grace. But alas, animals don’t have that ability and God has no intention on saving animals.

http://atheist-fools.com

LosingMyReligion said...

Wow Ray, that was the most retarded thing I've ever read. Makes me ashamed that I ever believed in a God being that I used to make the same stupid comments that you just posted, verbatim.

To quote Douglas Adams, "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

It is enough for me to know that I am an intrinsic part of this world. I love knowing that we evolved from primates into what we are, and as we progress we will become even better. Evolution is a beautiful and natural process. As former Christians we do not need to believe in a God to fill in the gaps. We are willing to find concrete answers and accept that this is our only life and live it to the fullest.

That is beautiful.

Now you can have you sadomasochistic cretin of a fool God. I'll take my evolution thank you very much.

mike said...

This is where Christians distort truth. We did not descend from apes. We both descended from a common ancestor.

Love your post man!

Spirula said...

God has no intention on saving animals.

Yeah, he made that pretty damn clear in Leviticus. That's one blood thirsty, death-loving deity you got there. I can see by the "love" in your comment why you would want to spend an eternity with him at the Great Zombie Pinic in the Sky. You know, birds of a feather and all.

boomSLANG said...

Hmmmm....I can't tell---is this Ray character a legit' Christian being a dumb-ass?.... or is it a bored Athiest being a wise-ass?

It's a tough call, because we see such nonsensical buffoonery from Christians all the time....but on the other hand, if I had to mock how the typical Christian fundy distorts the Atheist position, I would likely come up with somethin' just as outrageous. Ooo! Ooo! LMAO!

twincats said...

Who wants to go to an afterlife with no animals? Plus, all of the kristobots, (like ray) as well??

Ick, no thanks!

dano said...

Hey Boom!
Check out Ray's web site by clicking on his name.

It is beautiful. It is perfect. It is a masterpiece. It is "Autism," pure and simple!
Dan

Lorena said...

Great post Dano!

I'd like to talk to Ray,
the True Christian who said this: True Christians have a far more noble fountain from whence they descended. We were originally created by the Almighty God

I went to your blog, Ray, and started to suspect you were a True Christian when I read the hatred, racism, and lack of intelligence you display on your posts.

Geeez!

madbuni said...

Great post Dano. Wow, just visited Ray's website. What a huge pile of shit, to put it mildly! LMAO!!!!! They are not worthy of a good challenge that many on this site could hand out!

Just a short time browsing and reading some of the rants and I knew I was either going to get really pissed or start laughing. Fortunately I did the latter and got the hell out of fantasy land.

alanh said...

Ray- judging by the smell I'd say your "noble fountain" needs a flush.

J. C. Samuelson said...

Ray,

Honestly, do you have nothing better to do than troll an ex-Christian website? Please go spend your hate on your own blog.

Astreja said...

Ray, go splash around and jerk off to Jebus in your "noble" fountain of blood. And then go read the prison statistics -- Behind bars, Christians vastly outnumber atheists, both in actual numbers and per capita as well.

So your god doesn't save animals? Good thing it doesn't actually exist.

Unkind regards,

A heathen lady who saved a puppy this very afternoon, and who vastly prefers the "aroma" of the monkey house to the nauseating stink of Christianity.

Dave8 said...

Great post Dano... Ray seems to have a few screws loose.

The atheist response to Christianity only exists, because of Ray, and the "dirt worshippers".

Ray: "There has never been an ape during the history of apes that achieved the ability to perceive the existence of God and to worship Him."

Well, I suppose we are now going to have to carve out a special niche in the homo sapient group, for those Christian fundies, who fall below the intellect of the mere monkey. And, while we are at it, how many times throughout history, have monkeys conspired to take over the world, and commit mass murder? None. It took god worship, to get the ball rolling; I think Ray and the fundies need to go to the zoo to learn some moral fortitude.

Anonymous said...

I am going to make one more remark about Ray, and then I will totally ignore his future posts, as it's obvious that his intention is to be a snert on this site for the attention.

People like Ray don't accept evolution, because they are so unevolved themselves, and I don't mean to imply that I think he's a throwback to apes or even further back to monkeys. This would be an insult to our primate ancestors anyway. I mean that he has failed to evolve in his thinking from when he was a child and was spoon fed both fire and brimstone threats as well as pie-in-the-sky promises of an ideal ever-lasting existence, if only he accepted without question what he was being taught. We ex-Christians have evolved through questioning and reasoning. We don't have all the answers to each one of life's mysteries; but fundies like Ray are convinced that they do. Being delusional is a sad thing. I like not knowing everything, it gives me an exciting challenge to explore our universe physically and with thought. This is what's never-ending. I am willing to guess that there are extra-terrestrial races out there who are millions of years ahead of us in science and technology and even philosophy, but still have not figured it all out.

In any case, yes, I think it's cool that we come from primates who are like today's apes or even monkeys. They're cute, noble and even beautiful and graceful creatures. What's so wrong with this? Why do fundies snicker and mock the idea that we had a common ancestor with the creatures we see in the zoo?

Anonymous said...

Ray
Whatever you do don't go away. Sooner or later you will want to know the truth because of what it is. I read your recent responses and know you are only repeating what people have told you. I was like you once and understand.If you really believe what you post then you should be able to prove it to us all and more importantly to yourself. When you finally see the light we will be here for you.

Jim Arvo said...

Ray, something tells me that you wear the mantle of "bigot" proudly, so it's unlikely that pointing out the crassness and narrow-mindedness of your remarks will make much of an impression on you. However, it's entirely possible you are unaware that your remarks also exude laziness. You clearly have no understanding of the people you disparage, nor any interest in attaining it. You have no clue what evolution posits, and you have no intention of changing that. (If I'm wrong on either of those points, please do correct me.) In fact, I'll be quite surprised if you even bother reading the replies to your posts. To me, Ray, all of that indicates you are simply taking the easy road in your beliefs; it's far easier to have "faith" than it is to actually think, isn't it? But, I might just as well be talking to myself... at least then I would have a thinking audience.

Good day.

Lance said...

I enjoyed the original post. I not only enjoy thinking of my ape like ancestors, I also enjoy looking at the face of my son's lizard, or petting my neighbors horse and thinking about the fact that we all share a common ancestor. I look at the toes on a mouse and wonder how long ago our great-great.... grandparents lived and what they looked liked.

I like being connected to all the living things on this planet. We are all descended from survivors, as none of our ancestors died in childhood, or were too ugly to get to have sex. ;-)

I think of the millions of cycles of reproduction and change and evolution my DNA had to go through before it got to me, and how it changes and lives on in my kids.

It is really cool stuff when you think about it.

eel_shepherd said...

Ray is what the eels evolved from.

stronger now said...

Is ray one of them "trolls" I hear about? I'm not familiar with the lingo on the web so I'm not sure if he fits that definition.

He is an asshole, I know that much.

Being an exchristian I used to think similarly(to my enduring shame)as he. So I know what I'm talking about when I say he's an asshole.

THE ACE said...

Ray: Who's more intelligent? A human being who shares a common
ancestor with apes, and uses that
intelligence to discern and
analyze (perhaps over a period
of many years) the faults and
nonsense of organized religion, and
uses that information to break away from it, or someone like you, who blindly accepts it all and goes brain-dead for the rest of
his life?

By the way, after reading your
letter, I don't think you have to worry about someone thinking you've descended from an ape. I
don't think any ape would want to claim you as a relative.

Telmi said...

Ray,

You appear to just another God-sucker who is totally ignorant about the drivel he is spewing.

Please go and read your Bible, from Genesis down to say, Joshua and tell us whether your God is not the fiend that he has been portrayed to be. Would you like me to quote some of the Bible passages that portray your God as an asshole, a genocidal maniac, a capricious malevolent psychopath, a jackass with a huge dependency on humans etc etc?

RubyHypatia said...

I like being a monkey's aunt. Beats being descended from a man's rib.