A 'Bless You' and a Curse
by Amanda, a.k.a. newly not
So I'm in a bit of a dilemma here being newly not. I was in the car the other day with my Christian friend - whom, to her knowledge, still thinks I'm a Christian, too - when she did the unthinkable - she sneezed. I sat there in silence, scrambling to come up with how I would react.
Do I betray myself and go all hypocritical by saying "bless you"? I'd rather not.
How about subtly turning it into an atheist thing by "accidentally" pronouncing it wrong? (WTF is a "blesh"?!). Nah, that phrase is too close for comfort in conforming to Christian culture.
I could say "excuse you", but some would consider that even ruder than remaining mum.
"Gesundheit"? Changing the language is not changing the origins.
I could always say nothing...as in, sorry I'm not acknowledging your biological, involuntary functions!
I chose to do the latter. Gosh, that isn't very polite now, is it?
To counter, I thought it was a dumb aspect of culture to begin with. I mean, no one says "congrats" when you cough. Why do we sometimes feel the pull to blindly conform to entrenched godly traditions? ("Thank God!" is another one that comes to mind). Not giving an empty blessing is a fairly simple choice to no longer make in this situation.
Ya'll can go on "skipping heartbeats", and I'll skip wasting my breath.
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So I'm in a bit of a dilemma here being newly not. I was in the car the other day with my Christian friend - whom, to her knowledge, still thinks I'm a Christian, too - when she did the unthinkable - she sneezed. I sat there in silence, scrambling to come up with how I would react.
Do I betray myself and go all hypocritical by saying "bless you"? I'd rather not.
How about subtly turning it into an atheist thing by "accidentally" pronouncing it wrong? (WTF is a "blesh"?!). Nah, that phrase is too close for comfort in conforming to Christian culture.
I could say "excuse you", but some would consider that even ruder than remaining mum.
"Gesundheit"? Changing the language is not changing the origins.
I could always say nothing...as in, sorry I'm not acknowledging your biological, involuntary functions!
I chose to do the latter. Gosh, that isn't very polite now, is it?
To counter, I thought it was a dumb aspect of culture to begin with. I mean, no one says "congrats" when you cough. Why do we sometimes feel the pull to blindly conform to entrenched godly traditions? ("Thank God!" is another one that comes to mind). Not giving an empty blessing is a fairly simple choice to no longer make in this situation.
Ya'll can go on "skipping heartbeats", and I'll skip wasting my breath.
To monitor comments posted to this topic, use
.
Comments
I'm a polite person, but I've had people stare balefully at me for not thanking them...for what? What have they done for me by saying "bless you?" Since I have allergies and sneeze a lot...they've made me feel conspicuous by highlighting an involuntary action I'd rather they ignore.
While teaching, I've had students use the blessing me custom as an excuse to get off topic over and over again.
Sneezing for me is often accompanied by headaches, etc., and having to cope with weird customs at the same time is very distressing.
Of course "us christians" don't want to continue that, so at my place we never did, but nowadays,
who cares?
Seriously, though, how about "Are you ok?"
If I'm in the presence of someone who gets blessed after sneezing, I'll often explain the historical context: people used to believe that when you sneeze, your soul is expelled briefly from your body (soul=breath). Blessing the person was supposed to keep the devil from slipping into the body in place of the soul. So how about saying, "I hope an invisible, evil creature didn't take over your body just now" ?
So TAKE THAT!! ye haughty men of faith!!
I used to think that I should not respond with the “sneeze blessing” as it was rooted in superstition and, above all things, I wanted to be “rational”. But I liked and allowed Halloween activities so perhaps I was being inconsistent and a bit of a prude as well. I now give “the blessing”, if I think the person is expecting it. It doesn’t harm me, and it makes the sneezer feel better. All in good fun, methinks!
Why is there not a 'god bless you' for farts?
Some people have pattern sneezes, i for one use to sneeze in 3's. but as im getting older, i sneeze in 4's so i try to form words in my sneeze.
Create your very own ways of responding.
I, most of the time, don't say anything when someone else sneezes. I am irritated with the whole "bless you" thing because it is sometimes used to spite me. Example? My father-in-law, who knows fully that we (me, my husband, and our children) are an Atheist family, will make it a point to say "GOD BLESS YOU!" when any of us sneezes. Needless to say, I find myself trying to get rid of the urge to sneeze now. I think you can tell when it's a good wish and when it's a bad wish (Curse). Even the best words/phrases can be turned into curse words/phrases.
I do however like the suggestion of "Are you ok?" I too have allergies and so I'm prone to sneezing but I've learned pretty well how to get rid of it.
Going to college I'm surrounded by "bless you" if I (or anyone else) sneeze/s.
I think though, if my father-in-law had not turned it into a bad thing, I may have not had such a problem with the phrase at all.
I however, bless myself, followed with a... 'man, those demonic spirits are flying today'... It's my blessing... why should someone else get to put their religious spin on it. I tend to not let others take something in my life, and use it for their gain; I am not a political poster board for their God marketing campaign when I sneeze.
It's like the other thread with the shootings at VT... When a person/group doesn't proffer a comment on the topic, others will fill in the blanks to their cause and benefit.
My friends know how I am not religious; and so, when they sneeze, I ask them if they are okay, it's a sign that I care, I even throw in a joke every now and then.
I must say I can't stop saying "Thank God" in certain situations. It's an expression that's permanantly fixed in my brain I just can't seem to ditch.
Re: Thank god:
I too have had difficulty redacting that phrase from my vocabulary.
I have had some small success substituting "thank goodness", but have (mostly) switched to "thank WOOD-ness",....
Just because I think it's funny.....
Or, "oh my WOOD-ness"...as an exclamation....etc.
When someone says "Jesus!" I use a response I first heard from a drunk many years ago... "How'd you recognize me without my sandals?"
It's because, for farts, we have, "Speak again, o toothless one!"
But I digress.
There must be some say-nothing expression from rap culture that could be ported to the post-sneeze platform. Might give it some longevity that it would otherwise be denied. Maybe "word", or something ending in "-izzle". "Yo' mama" would not be a good choice...
Or from Chinese. There must be some sneeze response that has to do with long life or good luck (in Chinese culture, there's a good luck tie-in to e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...). Hey, there y'go: how about simply "Long life." Beats "It's all good."
Perhaps you could say, "bliss you," which is what a lot of freethinkers and/or pagans are saying these days. Close enough to confuse them; they'll think you're saying bless you. It's like when I say the pledge (I'm a teacher, and have to say it every stinking day); I always say, "one nation, Underdog, indivisible..." Not one student has caught one. A boomer friend of mine jokes about saying, "one nation, Tennessee Tuxedo, indivisible..."
~Kim
I had to stop myself from laughing my ass off (I'm at a library) at all of the clever comments and suggestions.
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